Month: October 2018

As I said in my last blog, my time in Oregon gave me a chance to reflect but also to see that the Lord truly answers prayers. Today I want to share one of the amazing answers. During our discussions about marriage RuthAnn and I had to decide where we were going to live. She was and still is the head teacher and active 4th thru 8th grade teacher at the Wimbish Adventist School, in Macon Georgia. It is a vital ministry that continues to effect children and parents’ lives. That was on one side. I had decided to retire from being a construction Project Manager and work full time for the Lord. It seemed I could do that best in the churches where I was already established. Cave Junction church had even asked if I would be willing to be a lay minister in their church. Along with that I had a growing Soup Kitchen ministry and was seeking to join my best friend Larry in growing the Dorcas Community Service ministry at the Grants Pass Church. I also loved being Youth Sabbath School leader and heading the Fellowship Meal ministry. This all led to a lot of prayer and a hard decision.

In the end living in Georgia was both the ministerial and practical place for us to live. Of course, this meant the ministries I was working and leading in Grants Pass would need new leadership to move forward. Most of them I knew would have smooth transitions, leaders could and would be found. But the Soup Kitchen had been a tough ministry from the start. Maybe a little background will help you understand.

In a way it’s beginning was an answer to prayer. The man I mentioned earlier who is the Dorcas/Community Service leader at the Grants Pass Church, Larry, was looking for another way to connect with the public. And with much determination and effort Soup Kitchen was born. At the same time my wife Dianne and myself were seeking information on how to start a soup kitchen not knowing Larry was doing the same thing. But once we learned his was in operation we both volunteered immediately.

At the time it was being held on Thursday night and attendance was not good. In fact, it was so discouraging that it was decided to shut it down for the winter months or maybe forever. On the last night we all prayed and asked the Lord if this ministry was His will, if so send, I think it was six people.

If that happened, we would start back up in the spring. It did, and we shut down determined to do better next year.
But that did not happen. We did re-open in the spring. By this time, I was more or less leading the ministry just because I was a good cook and prepared most of the food. I tried many gimmicks, but nothing worked, we were to far away from downtown to attract homeless folks and so few showed up. So, discouraged once again in the fall we shutdown not knowing if it would be for good.

It was a burden on my heart. I knew God loved this ministry but I could not see how to make it work, so I prayed. During the next year’s 10 days of prayer, He answered. It was simple, hold soup kitchen on the day and at the time those in need would already be on the church grounds, Dorcas Tuesday, the day when food and clothes were given away. I told Larry and he got church board to agree, Soup Kitchen would now be every Tuesday from 11:00AM till noon. And when we did it God’s way it worked, people started to come. Ten and twenty at first. Then we averaged thirty to forty, sixty to eighty and into the hundreds. It was working but now I had to leave the ministry I nurtured and loved. Who would take over leadership?

At first it seemed no one was willing. It was a big commitment. But finally, a good woman who had worked with me during my time as leader came forward and took over as I was leaving. The ministry flourished even more under Rinann, she was a good cook and a good leader. With help from the Grants Pass SDA school volunteers it looked as if the ministry was solid. But life happens. Tragedies and hard times hit Rinann but she struggled on until recently when she informed Larry she had to step down. Again, it looked as if the Soup Kitchen was in trouble. Then another answer to prayer, Hector showed up.

He was the most unlikely of men. One Tuesday coming to Dorcas seeking help for his family, food just to help them get by. Hector himself had just come to the Lord, but he wondered how he could be of help to those willing to help him. Volunteering to work in the kitchen, it was soon found that he was a cook with much experience and amazingly could step right into the vacuum Rinann’s leaving would create and he has.

He and his hard-working family now run Soup Kitchen with efficiency and to record numbers showing up every week to share in Hector’s feasts that he creates. When I was there last Tuesday I saw the long line of answered prayers that had led to where the ministry is now, and I was overjoyed and humbled.
Jesus promised, “So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find, knock, and it will be opened to you. (Luke 11:9) For me the Grants Pass, Oregon- Dorcas/Community Service Soup Kitchen lives on as proof that anything we seek in God’s will, the answers will come, and they will be better than anything we imagined. Seek the Lord today in prayer, He is waiting for your knock!

Blessings John
10/31/18

We just returned from a week in my spiritual home, Grants Pass, Oregon. It was here that I had my final struggles with living in my addictions. Here where I came to know Jesus Christ as my Savior. On a more personal note. Here where I shared the last years of joy and sorrow with my deceased wife, Dianne. And here where most of my family still lives. So, upon returning there were times of joy and times of sadness.

I guess one of the mixed blessings about our time there was that we stayed at a place where no internet was available and even our cell service was limited. This meant we had to go back to basics when it came to communication and also meant I was not able to publish this blog more than once while we were gone. The blessing was that it gave me more time to reflect. For a week, I did not touch the keys of my computer and seek to share thoughts. I think it made me more contemplative and maybe more appreciative of certain aspects of my life I take for granted.

One thing is for sure the last week away from the keyboard and in my old stomping grounds filled me with enough thought and emotions to recharge my writing batteries and hopefully share some things that will lift up Jesus and maybe give a moment pause from your busy day. So, till I run out of juice I am titling the next blogs, “Thoughts from Oregon”, starting today with, “Miracle”.

We were able because of how our trip was set up attend both Grants Pass and Cave Junction SDA churches on the two Sabbaths we were in the area. Some of you know that Grants Pass is my spiritual birth place. I came in its doors still lost in addiction and filled with pain and rage and left there a transformed man. Cave Junction is my ‘recovering’ home. It was to this wonderful church and family that the Lord led me to and work with helping others struggling with life problems that kept them from a full relationship with God, sharing in the Celebrating Life in Recovery Program. I came there to share my testimony but stayed to join the program as both one in need of recovery and lead in recovery. It was in this church I believe this blog was born.

In Grants Pass the Lord led me to minister in Soup Kitchen, Fellowship Meal and Youth Sabbath School leadership. In Cave Junction I spoke for the first time from the pulpit and was blessed to be the speaker during a 21-day evangelistic series, “Unlock Revelation”. Both churches nurtured me as I grew from heathen to heaven-bound. And as we attended each church I was humbled and blessed to see that the fruits of labor that I shared in has blossomed. I will share some of those in future blogs, but today I want to share the most amazing, hence the title ‘miracle’. The subject of this does not know I am writing about him. But I am sure he will not mind, because I am sharing his transformation to inspire anyone who reads this.

His name is David. When I was the speaker of the Unlock Revelation series, I noticed him right away. He was sitting toward the back of the church with a woman I recognized and later would come to know as his mother. His hair was long, and his eyes were glassy. I knew he had been drinking without even talking to him. After each night’s session as I stood at the back of the church thanking those who had attended, he would shake my hand with a ‘shaky’ hand of his own. Thanking me and letting me know in unspoken words that he shared my addiction and wanted release.

We soon spent time together as each Sabbath during the series I led a Sabbath School class. I was amazed by his grasp of God’s Word and saw the struggle that went on inside him. As the series came to an end, during an appeal he came forward to declare he wanted to be baptized. I stood with my arm around him as he shook and cried, so did I. David even attended the baptismal classes I held for those who had come forward, but when the baptism day came he was not there. My heart was broken, but my prayers lifted him every day.

Last year we spent a few days in Oregon also. I spoke at the Cave Junction Church and sat with David at the Fellowship Meal afterward. He looked better, yet I knew, and he admitted that his struggles with alcohol were not ended. As I hugged him before we left the church I told him to keep praying and stay in the Word and to know he was always in my prayers. And as the last year has passed I never missed a day where I did not lift him to the Lord because I knew the good work that was being done, someday victory would come to David.

This year as we attended the Grants Pass Church, there he was. Dressed in a nice fitting suit, hair cut and eyes so clear and bright, they shone. As we hugged both of us were once again shaking and tearful but this time with joy and thanksgiving. David is not only sober, he is in a relationship with a wonderful, Godly woman and he is living for the Lord. Can I have an Amen. David is another miracle and I was allowed to be part of it. Nothing will ever humble me and bless me as much.

As we wiped our eyes and shook hands the thoughts of all the struggles and prayers washed over me and I knew that, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This was now true for both of us. We had been saved by the only power that can save completely, Jesus Christ. Miracles happen, my friends. Yours is only a prayer away!

Blessings John.
10/29/18

I hate it! I must have used the word ‘hate’ literally tens of thousands of times in my life. Hating anything from food that didn’t agree with me to people who didn’t agree with me. The word has flowed freely from my lips without much thought or bother.

But somehow now that seems wrong. I look back on my life and see that maybe I resembled that word when I used it. There are quite a few different incidents that come to mind but one stands out and is I think typical to how hate and hatred can rule who we are.

Back in the mid 1980’s my life had begun to unravel in ways I could have never imagined. Recently divorced from my first wife. Our relationship had settled into bitter contention. My son was stuck in the middle of this and was suffering the consequences of such a separation. On top of that I had lost control of my addictions which had been in check, more or less, for years. Now there seemed no reason to not indulge. And as I indulged, for the first time in my life hate and hatred became part and parcel of who I was. It was at this time that I met Tom.

There was nothing unusual how we met, both of us frequented a local watering hole, our neighborhood bar. We had a few things in common, drinking being one of them. But mostly we were diametric opposites. And as such we argued about everything. Politics, sports and even religion. You see Tom was an evangelical preacher. Some nights he would pick me out of the crowd and sit next to me, drunk as a skunk and talk about Jesus.

At that time, I had no use for Christians, especially what I saw as hypocritical ones who preached out of one side of their mouths while sucking up the booze with the other. But if they left me alone I did the same, Tom could not. And it all came to a head one night when I was already in a bad mood. Tom picked this night to preach me a sermon about the Prodigal Son.

I am sure most of you know the story from the gospel of Luke. A young man demands his inheritance from his father then goes about blowing it all on wine, women and song, as they say. Soon broke and starving he returns home to seek his father’s forgiveness and work as a servant. The father not only forgives but gives the right to be a son back to him. I love this story now, but back then it was the last thing I wanted to hear. And that night as Tom preached a deep hate arose in me and I punched him. Pushing through the crowd, I could hear him behind me shouting, “I forgive you, son! I forgive you!” There was no such emotion or feeling in my heart just blackness and hate. And from what happened that night I spread my hatred to every Christian I encountered. And it lasted for years.

One incident during a black time in my life led me to hate a whole group of people just because of one man that I had judged to be a hypocrite. And over the years many people who worked for me or around me paid the price of my hatred. Firing some, abusing others so badly they would quit, not wanting to listen to my foul epitaphs and blasphemies. All this begs the question, how did I get here? How did I get past my hatred and become one with those I had hated?

I would like to say it was an instantaneous miracle, but it was not. It was something much better. Many who have read this blog know that I originally began to read the Bible to keep peace in my household, but I never had any intentions of becoming a ‘Christian’. So, for almost two years I listened to or read God’s Word and without me really knowing it, there was a softening of my heart. I would read verses like, “Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8) or “Hate stirs up trouble, but love forgives all offenses.” (Proverbs 10:12) And I wanted it to be true. But I still had a problem, all Christians were a bunch of hypocrites, weren’t they? And now my wife wanted me to go to a church and be among them. Yikes! I was sure this was going to be the end of my ‘Christian experience’. But I was wrong.

In late 2010 I walked through the doors of the Grants Pass, Oregon Seventh Day Adventist Church and something amazing happened. Every person I met was down to earth and loving. There were no ‘Tom’s’ just a bunch of regular folks that loved Jesus. I must admit for the first couple of times it threw me into turmoil. I had hated these people for years and now I could not see why. Slowly I began to see that hate is just a lack of understanding and a whole lot of fear. I began to understand and want to exhibit what Jesus said, “But to you who are listening I say, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27-28) It takes His love through others and me also, giving it on to others I might struggle to like let alone love. But love CAN conquer hate.

I have never forgotten that lesson. When I look around at the deep hatreds which have developed because of opinions and rash judgement of each other, I just want to share what I have been blessed to see. My prayer is that someone who is hanging on to hatred today will read this and know we have a God who is love and a Savior who died for all, even that person you want to hate on today. Let it go and feel His love wash over you. You will be amazed at the joy it will bring!

Blessings John
3/19/18

“Honesty is the first chapter of wisdom.” -Thomas Jefferson
“No legacy is so rich as honesty.” -William Shakespeare
“Honesty is the best policy.” -Benjamin Franklin
“Honesty is such a lonely word everyone is so untrue.” -Billy Joel

Of the four quotes above, I have mostly related to the singer/songwriter Billy Joel when it comes to honesty. And I see in the world we live in that this is more of a reality then that of Jefferson, Shakespeare or Franklin. I guess this is nothing new, the Roman governor Pontius Pilate asked Jesus, “What is truth?” according to the gospel of John. But he like most of us did not see the truth when it stood right in front of him. When Jesus is not the, way, the truth and the life in our lives Pilate was right, anything becomes truth.

In the time I lived as a drug dealer, this was more evident to me than any other time in my life. The people that I surrounded myself with were liars, so I thought at the time. THEY were cheating me. THEY were cutting my drugs and robbing me blind. It was always THEY. But it did not seem to bother me that I used scales that were not calibrated, cheating the people I sold to out of the product they had paid for. I cut the drugs with baby laxative and other things, so I could keep more of the product for myself. In my head when I lied, cheated or raised prices to those who didn’t know any better it was just good business.

I wish I could say that my dishonesty was only doing business with dealers and druggies, it was not. That is the thing about having no moral center, not having Jesus or his Word in my life, honesty means only what I want it to be, what allowed me to come out on top. The thing was the more immoral and dishonest I became the less I really topped anything.

Yes, I made a good living lying as a project manager of construction companies. Doing anything that would make a profit for those that hired me. I had little problem treating the general contractors we worked for in the same way as those I cheated and lied to in the drug business. And in the same way I saw no wrong in it because, well, it was just business. THEY would do the same to me if they got the chance. I don’t know how many companies paid for my dishonesty, but I still think about it.

It was in my personal life that the immorality and dishonesty really took its toll. The problem will always be that you can not just turn these things on and off. If you are being dishonest in your dealings with strangers, you soon will come to treat your friends and family the same way, and I did. As I did, people I supposedly loved were hurt and worse lost all trust in my ability to be a father, a husband or even a friend.

I have had a tendency to blame how I was on my addictions. You know, that is the way people are who need that next ‘fix’ and would do anything to get it done; lie cheat, or steal. But while some of that may be true, I find that even in my sober life, getting over on somebody, or lying when the truth would serve me so much better still plagues me sometimes. I have had to pray and seek the Holy Spirit to show me why this is. Here is what I know.

Jesus said this, “You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44) There is not much more to add to this. If Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life and Satan is the father of lies, when I fall back into old patterns or seek to not live in God’s will I cannot help but be dishonest.

In our world today, politicians speak of ‘fake news’ or that a truth can be subject to political or religious persuasions. But honesty and truth cannot be subject to anything. It is simple, either our truth is totally based in Jesus Christ and his Word or it is not truth at all. So maybe Thomas Jefferson had it right, honesty is the first chapter of wisdom. Or the bard, Shakespeare, meant what he said, that there is no other legacy as rich as honesty. And I am positive that Franklin was spot on when he said, honesty is the best policy. But I think I will stick with God’s Word, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4: 8-9) When these are our thoughts and deeds, honesty is our wisdom, legacy and policy.

Happy Sabbath and Blessings,
John
10/19/18

Choices. I think when I look at my life it all comes down to choices I have made. I am sure some of you are thinking, “Well, duh!”, of course, it is all about the choices we make! But when someone has made as many bad choices as I have, it seems that life’s ‘could have’s’ come to mind more often than they should.

There is a song and if you are a Sinatra fan, like myself, I am sure you have heard it more than once, it was a favorite of his later years, ‘My Way”. Before I came to the Lord I used to identify with this song, especially the big finish lyric:

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things, he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way.

It is the way I felt about the choices I made in my life, basically saying to the world, if you don’t like it then lump it! I did it all my way. Of course, the problem with that is my way was choosing me over just about everyone else.

Sure, I did take some blows. But every one of them were generated by bad choices I had made. And today I look back and know it was because more often than not I chose to live in the shadow of my addictions. I am sure some of you will say, “That was not a choice, addictions are genetic or environmental.” Or something like that. And I am no shrink, so I cannot argue with you. I only know in my case there were choices I made that opened the door to a dependent life. I guess those are called seminal moments. One in particular stands out, but as you will see it really wasn’t a moment.

I have written in these pages that after my first divorce I made choices that were all wrong. When it came to my son, I chose to run once things got out of control and that choice had a ripple effect on everything else. I can’t say I actually remember making a choice like, ‘I choose not to make all efforts to keep my relationship with my son as a number one priority in my life.’ It was more like a little choice each day, today I choose to go to the bar and get blitzed, hence neglect my son. Or today I choose to buy that 8 ball of speed, I will party this weekend, I will see my son next weekend. So, it was like with many of my life choices not one major, bigtime, ah-hah moment. More like a hundred ones that ended up meaning I would have to run from a dealer who wanted what I did not have. I would have to hide in southern California and not contact my son until the trust in our relationship was gone.

I did it my way! And from that point compounded that bad choice into a thousand others, even though at that moment I could have chosen sobriety and face my problems. I did not. The how is complicated. But the why is simple and I have probably wrote it here many times, I had no faith and I had no hope.

If I have learned one thing on this life journey, it is we can live without a lot of things. We can live without fancy cars or homes. We can live without food and even live for a certain amount of time without water. But no one can live without hope. Now my atheist friends might want to argue this fact with me. I read recently that Stephen Hawking, the great theoretical physicist and atheist went to his grave denying there was such a thing as hope in God. But I have been in a place void of faith and void of hope, cursing God. Yet I can testify that even as I cursed him, he protected and kept me. As I made bad choices, he loved me as much as now I live to make good and holy ones. And the change in my life cannot be denied, not by me or the greatest minds that exist. That is why I no longer live without faith and without hope.

“Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:2-5) I so believe in these words today! That is a miracle in itself. When I read them, I see that choices God’s way, not my way, produce hope. It is a process and it does demand full faith and surrender to God, but man is it worth it. Because in the my ‘My Way’ as sung by old blue eyes, is a bunch of hooey. When I chose ‘God’s Way’ life is good, my friends and that is a choice I can live with!

Blessings John
10/17/18