A Free Gift… called Grace

“What time is it?” I called out to the bartender, who was leaning against the beer cooler at the other end of the bar. He struggled to take his eyes off the TV that was attached to the wall near him. Looking at his watch, he said, “It’s 12:30.” Then as he turned back to the game that was on he grumbled, “Buy a watch, why don’t ya!” I shook my head and picked up my drink and stopped in mid air thinking, “I wish I could afford to buy another watch or get my good one out of hock.” But I knew that wouldn’t be happening any time soon. Shrugging my shoulders, I brought the drink to my lips and took a long pull. Life in the fast lane was not all it was cracked up to be.

I drank for another half hour, then decided to hoof it home. My car had been repossessed so I didn’t have a lot of choice. Just as I was getting up from the bar, I spied a dealer I knew coming in. We had done business before and as he walked past me he nodded but did not stop to chat. I could see he was heading toward the bartender. I thought, “Maybe a few free lines could be had!” I ambled over and stood next to the dealer. He didn’t look at me but could see me in the mirror behind the bar and said, “What you doin’? I ain’t here to talk to you.” I nodded and said, “Just thought I would say hello. Being friendly, you know.” He looked at me then and said, “I heard about you, man, so broke you don’t even have a ride anymore. So again, what you doin’ comin’ over here?” I shrugged and said, “Thought maybe I could get a taste, you know, nothing special, just friendly.” He drew close enough so I could smell his breath and said, “You got no friends, get it? No money, no friends. Do I look like a charity to you? Like they say nothing is free, now hit the bricks or I will ask Lou over there to toss you!” As I turned to leave I heard him laughing.

Nothing is free. I have heard that all my life. In fact, I grew up in a home that was based on the adage: “There is no free ride.” Everyone of my brothers and sister contributed to the household or at least got a job to support whatever needs we had. There was little money to go around. But also, as I grew up I was taught that there was no free ride with God either. It seemed like He too required that you earn your way with Him. Kind of a tit for tat thing. If I was a good kid and kept all rules I would get a free pass to heaven. But if I was bad and broke the law, it was hell for me, literally.

It was no better when I was on my own and as addictions took up more and more of my life, I knew there was no longer anyway to play by the rules I had learned. I had become a lawbreaker and the God I knew had no use for me. So, in return, I came to believe I had no use for Him. I could no longer work my way to heaven, so why even try.

Results were a bitter and broken man. Yeah, a lot of it was that I was ingesting poisons into my body daily. But there was more to it then that. I had no moral center. Yet the crazy thing was that with all of it, I would tell myself that I was still a good guy.

If I had to do someone wrong in a drug deal, that was only because I was protecting my dealer’s product. If I had to lie and cheat at a business deal that was ok too because that was the way business was done or that is what I was hired to do. If I ran from my son because I chose drugs over him. It was all ok. Everyone is doing it. Just the way of the world. I have my own truth and so do you. So easy to get lost.

Problem is there really only one truth and His name is Jesus Christ. It took me a long time to be able to say that. I really did not want to accept or believe even as the evidence in God’s Word confirmed it. The real proof was how the more I input that Word into my life, how that life began to change. Not all at once, but slowly, I found swearing, cheating, lying and even drinking no longer could exist. And I also realized the only good and righteousness one was Him who died for my sin.

The other cool thing I found was that it wasn’t tit for tat. I could not do a thing to change any of it, not one work I did affected anything. It started to happen when I believed that: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And not through your own doing, it is a gift from God.” (Ephesians 2:8) That is when the miracles occurred. I had found the one free thing, the grace of God. Nothing has ever been the same. Bitterness became joy. Brokenness was made whole.

Today, I find myself wanting more. Yes, this world still tugs at me. So, each day, I look to the cross and say, “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) I can’t earn something Jesus already did, but I can surrender daily and as I do he continues to do the work in me. Awesome.

Years ago, I left that bar defeated, humiliated and cursing my life. It was a low point and if some one then would have showed me the love of God, my life might have been different, but no one did. I offer it to you today. It is a free gift. Grace, forgiveness, and hope. You see Jesus already paid the bill. What you got to lose?

Blessings John
11/29/17

You having a bad day…read this

“What do ya want?” I asked as I opened the door. A young man and young woman stood there, smiling. Before they could speak I said, “I don’t want any, I don’t need saving, I already know all I want to know about Jesus. Just leave me alone.” But as I was about the slam the door, the young man said something that stopped me, “Sir, I have your life in my hands! You need to think about that!”

I opened the door a little wider and looked at him with a cold stare, “What are you talking about, are you threatening me?” He just smiled even broader and said, “No, no threats, just truth. I hold in my hand the book of life and I am sure that it could save yours! At this I just swore and slammed the door for good.

As I returned to the front room, passing by the stereo, I cranked it up. I had been listening to Bob Dylan’s new album, but not really paying a lot of attention. It had come with a few others in the mail from the Record Club of America. Now as I sat down, I heard lyrics saying:

“…Surrender your crown on the blood-stained ground, take off your mask. He sees your deeds even before you ask. How long can you falsely deny what is real?…”

I rummaged around to find the album cover, “Long Train Coming” turning it over, I saw that it was songs about God and Jesus. I shook my head and mumbled, “This ain’t right, no matter where I turn these days someone is trying to sell me their religion!” I got up and took the album off the turntable and sailed it across the room, hitting the wall it broke. Smiling, I said, “Now that is what I am talking about!” Looking through my albums I found Led Zeppelin and as it’s loud rhythms filled the room. I sank back in my chair, taking a pull from the whiskey bottle sitting next to it, I whispered “Peace at last!” and closed my eyes in a drunken stupor.

Man, most of my life I fought to keep the message of Jesus out. I really wanted no part of whatever He was all about. I cannot tell you how many times the incident above played out. Some one would come to the door offering to talk to me about Jesus. Most times they never got past the opening line, if that. This particular guy I remembered because he shocked me with the line he used, it was effective. But in the end, I shut him down too. Anytime I heard anyone or anything referring to the Savior, wham, I shut it out. Period.

I know there are a lot of people out there like me. Maybe not as hardcore but just as adamant about closing the door every time Jesus knocks. My friends, I get it. But all I can say today is, “Give Jesus a chance and listen to this from God’s Word: “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…” (Hebrews 3:15a) You can know that everyday God is giving you an opportunity to change the life you are living. I know if you are struggling with addictions or depression or just life in the pressure cooker that is our world today, life ain’t all that great. The question is what do you have to lose. And even more maybe it is time to think what you have got to gain!

When you get to know God, really know Him. You will find this amazing love. I know you have probably been told or have come to believe that He is some vindictive being that is waiting to smack you around every time you fail but I have come to know, He is not. He is a God that loved us so much, He did this, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Have you ever loved anyone that much? Do you have a child you would sacrifice for a complete stranger? Our God did that, for you and for me. How can you turn away from love like that? Even this old lush was changed when I saw and believed it.

I know, you have heard this all before. Just another guy who was ‘born again’ trying to convince the world to believe in a God who doesn’t exist. If you are feeling this way, I understand. I have been there. But I want to tell a story Jesus told about the love of God. It is a famous story to those who read the Bible, found in the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 15. Most people know it as the Prodigal Son. I will tell it in my own words, then I am done, and it is up to you. Here is how it goes.

There was a rich farmer who had two sons. His youngest was kind of wild and the oldest was not. One day the youngest tells his dad, “I can’t hang around here forever, this farm is boring. I know you have some money laid aside for me. Give it to me now and I am out of here.” The father knows better, but he also knows the only way his son will see truth is to be out in the world on his own. He gives him the money. Of course, the son goes out and blows it all on partying and soon is broke with no friends to his name especially since the money has run out. So, he gets a job cleaning up after pigs, for so little pay he can barely eat. One day he thinks, “I will go home and work for my dad as a hired hand. I know he pays them better than this.” He came far and finally as he is walking up the farm road, his father sees him from a long way off and comes running out to meet him. And even though he is dirty and smell even worse wraps his arms around him and hugs him hard. He tells his hired hands to get the best clothes and shoes, even puts a ring on his finger. The son tries to tell him that he is willing earn his keep now, but the father won’t even listen. All he knows is that this son who was lost is now found. Let the party begin! (paraphrase from Luke 15:11-24)

That is the God I have come to know. He allowed me for over 56 years to wallow in every pig sty I could. Still stinking of every kind of sin. Yet the moment I decided to come to Him, He was there with open arms and He is there waiting for you. Yes, His Son, Jesus, has already died for your and my sins. And that is love, my friends. Love I never knew or understood. But today I am blessed to share it with you. All you got to do is ask, His arms are open, nothing you have done can stop Him from loving you. Enough said… at least for now.

Blessings John
11/27/17

 

Thanksgiving Part 3…sharing charity

“Can you help a guy out?” the disheveled man said as I was leaving the bar. I had seen him before, asking people in the parking lot if he could wash their windshield. I had over $500 in my pocket, but I also had a drug deal I needed to get done before Thanksgiving. I ignored the guy.

Later that day I was waiting in the parking lot of the mall where I always met my dealer and I was sure the same guy was there too. He was carrying what looked like the same bucket and I was sure it had to be him. But that could not be possible, the bar was at least 5 miles from here, clear on the other side of town. It must be a coincidence. Anyways, all these bums looked alike.

As I watched him going from car to car, I began to think of times when I had been down and out. I boasted in my mind that I had never lowered myself to begging. I mean, you had to have no pride at all doing that. And the thing was, during the holidays everyone was doing it, or so it seemed. Soon the do-gooders would be in front of every store with their bells and buckets. You could not get away from it.

I was woken out of my revelry as I saw a red Vette approaching. It was Jimmy, who most on the street called Jet. I was probably going to have to do a bit of begging of my own, being a little short on cash. I got out of my car and got into his. He seemed to be watching the same bum. Turning to me, he pointed at the guy and said, “That dude is all over town, man! I just saw him outside the car wash no more than an hour ago. I bet he is a phony, he must have a car to get around like he does.” I nodded my head in agreement and said, “Yeah, I just saw him outside the bar no more than two hours ago. You think he is scamming?” Jet just nodded and replied, “It is all a scam, this charity thing. At least this guy offers to clean your windshield. Those guys in the Santa suits are the real scam artists. I bet they pocket half of what they collect.” I waved it away, we had more important business if I was going to stay high and survive this Thanksgiving. I chuckled thinking, “I need to give to my favorite charity….me!”

Charity is a word I found no use for in my addicted years. It was my opinion that it was every man for himself. If you were hungry go out and get a job. No sympathy is coming from this guy. It is funny that the first thing the Lord did, as I drew closer to Him, was give me a total attitude adjustment in the love and charity department. As I started to see what a sacrifice he made for me, what love he offered as a free gift to this hard-hearted man, I was changed! It was crazy, but every ministry I was directed to was one of caring for people in need. I became one of those ‘do-gooder’ I so often derided as a drunken druggie. Isn’t that a hoot! Our God has a great sense of humor!

The thing is if we are imbued with Jesus, if He is actually living in us, we cannot help but to seek loving and caring for others, because that is what He did. His life was one of a servant. An amazing thing, our Creator came to this earth to serve us. I am still trying to wrap my mind around it. But it is true. He said this of His ministry when the followers of John the Baptist asked if He was the Messiah, “the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have the good news preached to them.” (Matthew 11:5) There are no ‘bums’ or ‘low lives’ in the eyes of the Savior, because truthfully, we are all low lives in the presence of our Holy God and we are all equal in the power of Jesus to save each of us! Truly, we are all equal in the eyes of the Lord. Knowing this can definitely change your life and melt your heart.

Today as we approach another holiday season most of us are going to be busy celebrating with our family and friends. But I want to ask that none of us forget that this time of the year is not about food. It is not about presents. It is an opportunity to draw closer to Jesus. If we do so we will not be able to turn a blind eye to those who are in need. And my prayer is if we seek charity and love centered in Jesus today, it will not end when the Christmas tree comes down. Jesus is coming soon! On that day I hope you and I are among the sheep on His right and hear Him say, “For I was hungry, and you gave Me to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you invited me in.” (Matthew 25:35) Man, what a day that will be!

I want to say, “Happy Thanksgiving” to all of my American friends. If you are reading this in another country. I still want to say how thankful I am that you are a friend of mine, if we have met or not. I share on these pages because of the extraordinary forgiveness and love our God has bestowed on me. If you feel any of that love as you read, then I am blessed doubly.

Happy Thanksgiving blessings, John
11/22/17

Thanksgiving Part 2… Sharing faith

“Keep the faith!” she yelled as I drove away. I looked in my rearview mirror shaking my head as I watched her waving frantically. “What faith?” I thought. “I have no faith to keep.”

Marilee and I had been going out for over a month and she was a good person but hopelessly optimistic. We had met in the local bar where I spent most of my time. She was a waitress there but was not really part of that scene. She had been married to a roughneck, an oil rig hand, who had spent most of his time on the rigs and when not there chasing women in and about town. Their divorce had been final just 3 months ago. With no signs of him anywhere and even worse no child support, Marilee had no choice but to find any work she could. She became a waitress in my watering hole.

I had noticed her right away as most of the guys did, she was cute. But I saw something else, she was like a fish out of water. I was curious why anyone so unattuned to bar life would end up working the late shift at a dive like this one. She evidently found me as curious, noticing that I rarely sat with or even near people when I was drinking. After about a week she struck up a conversation. I really wanted to no part of it, but my curiosity got the better of me.

In the subsequent nights we began to talk more and more. She told me about her 5-year-old daughter and about her desperation to support her. I spoke only of the most cursory facts of my life. I felt no need to impress her, last thing I needed right now was a woman in my life. But in spite of that we started dating. At first, I would help her clean up at closing time and make sure she got home safe. Then we started seeing each other on her nights off. I even met her beautiful little girl. It was all good until the day before Thanksgiving when she asked me to attend church with her. That was something I just wasn’t willing to do.

Over the last week she was trying often to bring our conversations to a place where God or Jesus was always being mentioned. I had politely sat and listened as she would tell me about her faith. To her God was real. Jesus was her Savior and friend. I could tell she truly believed things that I saw no reason to trust or believe. I knew I would have to tell her that I not only doubted there was a God but that my only true believe was in the safety of my next drink. I knew she wouldn’t understand, but faith in a guy who died on the cross 2000 years ago was for saps. Not happening in my life, not for her or anyone.

How many years did I run from God? It was so many that I have a hard time remembering if even as a child being raised in a Catholic family I ever knew who God was or if I ever had a ounce of faith. It is a long journey for any of us who came from under the layers of garbage the world piled on us, to a place where Jesus washes that all away once we turn to Him.

But how does that happen to a person, like myself, they can go from completely faithless to one who is totally faithful. I really believe that is the core of what I write in these pages 3 days a week. It is simple, but it is also complex. The simple answer lies in one book, God’s Word, the Bible. But the complex part is how God opens each of us to that Word.

In my case, and I have told this story many times, I picked up the Bible as part of a deal to keep my ever-failing marriage together. I agreed to read it if my wife would allow me to live my life as I wanted. To drink. To hang out with people she didn’t care for. It seemed easy enough. What I didn’t bargain for was the power of God’s Word.

I did not know, “For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12) Powerful words, right? But they are the absolute truth. The Word was able to take this besotted atheist and turn him into a man of faith.

I always must state that it is not magic, but it is a miracle. What I mean by that is you cannot just have the book sitting on your front room coffee table and expect that it will absorb into you by osmosis. No, the miracle part comes when you begin reading or listening, it will change you. And that, my friends, is amazing.

Faith can come to the faithless. The apostle Paul says, “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17) That is why I am a believer today. I read and listen to the words of Jesus every day. I never miss one because I know there is still an enemy out there that wants to steal His words out of my mind and heart. I am not going to let him do that. I want to be and declare I am a man of faith in the Son of God who died and gave Himself for me. And that is what the whole Bible is all about!

I drove away from Marilee. I spent that Thanksgiving in the bar and avoided her from that time on. Eventually I heard she married a guy from her church and I never saw her again. I sometimes wish I would have listened when she spoke of faith, but I did not. I spent over 30 years not knowing the joy being faithful brings. My Thanksgiving prayer today is one of gratitude to a merciful God, who waited until just the right time to save me. I believe as you read this today, it is your time. Don’t spend this Thanksgiving alone, even among family, open the Word of God today. He is waiting just for you.

Blessings John
11/20/17