Month: April 2019

You’re going to have to serve somebody. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord but you’re going to have to serve somebody.” – Bob Dylan

“How much is this going to cost me?” I asked. It was around 4:00 PM Sunday and I was sitting across the table from my drug dealer. We had been there since I had gotten off swing shift, maybe 2:00 AM Saturday morning. The meth on the mirror between us was about gone and so was the half-gallon of Black Velvet whiskey. He didn’t look at me and just casually said, “Two Large.” I knew I was into him for quite a bit but that shocked me out of my haze. I looked at him and now he was staring at me with cold eyes, smiling. I tried to add up the parties of the last month and they all blurred together. Two thousand dollars, I didn’t have two thousand dollars! I said, “How much time do I have.” He smiled broader, “None, it’s pay day, brother!” I knew what was coming, he had been trying to get me to deal on the job site for him but I had refused. Now I was had. No choices left I begged him and he agreed I could work off my debt. You’re going to have to serve somebody!

From that moment, I became a drug dealer. The shock wore off soon enough. Before I knew it, I was ready to sell even to grade school kids, my son’s age. Yeah, once the choice is made, Satan becomes your master and nothing is out-of-bounds. And I wish I could say I had a revelation back then but I did not. I served him willingly. For over ten years I dealt leading people to destroyed lives. My best friend at that time, I introduced him to meth and became his dealer. He was a good guy with a nice family. Within two years he was divorced and pretty much living on the streets. I served Satan well.

I know a lot of people today think Satan is not real. Just another myth. But I am here to tell you he is real and if you are not serving the living God, you are serving him.

When I was first coming to belief in Jesus, I was given a book to read called “The Great Controversy”, I started to read it but I couldn’t believe what I was reading so I put it away. I picked it up again three years ago and this time my mind was ready, I know that I saw the world, it’s history and its future as it is for the first time. There is too much to write here on a blog page. But the book clearly describes the battle between God and Satan for our very being. It is available online. Take a look, it is pretty amazing.

But you do not need any other book than the Word of God to know the truth, look at what Jesus said in the Gospel of John, “You are of your father the devil, and you will do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8: 44). Pretty powerful stuff! Jesus tells the Pharisees that they are OF the devil. He is stating it clearly, if you are serving Satan you will end up being like him. When I agreed to deal drugs. I would lie, cheat and steal. I was serving the father of lying, cheating and stealing.

But, you know, there is another choice and that is to serve the living God. And in this choice there is no deception or lies. Just the act called repentance. The word repent has been given a bad rap when it simply means to turn away. When we turn away from Satan’s lies we turn to Him that is waiting for us to do just that. The book of Isaiah tells us, “Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God; there is no other.” (Isaiah 45: 22). When I did choose God, I found I could no longer do the things that came so natural and were so destructive. But there was more.

I repented and wanted to believe but Satan did not let go that easily. I struggled for 3 years. Could I really believe, could I trust God? Finally, it came down to Jesus. His words they became so powerful and clear, “Let your hearts be not troubled, trust in God and trust in me.” (John 14: 1) But the thing is He didn’t just say the words, he walked the walk. He went to the cross. He did what He said He would do! And He continues to do so right now as our advocate in the heavenly sanctuary. No lying here just plain truth. In the end trusting Him was a no brainer.

So, my friends, like me the choice is yours, you can serve Him who says: “I am the way, the truth and the life…” or you can serve the: “Liar and the father of lies.” But one thing is for sure Dylan had it right: “You’re going to have to serve somebody.”

Blessings John

4/29/2019

I was out of breath. It could be the thin air of Denver, Colorado or it could be that I smoked at least a pack of cigarettes a day. But either way I was gasping to stay in the game and was not succeeding.

It was a regular pick-up game on the courts near my house, not far from where Denver’s airport is now. Basketball was my game 10 years ago, in high school, but now I was in a game where most of the players were the age I was back then, and I was the ‘old man’ and this day I was resembling that remark. Slow and breathing hard, I could not keep up with the kid I was guarding.

I called for a break and the kids all chuckled, “Yeah, let’s let the old man take a break, he looks like he is ready to croak.” I shook my head and gave them a dismissing wave. But they were right. How did I go from playing ball for hours at a time to not being able to play for a half hour? As I sat down near my car, opening the cooler that held a six-pack of Coors beer, I knew the answer. Popping the top on the beer, it was too many of these and way too many cigarettes. But what the heck, I wasn’t a kid anymore. I had nothing to prove. At least I could still play with these young punks, I thought.

As I sat there one of the kids came over and sat next to me. He was eyeing the beer and I had an idea that he wanted to ask for one. The law in Colorado at the time allowed drinking of 3/2 beer at the age of 18 but I was pretty sure this kid was 16 maybe 17. I didn’t say or do anything. I just sipped on my beer and waited. He didn’t ask for a beer but seemed intent on something else. What did he want? I wasn’t in the mood for a heart to heart talk. Soon he spoke.

“You used to play back in high school, didn’t you? Most of the guys think your still pretty good for an old guy.” All of 26 and I was already the ‘old guy’ life wasn’t fair. I nodded my head but said nothing. He continued, “Did you ever play college ball? I have had a few scouts from some local schools UCD, and others come to scout me out. But I don’t know if I want to do an athletic scholarship. I am planning to go to a theological college in Kansas.” With that he was quiet, I guess waiting for me to make a comment, so I did. “No, I never played ball in college. I was a pretty good high school player, but I knew I didn’t have what it took to play at that level. But you, yeah, I think you have the goods. Why not put that theology stuff on the back burner or go to a college that has both ball and the studies you want?”

He looked away, with a serious expression. Then he turned to face me and said, “No, my dad and mom really have their heart set on me being a minister, like my dad. They are afraid if I go to a big school, I will get all involved in college life and forget about God.” Wow, I thought, an awful lot to lay on a kid! Being a Catholic dropout, I thought I was not the right guy to give this boy advice, but I said anyway, “Do you really want to be a minister? Maybe a few years in college will clear it all up for you. You seem kinda young to be committing your life to something you’re not sure about.” He nodded but then was distracted by the other kids wanting to get back at it. I guzzled my beer and wearily headed back to the court; glad I didn’t have to face the stuff this youngster did.

Decisions. Everyone of us from the time we come of age have had to make decisions that would affect our lives for years to come. I made many in my teens and early twenties from which

I am still feeling the repercussions. My problem, as I have stated here many times, was that I did not have a relationship with God the Father. I did not know the saving power of Jesus Christ and I could not rely on the guiding light of the Holy Spirit. I made these major decisions alone with my limited years of experience and lack of knowledge of the world we live in. And I can tell you that as I fell into that pattern, I made one mistake after another. And as I did that, I became more and more lost in a world of hopeless anguish. And, of course, hurt many people a long the way.

Today I am writing to those who probably never read this blog. I want to tell our youth that this is the day, if they do not already have it, to seek a relationship with Jesus Christ. But if a young one reads this or not it is our job, as those who have experienced life and know what Jesus can do, to encourage our youth. And maybe today share with a youngster you know one or two of these Bible promises:

When they are unsure of their future: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

When they are afraid and feeling depressed: “So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

When they are working for the Lord and feel discouraged: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

When they just feel this world is an overwhelming place: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

There are so many more that we can encourage with. And yes, they are meant for us too, but so needed by our forgotten youth. Today could be the day one of them you know is trying to make a life decision, do not let them do it alone. Open the door of the Holy Spirit for them, it could mean life or death!

I certainly did not do that for the youth back years ago. We played ball together several times after that but never really talked again. I pray he made a decision guided by the Holy Spirit. I feel so sad for all the young I have failed to lead to the Word, including my own son. But it is a new day and there is hope, may we share Jesus with one of his children today!

Blessings
John
4/24/19

My father was dying. The call from my brother left no doubt of that. As I sat contemplating it, I could not truly say how I felt about it. It was true over the last few years we had grown closer. Before cancer had taken most of the life out of him, we had talked on the phone every few weeks. You know, just regular conversations. Mainly about construction work and what projects I was working on. Dad always wanted to hear about the rough and tumble stuff. But also, because we were living in Salt Lake City, Utah at the time and doing genealogical research on my wife’s family, I had asked him to send me some basic info about our family so I could look into it. The results had fascinated him. I guess you could say we were becoming father and son again. It had not always been that way.

After my mother passed away in 1973, Dad had gone to pieces. For him that looked like months of drinking to a point of suicidal thoughts and actions. Many a night I would receive a call I dreaded, my father slurring threatening words about the gun he had in his hand. I would drive the 10 miles of back roads to his cabin out past National Mine, Michigan just to find him passed out in his chair. Gun laying in his lap. I did everything to get that gun from him. But it was almost like he had a sixth sense. Whenever I would reach for it, he would awaken. No wrestling the gun away from my 270-pound father. It could not go on and it didn’t.

One day he announced a trip to Chicago. This meant leaving the restaurant for a short period in my care. We owned a family restaurant at the time in Ishpeming, Michigan. I figured I could handle working construction during the day and taking care of opening and closing the place for a short while, we had good people working for us. But the short trip lasted months and for a kid like myself, not even 20 years old, things were getting stressful. Then my world changed again. My dad was getting married, and to someone we all knew, my sister’s mother-in-law. I won’t even get into what kind of strain that put-on family relationships.

As for me, I felt almost a relieve. Dad returned home with his new wife and took back control of the restaurant. That was ok until I was told that I no longer would be part owner of the place. My name had been added after the death of my mother and now my name was being removed to be replaced by dad’s new wife. I have to tell you it hurt. For over a year I believed I  had held him up and kept the restaurant from going under, without so much as a hand shake, now I was out. Things went from bad to worse from there. Until by the time I moved south to work on a nuke plant my dad and I barely spoke to one another. And for years it went like that.

My life became a complex of moves and confusion. Alcohol, the family curse, began to take its toll on me. My father’s life changed too. The restaurant was sold eventually and soon he was settled into a community near Orlando, Florida. We saw each other briefly during the years I lived in California when he came out to visit family. We didn’t speak much. I really did not think of him as my father anymore.

Yet along the way, I became a father myself and I was a good one for a short period of time. I would think I will be a better dad than my old man. But the truth came, and it hurt, I was not. I could not do what he had. Through the struggle of raising not one but four kids and struggling with his addictions somehow, he held it together. No, he wasn’t a real-life version of ‘Father Knows Best’ but knowing first hand the demons he wrestled with,  I began to see, my father did a pretty good job. And in those bi-weekly talks we had, I wanted to ask him how.

I was blessed to visit him in Florida with my brother and sister during his extended fight with colon cancer. We finally did have those talks and he tried to assure me one day I would find the strength to conquer my demons. Looking at him then, the once bigger than life man, who had eroded to a skeletal figure. It hurt to see him. But under his fear being near death I saw he had a certain peace. I was also blessed by my siblings who packed dad’s household up and moved it to California in his last days. My sister nursing him and loving a man she also struggled to find peace with. And on his very last day, my brother had a friend of his fly to St George, Utah from San Diego and back just so I could be at his bedside when he died. Can I ever thank him enough? I will let all you answer that.

Dad died in 1995. I was still buried in my own addictions and he did not live to know me as a saved man. But as with my mom, who died so long ago, I believe I will see him in the kingdom. He made his peace with the Father, as I have and along with so many other will be there on that glorious day when: “. the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16). What a day that will be! Remember you dad and mom today, those folks who raised you, biological or not, maybe whisper a word of thanks!

Thank you, Raymond Thomas Weston, I know you are now sleeping in Christ waiting his soon coming. I will see you then!

Blessings
John
4/17/19