There was an accident up ahead. From where I sat I could see the flashing lights of emergency vehicles in the distance. As I looked in my rearview mirror, I could see that traffic was backed up for miles. The 410 around Sepulveda Pass was always a parking lot at 4:00 pm but now this. I looked at my watch and I knew I was going to be late for the dinner meeting I had made with a business client, not a lot I could do about it. As traffic edged a little forward, I decided when I made it to the next ramp I would get off and find the nearest bar, call Jack, and maybe wait this out while having a few drinks.
In about 15 minutes I was moving off the freeway and through the streets. As I approached a stop light I saw a bar that was lit up and the parking lot was full. “Hmm.” I thought “a bunch of folks who were thinking the same thing as me.” As I entered the dimly lit and smoke-filled room, I found a place at the end of the bar. I ordered a double martini and saw the pay phone was not too far away. After calling Jack. I settled in, no used to be in a hurry now.
I was sipping on my drink and trying, as I did to mind my own business. But I could not help but hear the conversation from the stools right next to me. I glanced sideways, trying not to be obvious. The couple was young and both seemed to be business types, suits, and expensive dress wear. Handsome people but now their faces were twisted in anger and in low tones a war was going on.
“I need to move my things out today, Tony! We have been over and over this but you never seem to hear me.” The woman said with anger. The man, whom I assumed was Tony replied, “Listen, Becca, I know what you have said but I know there is some way we could make this work.” I could see he looked both dejected and desperate. None of this seemed to affect the woman I now knew as Becca. She looked straight ahead and just answered in one word, “No!” Tony hung his head and they settled into an uncomfortable silence.
Listening to the couple reminded me of my own troubles with relationships. At this time, I had been married and divorced twice and was in a marriage that was rocky, to say the least. It seemed like I was seeking love and companionship but could not find what I sought. It was a puzzle I could not solve.
Marriage and relationships, for sure the confusion I felt was not new nor is it only found in this age we live in. Listen to what the wise Solomon had to say, “There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of the snake on the rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man and a young woman.” (Proverbs 30:18-19) It seems we have always found intimate love of another person difficult and many times impossible. Yet God did not intend it to be this way.
In the beginning, God created man and woman, “The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones; and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called ‘Woman’. Because she was taken out of Man. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2: 22-24). God intended for a man and a woman to be one. So, what happened, why the struggle. I think we only have to look in the next chapter of Genesis to find the answer.
It is a story that probably everyone knows. The serpent and the forbidden tree. If you have forgotten, take a look at Genesis Chapter 3: 1-10. Here is the short version. The serpent asks Eve if God has restricted them from eating from the fruit of all the trees in the garden of Eden. Eve responds by saying, not all the trees, just the one in the midst of the garden. The serpent, better known as Satan, then convinces Eve that God is holding out on them. If they eat the fruit of that tree they will be just like God, knowing both good and evil. They eat. Immediately things change. Their relationship with each other changes, because their relationship with God changes. You can see it right away in verse 11, “And God said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from? The man said, “The woman you put her with me – she gave me some of the fruit of the tree, and I ate it.” “Then God said to the woman. “What have you done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” Do you see it? Adam is blaming God for the woman and Eve is blaming the serpent. Does it remind you of an argument you might have had with your spouse lately, it is sometimes called ‘The Blame Game’ and I have been there more times than I would like to admit.
The long and short of it is sin was brought into the world and with it came the struggles with love. Mankind no longer could have that one to one relationship with God, with that we lost our ability to love each other perfectly. Sounds pretty hopeless, doesn’t it? But wait there is more, there is hope.
Only a few verses later in Genesis God makes the first and best promise to us, One, would come who would crush the head of the serpent. One who would free us from the burden of sin. A promise that was kept in Jesus Christ, here is our hope, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3: 16) Perfect love, God’s love is still available for us today and if we base our relationships on that love, it is a game changer.
Some of you know I was recently married and the one thing people ask RuthAnn and myself, “Have you had your first fight yet?” We just smile. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but the God we base our love on is. Day to day we turn our trials and frustrations over to Him because we realize there is one who already has died to save us and trust in that. It works.
Many years ago, in the bar, the couple left in a terrible silence. I knew their lives would be filled with pain. I wish now I had been able to offer them some hope. My prayer is today, I have offered some to you
Blessings John
7/24/17
Love based on God’s love…it works
