I awoke in the darkness with pain in my back that radiated into my chest. As I sat up, I could tell something was wrong. From over my shoulder I heard my wife ask sleepily “Are you ok?” I sat silent for moment then said, “I don’t know what is going on.” I knew that was not an answer and tried again. “I have this pain in my back and I just can’t sleep.” She began to rub my shoulders and back and when she reached near the middle I winced and said, “That is the place!” As she massaged it I could tell that it was not a muscular thing in fact the pain radiated even more. Also there was a general feeling of heaviness which settled about my shoulders, “What was going on?” After talking about it some more and taking a few ibuprofens, I tried to settle down and get some sleep. My wife slept restlessly next to me but I could only lay there and worry.
We were in Texas and pretty close to 1000 miles from home. Our plans had us leaving for Wyoming Thursday morning and being at the ‘dino dig’ by mid Friday morning. I knew we had altered our original plans several times already, cutting short the time we would spend at the dig and eliminating our visit to Oregon. Now this. All these thoughts seem to add to the feeling of unwellness. What was going to happen?
Why in times of distress do I not seek the Lord? Repeatedly I have found myself relying on the limited perception I have and not opening myself to the unlimited the power that the Creator of all things can give.
God’s favorite comforting message to us in His word is, “Don’t be afraid.” I have heard it said that it is repeated 365 times, one for each day of the year. Maybe that should be a hint to me and you too.
I read this recently on a website called crosswalk.com, “Fear. One of the enemy’s most popular weapons that he uses against us. Worry, anxiety, fear…can overwhelm us with a thick shadow of darkness, controlling our every move and decisions.” The site also adds ways to combat this, saying “I read words of life- of truth. Soaking them in over and over, praying them aloud. Until they become so familiar, they replace the other things in my mind that I battle against. There’s nothing magical about words and verses, but there is power through them, because they are God’s words.”
Filling our mind with God’s Word, that is the answer. So, the question becomes, “Why do I still find myself struggling every time I am challenged in my life. I read His word every day. I seek to fill my mind with His promises daily also. Then why?
I found a pretty good answer further along in the crosswalk.com page. “His words are ‘life’ words, soothing to our soul, calming to our spirits, giving power to our days.
But it is not always easy, and it often comes down to a choice.
Choosing not to allow fear and anxiety to control your life.
Choosing to guard your heart.
Choosing to focus your mind on what is truth in the midst of uncertain times.
We might feel afraid, but we can believe that God is with us. We may not be in control, but we can trust the One who is. We may not know the future, but we can know the God who does.”
We can choose to trust. It comes down to relationship, our relationship with the Creator. Do we believe, do I believe these words? “So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 4:10)
I saw a doctor later that day and was sent to a local hospital for extensive testing of my heart. I praise God that all the results were negative and even though I had to spend a night in the hospital we made the decision to continue with our trip and I am sitting in front of our tent near Newcastle, Wyoming celebrating the Sabbath among other believers. It is my prayer that I will turn the next trial over Him and listen as He says, my son, do not fear.” May you do the same.
Blessings John
6/26/17