As you might tell by the last few blogs that I was affected much by my visit to Oregon. There were many moments and experiences that led to reflect how my life has changed over the years. But how in some ways no matter how far you are from loved ones or how infrequently you see them, the moments shared together are full and fulfilling. I have mentioned more than once that I was not able to spend enough time with family because of several circumstances but I would be neglect if I did not write about what my family means to me and how our short time together had profound and lasting effects on my heart.
Many of you who have followed this blog know that my natural son and I are estranged. I always emphasis that it is not his fault, he was very young when I messed with his life and abandoned him to a world without me as a father to help him. This is my eternal burden and even though I have surrendered my pain and sin of this to the Lord. I still pray that the burden my boy carries will be lightened.
To my great blessing and for reasons only the Lord knows, I was provided a chance to be a father and grandfather to Dianne’s children. And in this I have to say I made a bad start of it. Again, through my addictions I was not the example of a man that I should have been for many years. But even as I was not, they accepted, nourished, and loved me. And I was able to watch my two beautiful granddaughters grow from babies into married young adult women who I adore. I also have to young grandsons in the Portland area that I wish I could get to know better. And if that is not enough, I have four great-grandkids that are growing so fast I cannot keep up with them. There are so many things I could share but it is my granddaughters who have over the years helped me see the wonder of God’s design and love for us.
You see my daughter and son-in law were not able to have children yet wanted so much to share their lives with them. Then two miracles happened. First Katelyn, then Alexander. Both adopted as babies, both more precious than you could ever imagine, and both so much of us that they even displayed traits that resembled both their parents and even more amazing, of their grandparents.
Katie is so talented and graceful. Like her grandmother, she showed early on a perchance for dance and by the time she was in high school was performing at a professional level. Blonde and beautiful, she even resembled her grandmother. Ali was an imp from birth. Funny and rugged she turned to gymnastics and later track where she succeeded at the highest competitive levels. Darker and with exotic beauty she was my equal for a good joke and laugh. In many ways she was like her papa John. But both were the love of their parents and grandparents’ lives. As adults they have both gone on to be responsible and loving people.
Katie married with two boys from a previous marriage and two of her own has proven to be a mother that loves her family with a Godly heart. It has not been easy. This world is not kind. She and her husband Dustin have struggled starting and working hard with their own business. But on this last trip home I saw the fruits of their labors are paying off. Katie has grown into a woman I am so proud of. And she showed that by surprising us, bringing the great-grandkids to the church fellowship meal on Sabbath just to give us extra time to spend with them. It touched both RuthAnn and I more than I can say.
Ali has been an inspiration to me. With a track scholarship ahead of her in high school, she was struck with a mysterious virus that left her with thyroid problems and neuropathy so severe that she could no longer compete at the level needed. For most that experience would have crushed them, but not my girl. She along with her husband Blake went to university and graduated with honors. I was blessed to be in the crowd the day they graduated! From that point her health has been a roller coaster and life has landed more punches, but she rises everyday and lives! I was only able to spend one brief night with her but the joy it brought lightens my heart even now as I write this.
I miss my family! There are problems that are occurring that I wish I could be there to comfort and assist in. But I was assured during this last trip that they are strong and will be ok. I believe more than anything my best assist for them all is to be here for them even if I am a continent away and to pray. Like all parents, that have total faith in Jesus, more than anything, I want my family to be together where it counts, in God’s kingdom to come. So today I pray, like every day: “Father, thank you for each one of my precious children. Lord, you know their hearts. You know their strengths, their weaknesses and every tiny detail about them. God, I pray that You draw them closer to You. Show them who You are. Let them see their need for you, Lord. Capture their hearts and fill them with Your Spirit. Lord, I pray that they would seek You above all else. That as they wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night, You would be on their minds and hearts. That everywhere they go and in everything they do, they would see You. In Jesus’ name, Amen
I miss and love my kids, grandkids and great-grandkids but this life is short, and as much as I would like being with them every day, I know we have a prayer answering God and I look forward to be with them forever! How about you and yours!
Blessings John, I love you kids and hope to see you soon,
11/5/18
