I wanted a drink. It had been two weeks and it was now a Friday, I should be able to have just one. I pulled into the liquor store parking lot and watched people going in and out. I sat there with my car running and every bone in my body screamed for me to get in there and buy a fifth of Black Velvet, I could almost taste it. Just one drink, that would be it.
I turned off the car and headed into the store. I knew right where the whiskey section was and found myself standing in front of gleaming bottles of amber fluid. As I reached out my hand was shaking and my throat was dry. Grabbing the fifth of Black Velvet, I moved to the counter to pay. Just one drink, no more….
I woke up Saturday morning and the empty bottle was sitting on the table next to the bed. I rolled on my side so I would not have to look at it. I had failed again. The guilt and shame was weighing on me. I wondered for the hundredth time in my life why I could not control my drinking. I buried my head in the pillow.
Later that day, I found an AA meeting. Walking in I sat in the back of the large room below the Catholic Church on 5th Street. As 7:00 pm approached people came in and milled around the coffee pot. The smell of cigarettes and coffee filled the room. A large man sat down next to me and I lifted my head to look. “Why did this dude have to sit next to me?” I thought. But I hung my head back down, l really didn’t care.
At 7:00 the meeting started and soon people were testifying. I had heard it all before. Never any different, “Hi, my name is whoever and I am an alcoholic, then a sob story. “Why am I here?” I grunted and was about to leave when the guy next to me stood up. I slumped back in my seat. I couldn’t leave now everyone in the room was looking at this guy. So, there I sat.
He began like everyone, “Hi, my name is Brian and I am an alcoholic.” The crowd sang back to him in unison, “Hi Brian.” He seemed to hesitate and then said, “I have been sober now for two years. But I never knew true sobriety until I came to know and accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. Today I want to tell you all that I believe it is only through Him that any of us can gain victory.” I listened shaking my head, “Oh brother, let me out of here.” I thought, as he continued to speak. No longer listening or caring about what people thought I headed into the night, believing Brian was a fool. It would take another 25 years of addicted living before I would believe, and know God sat him next to me so I would hear the truth and remember.
Once long-ago Peter, a fisherman by trade, stood before the most learned and holy men of his age. He had just healed a man and these men wanted to how this was possible. He said this to them, “This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4: 11-12)
By no other name must we be saved. It was true then and it is true now. Whether it be a crippled man with twisted legs or a drunken man with a twisted heart unless we are willing by faith to call on Him, there is no real healing. And in all these pages that I have written or will ever write, I can show the truth of this to one person I will think it is enough.
You see, I left that room below the church that night and immediately found another liquor store and proceeded to drink. I felt I was alone, do you know that feeling? And no matter where I went, work, in relationships and not. I still was alone and could not overcome the things that limited my life. It was not until I opened the Word of God and believed that the One who died for me could also save me from myself that I found victory. And in that victory real joy.
I don’t want you to get a pie in the sky feeling from this, because that is far from true. I still struggle every day. But the difference is I know now I am not alone. One of the coolest verses in the Bible says this, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” (1Corinthians 15:10) That is my prayer every day, that I will call upon Him and let Him direct my path.
Years ago, God wanted me to know His Son was sent to save me and I was not willing to listen. Today if you are reading this and feel you are alone, I offer that same hope to you, because today I can say like Brian did in that smoke-filled room, “Hi, my name is John and I am an alcoholic. I have never known true sobriety until I was met by the Savior and it is in His name I have been saved…. Thank you Jesus!”
Blessings John
7/28/
By no other name but Jesus…
