The rain had been steady since we had come on shift. Now 6 hours later I was soaked to the bone. Sure, I was wearing the company supplied rain suit, boots and rubber gloves but these had little impact on a winter downpour while working in the state of Washington. It did not help that the nuke plant I was working on was centered in the Olympic National Forest, one of the wettest places in the state and in my opinion, in the whole country.
It was what I had signed on to do when accepting a referral slip at the union hall in Tacoma. The business agent warned me as I turned over my ‘boomers’ card, “Listen, son, this ain’t like the Midwest. I know you guys draw a 3’ circle on the ground and if ten drops of rain hit it, your off to the bar. Here we work rain or shine and seeing it rains most days, we just work. You are either ok with that or don’t waste my time!” I had shrugged and gave him my best defiant look. He just shook his head in disgust and mumbled something like, “Another smart_ _ _ boomer, ok sign here and be onsite this afternoon at 4:00 PM. And make sure you are sober! You will be wet soon enough!”
Now 6 months later I had rarely seen a night when the rain did not fall. Even Mt. St. Helen’s eruption had not slowed the rain down. And as I peered up into it, trying to shade my eyes to see the load of rebar that was coming up via crane from the ground 30’ below us, I was despondent. Signaling the operator to bring the load down I could feel chilling water run down my extended arm, down my back and into my already soaked pants. There had to be a better way to make money! But as soon as I thought this, I knew no matter how much it rained I would keep working. I always had. Neither rain, sleet nor snow or drink, drug or both had kept me from being on the job. I had little in life I was proud of any longer, but I showed up and did the work!
At some point in my life, my job took center stage of who l was and how I judged myself when I looked in the mirror. When I would introduce myself, it would always be with the caveat, Ironworker. I may not even tell you my name, that wasn’t really important, but what I did for a living was all you needed to know.
I guess this stemmed from how my addictions stripped away most of the rest of my ‘self’. Once I had been a husband and a father. Those titles and the life that came with it were who I was for 8 years. Then through a messy divorce and the even messier lifestyle I assumed within two years all of that seemed to be washed away. In its place other titles, druggie, drunk, womanizer, loser, addict. I could not abide with any of these, true or not. I did not want to think they defined me. Feeling stripped of all except my profession I clung to it with desperate passion.
Sure, I tried marriage again and sought to be a father, yet these were haunted by my continuing addictions and seemed doomed to fail. But once on the job drunk or sober, high or not, I felt at home and safe. In fact, my addictions seemed to be honored more than despised it all went into the image of the hard working, hard drinking and hard brawling Ironworker. That was me. Take it or leave it was my motto. Most chose to leave it alone. I took what solace I could in it.
It wasn’t until 2009 when a moniker foreign to me was mentioned in the same sentence as my name that I began to see things could be different. Someone had called me a Christian. I scoffed at it! No way! Just because I have been listening to the Bible or because I read a few books about Jesus. I was still an Ironworker first and foremost, I would never be a Christian. Famous last words! I did not understand, “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12) Without me really knowing God’s Word was penetrating me and providing me with an attitude adjustment so deep that I would soon cherish the title, “Christian”!
In fact, it was so transforming that all of the pride and strength I once drew from my job was being drained away. I began to see that my dependency on alcohol and my profession were linked together. It would lead in 2016 to the biggest decision I would ever make, to leave my life as an Ironworker and claim my life as a Christian. To turn my life over to Christ and let Him now be my center.
I cannot say it was easy nor can I tell everyone of you it is what you need to do to be a true follower of Jesus. But for me it was the only way. A clean break. A new beginning. With the support of my loving wife RuthAnn the decision was made and today I can truly call myself by no other name except Christian.
I no longer deal with being soaked to the bone or frozen to the core. I no longer drink, drug and brawl and here is the reason, here is my new motto, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) This is my life now, you may not know me or my name but it is ok with me just refer to me as Christian. For Christ is the one who saved me!
Blessings,
John
1/21/19
