The score was tied 104 a piece. As I watched the TV above the bar I could feel the sweat rolling down my spine. I needed this win! I told myself again, “If this bet pays off I am out, no more.” The Lakers scored and my heart leaped. 35 seconds on the clock. Boston took a time out. I became irritated again, I felt a true hatred for Boston and especially Larry Bird. It was his fault I was now into my book for a grand.
As the teams lined up, Boston took the ball out at half court. A long pass into Kevin McHale. Bird is out beyond the 3 point line and Michael Cooper was on him. Breaking free, he had the ball. A shot. It is off the rim. Jabbar grabbed the rebound and is fouled. I am on my feet, as is almost all the LA crowd in the San Fernando Road bar. 10 more seconds and I will be back in the money. Odds makers had Boston winning this and even after paying off my losses I will be up nearly $750. Yeah, in the money!
Jabbar is now at the free-throw line and misses the first of two foul shots. “No!” I scream as he misses the second. Like most of the crowd I am swearing at a man who only moments ago was a hero. I hear comments around me, “What a bum, I think it is time for that clown to retire!” Comes from the guy on my left and I nod in agreement. I need this win.
Another time out for Boston. Waiting, I consume the whiskey and coke in front of me and hold my glass up for another. The bartender fills it without taking his eyes of the set. With sweat now on my brow I watch as Boston sets up. A long inbound pass finds Bird, he shoots a 3 pointer….
Among the many compulsive habits that consumed my life, gambling was one that I really struggled with. As my addictions became more expensive I started to feel the pinch for money, even though I worked steadily and was dealing drugs, there never seemed to be enough. So at first it was a small bet on a sure thing. A 9 to 1 favorite at the track. A basketball game between the mighty Lakers and lowly pre-Jordon Chicago Bulls. The profits weren’t much but I loved that ‘winning’ feeling. And like with most compulsions, my gambling habit progressed.
After my first divorce in the early 1980’s. I moved in a large apartment with 5 other Ironworkers. We were all working at the Satsop Nuclear Power Plant in Elma Washington. One of the guys there was always taking trips to Reno on the weekends. It seemed so easy. The casino actually had a plane waiting at Sea-Tac airport. Show up with $1000 dollars or more and a free trip to the tables.
Soon I was at the craps table at least once a month. If not there at the dog track in Portland or just placing a bet with the local book. Easy money. And for a while it worked. I was winning or at least staying even. But by the time of the telling of this story I was in a cycle of win/loss that was eating up my life. Like alcohol, I could no longer control it.
The one thing I have found since turning my life over to the Lord is that all addictions have one thing in common, I call it self-absorption. Always all about me. That is why I have stated in prior blogs that you can go through cessation programs and they can help you change or check your addictive habits. But only One can end that habit and break that cycle forever, Jesus Christ.
A famous verse in the Bible puts it this way: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted He will also provide a way out so you can endure it.”(1Corinthians 10: 13-14) Only God through His son Jesus can provide the strength that is needed for me today not to place that bet or take that drink. And the kicker is that as I trust in this I find I no longer am looking in but looking out for others
That is miracle of becoming a follower of Jesus, we become more like Him. And being like Him means we get a share in the most used word in all languages, love. But not the love of soap operas, no it is the agape love we see He showed us in His word, like this: “Dear friends, let us love on another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God. Whoever does not love does not know God. For God is love.”(1John 4: 7-8) That is the grace of God through Jesus that even when we are still sinner that we can share in this kind of love. And as we do, we can’t help but share that love with others.
…as the ball goes through the net, I am crushed. Deeper in the hole. Where will I get the money to pay? I rushed out of the bar into the Los Angeles night. Years of misery lay ahead, but at that moment nothing and no one mattered. I was lost in my life of addictions. I can look back now and if I let myself, feel all the pain and regret. But instead, today I will give thanks because as I write this, I know I am a child of God! Saved not by a single thing I have done but by the blood of Jesus Christ. Now a days I know a good bet when I see one and I am giving you the inside scoop, put everything you have on the Savior, you can’t lose!
Blessings John
6/14/17