Month: April 2018

“Jump! Come on what are you waiting for?” Friends in the pool about 30’ below were jibing me. As I stood there, I had no fear of heights. I had worked on multi-story buildings and had walked across 8” beams hundreds of feet off the ground. But as I stood on that cliff above the quarry where we had gathered on that hot summer day, I was petrified. There was a difference between walking on a beam and jumping off a cliff, or at least as far as I was concerned. I did not want to do it but how would that look? The big Ironworker, who defies death daily, now afraid to jump. Especially after almost everyone below had done so.

As I was standing there, I heard a voice behind me. “Hey, John, you know you don’t have to do this.” I turned to see Charon, a small red-headed girl standing there smiling. She was looking at me as if she could read my mind. “You have nothing to prove. I think it doesn’t make any sense at all jumping off a cliff this high. Come on we can head down or maybe we should just leave.” At this I shook my head, “No way, Char, if I don’t do this I will never live it down! You know that as well as I do these guys think I have no fear. I mean, all the stories I have told about the crazy things I have done. I have got to do this.”

She stood looking at me for a moment and then did something I would have never expected. Within a second it seemed like, she was standing next to me. Grabbing my hand she pulled me with her as she pushed off the precipice. In a minute my heart was in my throat and I was plummeting toward the water. Bracing for impact, I hit the water feet first. It was colder than I would have expected, and I had to control myself from taking a breath while still under the water. As I came to the surface, Charon was already up. I could see she looked as amazed as I felt. And I knew she had not expected to do what she did either. Swimming over to me she whispered, “It is always easier to face fear with another ‘fraidy cat’ don’t you think?” I started laughing so hard I swallowed a big mouthful of water. Coughing and hacking, I could only shake my head. Yeah, she was right.

As a non-believer I pretended a lot that I had no fear. There were so many other instances including on the job where I would put on the face of stoic calm when inside I was cringing like that little boy who was so afraid of the dark. The problem was that most of the time there were no ‘Charon’s’ to grab my hand as I leapt into the unknown. It was all about me and what I could do in the face of fear.

I wish I could say when I came to the Lord all that changed but I really didn’t. The hard reality was I had little faith and even less trust in man or God. And though I started to believe that God existed, and Jesus was truly the Son of God. I still chose not to grab His hand.

The beautiful and amazing thing about God is that He is like my friend Charon, He knows my fear and wants to take that leap of faith with me. Did you know that His assurance of ‘Fear not’ is in the Bible 365 times, that is one promise for every day of the year? One of my favorites, which I have quoted in these pages dozens of times is, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

It was that promise and so many others like it that cracked through my self-sufficient fear. But what it also did was help me to see that my fear and how I dealt with it was a matter of pride. I did not want to show the world a vulnerable man who needed other folks and a Savior God to face fear. But His Word convicted me that I did. And I also learned it was the only way to know pure love, God’s love because, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) In faith, began to trust and to admit my fear, now grabbing the nail-marked hand of the Savior. He is the one who willingly died the second death for me. And now lives ever to intercede for us.

Now a days I have been blessed with a partner that has taught me even more about trust and faith. In RuthAnn I have found in those times when I am back on that cliff petrified with fear, she will be there to assure me I am not alone. It is more than awesome.

I lost contact with Charon after I left Washington state. I had to leave without saying good bye to a lot of people because I was on the run from a dealer who was causing me a whole lot of fear. I was always sad that I had never thanked her for taking that plunge with me. Maybe she will read this and smile. I know I am laughing out loud today. Now there is still fear but it is covered in faith!

Blessings John

4/30/18

I could feel the truck going out of control. I knew we had just hit a patch of black ice. This had happened often enough since we moved to the Northwest but most of the time almost as fast as traction was lost it would be regained. Not this time. I let off the gas pedal and steered into the skid. It did not feel like the truck was righting itself. I looked at my young son, who was on the seat next to me, his head was down almost like he did not want to see what would happen next. I sure couldn’t blame him for that, I felt like doing the same thing.

As I continued my efforts to straighten us out, I felt a jolt. What was that? Immediately my right arm went out to protect my son. As I looked over my shoulder I could see a red pickup truck having hit the same patch of ice had careened into my bumper. Now we were locked together in a slow dance heading into on coming traffic. There was really nothing I could do but protect my son and hang on to the steering wheel with my left hand hoping for a miracle.

I don’t know if in that moment I prayed but I think I must have. If there was a god, help me but more than anything let Eric make it out of this alive. Within seconds I felt the tires meet dry road, but I knew I could not hit the gas because I was almost parallel to the highway and my back bumper was hooked to the red truck’s front. I imagine if you had a bird’s eye point of view we would have looked like a giant V sliding down the road. So, my only thought was to hit the brakes and see what happened and that is exactly what I did.

There was screeching rubber and I believe if I was not cantilevered by the other truck we would have flipped, but instead the other truck slammed into me sideways and both of us came to a complete halt, half in our lane and half in oncoming traffic and as I looked there was car heading directly for us.

Now I remember for sure I cried out, “If you are there, help us!” or something very much like that. With those words I closed my eyes and threw myself over my boy. In the seconds that felt like hours I waited for impact, but it never came. Finally, I opened my eyes to see the oncoming car had stopped; but what I did not know a semi-truck coming in the other direction had been able to stop even as it hit that patch of ice. There was a crazy silence for a few seconds and then I heard my son weeping beneath me. Jumping up I pulled him upright and checked if he was ok. Nothing, just scared. I told him not to move as I had to crawl over him to get out of the truck seeing the driver’s door was smushed in. My prayer forgotten, I had more important things to do.

These days I think how many times I was saved from certain injury or even death and know that God is not discriminating when it comes to protection of His children. He even protects sinners and fools. But if I take that thought one step farther, that is not really a surprise, we are all sinners and a whole bunch of us are fools.

When I tell people stories of my life invariably some one will say, “God must have a plan for you if He saved you so many times.” I certainly can’t disagree with them, but I also know I am not that special. He wants to save us all and I believe if you look at your life you will see many times when His hand was upon you and like me, you just took it for granted or you thought it was luck.

But the Word of God says this, “This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2: 3-4) God wants to save all of us and if we are willing to see it He gives us opportunity after opportunity to see His saving power in our lives, Miracles and I think today you and I should be recognizing them and thanking Him.

But, of course, it does not end there. Our salvation is not only in this world, it is in the kingdom to come and this is where the true miracle lies, “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) And we are not saved in this world to live more for ourselves but to surrender our life to Him.

But I did not think of any of this standing on that dreary highway in the Olympic National Forest years ago. Even though I had cried out to God, I did not give Him a second thought, no matter how miraculously we were saved. In fact, it would be many years before I would look at His saving power with gratitude and humble surrender. Don’t waste all the years I have, acknowledge Him today. He is saving you, so you can spend eternity with Him. How cool is that!

Blessings and Happy Sabbath,  John

4/27/18

I am at a beautiful place this morning. RuthAnn is attending a teacher’s conference at Cohutta Springs Conference Center in Northern Georgia. As I said, a beautiful place with mountains or at least hills, loaded with trees of every sort. There is also a man-made lake that surrounds the facility. Unfortunately, the weather has been horrendous. The first night there was rain and hurricane force winds. Then yesterday the winds calmed down but there were still periods of heavy rain. But finally, last night after dinner the clouds parted for a while allowing RuthAnn and I to walk the nature path around the lake. It was beautiful.

The woods had the aroma of fresh fallen rain, filled with scents of trees and flowers. But what makes this walk special is that there are rest stops along the way that have Bible verses written and posted near a sheltered bench. Each of the verses declare the glory of God, as does the natural environment they are surrounded with.

As I was looking out at the lake this morning from the exercise room, I started to think that we are surrounded by beauty of God’s creation so often and we are way to busy to see it or acknowledge it. But we certainly find a way to spend our spare time seeing and acknowledging the ugly that is in the world.

Why? Why do we as creations of a loving God live our lives not only in but seeking the dark side of this world. Honestly, this has been a question I have had since the Holy Spirit began His transforming work in my life. I mean, I saw who I was before; a guy who not only sought out the dark side but reveled in it. And with all the prayer and introspection I have done it seems to me that Satan has a way of making what is dark seem not so dark and what is evil seem acceptable and normal.

Maybe an example from my life would help me explain. Here I was living the life of a drug dealer and involved in various sexual relationships but when I looked in the mirror in the morning I just saw a guy who was getting by. I was a good guy, right? I really wasn’t hurting anyone. I truly believed that. Even though I was selling poison and sneaking around with another man’s wife. And the reality was the lower I sunk, the lower I set my standards of what was ok. Satan was making darkness seem almost like light, because I also worked in a soup kitchen and gave money to help those with AIDS. How could a guy who did that be ‘bad’?

The real problem was that Satan had convinced me I was not sinful. He basically convinced me like He has so many that everything I had ever been taught about God is a lie. And it took me years to see that he has been in this business from the very beginning, check this out from the first book in the Bible “Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3: 1-4) From the very beginning Satan has tried to convince us that God is the liar not him and unfortunately many of us have believed him.

And the problem is now that it has permeated our whole society. I left a good paying job because I was required to lie, to ‘tow the company line’. When I was walking in darkness, I had no problem with this. But as I was “called out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9) I could no longer do so. And not only that but I began to see the wonder of God’s love and His world. It was and is not the ugly place so many of us are convinced by media and society that it is.

So, I guess for me it comes down to, “Who do I, who do you, believe?” We can continue to be those of whom Jesus says this, “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44) Or we can follow Him who declared Himself, “… “am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.” (John 14:6) I know my answer and because I do I choose not to see ugly. No, I do not bury my head in the sand, but today I seek the light.

Being in a place like we are today, helps to remind me of the world our God intended for us. But later today we head home and back to the world in which darkness is around every corner but now I am convinced it is our job to bring light to those who live in those dark places. To show our God is not the liar, He is the way and the truth and the light.

Blessings John

4/24/18

When RuthAnn and I were first getting to know each other we only communicated by Instant Messenger on Facebook. Seeing she was on the East Coast and I was on the West Coast her morning message would be waiting for me when I got up. Normally it was full of encouraging thoughts she had during her devotion time. Bible verses and quotes from spirit of prophecy, it was always so cool to read and led to my responding with my own devotional thoughts.

As the day went on we would send short texts or just emojis that expressed what we were feeling or going through at that moment. Sometime during one of those short blurbs RuthAnn mentioned how sometimes it would be good just to get away to a desert island for a while and she used a palm tree emoji. I responded that the island would need the following: monkeys, bananas and chickens again, using an emoji for each. From that time on and even now whenever one us would send the other emojis for palm tree, monkey, banana and chicken instantly we know there is something frustrating in our lives. We seek that place where we could be away from it all.

I am pretty sure that it is human nature to seek refuge from the world. I don’t know if this is a modern thing because of the fast pace world we live in or if it is something built into our DNA that creates the need for solitude. I know that I have always been a loner. Even as a kid I was ok by myself. And if I sought company it was normally with my dog Specks.

The truth is that there is real benefit in solitude, Jesus often sought that time alone when He could just be with the Father. He gave us this advice about it, “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Mathew 6:6) There is a time when all of us should seek to be alone just with our Creator.

My problem was that I sought what I called ‘self-aloneness’. Here is what I mean. During my drinking and druging years I was perfectly happy sitting in a room by myself with a bottle of booze and a bag of speed. In fact, I preferred it. There is a rocker named Ted Nugent, he wrote a song “I Drink Alone” part of the lyrics goes like this:

The other day I got invited to a party,
But I stayed home instead
Just me and my pal Johnny Walker
And his brothers Black and Red
And we drink alone…

The reference that non-drinkers might not get is ‘Johnny Walker’ is a kind of Scotch Whiskey and Black and Red are types of that brand of booze. This was my theme song for many years. I liked self-imposed aloneness. And when I look at it now, I find it very sad.

So, what is my point? For me it is simple. There is good alone and really bad alone. And as servants of the living God we need to know the difference. I am sure most of you have never sat alone in a room with a bottle of booze drinking yourself into oblivion. But I will also bet that a lot of you have sat in front of a TV or computer, spending hours alone either bingeing on a reality show or playing your favorite video game. Or maybe for you it is social media. Whatever it is, this is the ‘self-aloneness’ I am talking about and it is not what God seeks for us.

The amazing thing for me was as the Holy Spirit was transforming my life, I found the need for this aloneness was taken from me. I read this verse “For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy.” (2 Timothy 3:2) I saw who I was sitting in that room alone, absorbed in myself and I never wanted to be that person again and through the grace of God I am not! I have been called to service and seek to spread the love of Jesus Christ and His last day message. And I know you cannot do that sitting alone in a room no matter what your addiction is.

My blessing is now I have a partner in Christ, in RuthAnn, who has assured and taught me a lot about good alone time, in prayer and in devotion. And with us even when we do share the palm tree, monkey, banana and chicken, I know that we would seek a desert island where we could serve God in a way that helps others to see they are never alone. May you today see those things in your life that bind you in ‘self-aloneness’ and know, “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, (Titus 2:11-12) Be alone with God today and you are never alone. Then go out and share with others!

Blessings John

4/23/18

 

As I write this morning, I am sitting in the waiting room of our local Toyota dealership waiting on RuthAnn’s car. Just routine maintenance. You know with most cars today, they tell us when it is time for something to be done. In the case of my wife’s Corolla a warning shows up on the dashboard saying, “Maintenance Required”. Who would have ever thought our cars would become so bossy.

Like any of you that are about my age, I am sure the cars you grew up with were a little more owner friendly, to say the least. Now I was never a ‘car’ guy. I learned how to change the oil, air filter and inflate the tires. But beyond that I was lost. Still I had plenty of friends who were into being covered in grease and spending their spare time busting knuckles. To be conversant with them I learned the basics of car repair. Knowing all the names of all the parts and also learning to nod my head during the right part of our conversations. I would have been happy if that would have been the extent of my auto repair resume.

The only problem was that I had a habit of buying clunkers. I am the guy who bought that car from your neighbor, yeah, the one he had been trying to sell for a year, but no one was foolish enough to buy it. Well, I did, and you can bet it led me to becoming more acquainted with auto repair than I had ever wanted to be.

It was a blessing and a curse. The blessing was that I could never afford a new car so at least most of these lemons got me back and forth to work. The curse was that I also couldn’t afford to pay a mechanic, so the Chilton manual became one of my favorite books for most of my adult life. I got greasy and busted a lot of knuckles. That is until I started thinking about the situation in a whole different way.

By the time I had reached my late 40’s I knew that not only was my field Ironworking career coming to an end but also that I really did not want to be climbing under a car on the shoulder of a highway or a gravel driveway. It came to me that I probably spent enough time and money repairing the clunkers I had bought to pay for a couple new car or at least slightly used ones. So, in 2006 I bought a car that was only three years old and barely had 40,000 miles on it. But along with this commitment I knew from then on it would mean trips to the dealership and maintenance bills.

Since then I have bought another slightly used car and RuthAnn bought hers new. So now my only auto repair work is the listen to the car when it tells me it is time for maintenance. I am happy about that and so are my knuckles. And as I sat here contemplating it struck me that maybe we, God’s creation have a ‘maintenance required’ warning that flashes in our minds if we are willing to see it.

Let me explain, here is what I am thinking. I think we are a lot like cars. Don’t quit reading, give me a minute to run this by you. We are like cars because God built us with the ability to run for years, if we do regular maintenance and care for our bodies. But I think the analogy ends there because unlike cars we have a soul that requires maintenance also. And for that tune up there is only one mechanic, the Holy Spirit.

The funny thing is today, there are all kinds of programs out there to maintain a healthy, good running body. And everyone who buys into these routines know it takes work and dedication to keep that body fit. And there are also a lot of books out there trying to sell ways to keep the soul fit. But I find a lot of these are trying to sell the idea you can take short cuts when it comes to soul maintenance. Most want to leave out or cut short the most important part, God’s Word, the Bible.

You see, every time I have tried to take a short cut the Holy Spirit has set off that ‘maintenance required’ warning, telling me I needed to spend more time in the Word, “For the Word of God is living and active, sharper than a two edged sword, piercing to the division of the soul and of the spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 3:12) It is only within these pages that I can find the answers that repair my soul and my connection with our Savior.

Before I finished writing, I received the good news that no extra maintenance was needed. And as I got back into the car I thought, am I not needing spiritual maintenance today or is the Holy Spirit saying, “My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart. (Proverbs 4: 20-21) I think that is exactly what He is telling me to do and like any good mechanic He is certainly offering this good advice.

Blessings and Happy Sabbath, John

4/20/18