“I am the fastest man alive!” I screamed as I raised my hands above my head. Some in the overcrowded bar were laughing and others just shook their heads. But one guy on the other side shouted back, “That can’t be because I have been told that I am!”
It was 1:30 on a Saturday morning. The bar was crowded with swing shift workers who had just pulled their last shift for the week. I was drinking double shot and beers with my Ironworker crew. We had been bragging about our school days. Most everyone had one kind of boast or another. My buddy Terry who was big enough to take up two bar stools had been a lineman for Pacifica University, everyone knew how strong he was and deferred to him as the ‘strongest man alive.’ Others had claims of agility or strength. But I was claiming speed. I was long legged and thin as a rake. I had been a runner and in my drunken state bragged I had never been beaten. Now from the other end of the bar came a challenge.
As I looked at the young guy who was now smiling broadly at me, my anger rose. “Who does he think he is?” I mumbled to myself. Then thought, “Just leave it alone, just bar talk.” But I couldn’t, my pride was up and I could not stay quiet. I yelled above the din, “Listen, friend, you don’t know who you are talking to. I don’t want to show you up in front of your pals, but you look like a carpenter and I have never lost at anything to a carpenter. I think you just need to back off.”
He wasn’t about to do that. In fact, he and his friends were now pushing their way through the crowd heading towards us. Soon, he and I were face to face, the smirk was still there as he now spoke boldly and full of his own pride, “I really don’t want to embarrass you in front of this whole crowd, but I think we need to settle this.” All of a sudden, I was very tired, the week had been long and I was living on booze and speed. The this was the last thing I needed right now. But again, my pride wouldn’t let me back down. I said more boldly than I felt, “Ok, then, how about you and I do it right now, the alley behind this joint is probably empty let’s see what you are made of.” He just smiled broader, “You’re on!”
I sometimes cringe thinking about my life strung out and booze loaded. Here I was a guy who was completely out of control yet had this arrogance and pride about being a self-made man. Have you heard that phrase ‘self-made man or woman’? I think a lot of us, especially here in the USA, believe that pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps is a virtue. I sure know I was taught that as a kid. “Be your own man.” “Stand on your own two feet.” “Take pride in yourself.” Most of what I was taught centered on the ‘me, myself and I’ words. And to tell truth, I could never live up to it and every time I failed, my life would go into a tailspin. Usually that would entail more drugs and more alcohol.
The saddest thing is that I even took pride in my addictions. I was the guy who when everyone else was doing two lines of speed, I would do four. If you and I were drinking together even that would become a competition. My life was a mess but I was proud because I made it work every day. I remember sitting in AA meetings and listening to the ‘losers’ talking about how they couldn’t hold a job because of their habit. Smug, I would think, “I can take it or leave it, but unlike you bums, I hold down a job no matter what.” Pride and arrogance were the fuel that stoked my fires, nothing good came out of it.
“In his pride the wicked man does not seek Him, in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” (Psalm 10:4) When I first read this, I was struck by its truth. Our world and most of its religions teach a self-centered and selfish dogma that leaves no room for God. But this should not be true for Christ followers.
One day on a mountainside Jesus said these words, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Mathew 5:3) Poor in spirit. Some have argued if Jesus was just talking about physical poverty but I see so much more in these words. The poverty of the spirit Jesus is speaking of is so revolutionary that it can change the world. Even more, it can change your life and mine. He is speaking of true humility. The other centered love that is found only in the cross of Jesus Christ.
Nowhere else can love based on total humbleness be found. Jesus, the son of God, came to this world lowly and willing to die just to save you and me. And he calls on us to take up our cross and follow him. And strange as it may seem to the world, it is the answer to all our problems.
Think of it. In this world of in fighting. Side against side. It is pride, so much like that of Satan in his original rebellion, that we find polarizing the last day earth as it did the first couple. Jesus calls us to let go of earthly pride and seek a poorer spirit. Here is how the Apostle Peter says it, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him because He loves you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7) If we are seeking peace here and in heaven’s kingdom will need to start with a submissive and humble heart.
I lost that race. Drunk and full of the pride of this world, I crossed the line a foot and a half behind my rival. As many things did during those years I refused to be gracious in loss but sought vengeance in other ways. Today I still struggle with a prideful heart. The difference is now I realize I have a Savior who already died a humble death to save me. I cannot stay proud for long in the face of that love. I pray today I will have the spirit of the tax collector of Luke’s Gospel and with him say, “God have mercy on me a sinner.” (Luke 18:13) May we all seek a “poorer spirit” in Jesus, it could change everything. It has changed me.
Blessings John
10/23/17