Lost now Found

You’re going to have to serve somebody. It may be the devil or it may be the Lord but you’re going to have to serve somebody.” – Bob Dylan

“How much is this going to cost me?” I asked. It was around 4:00 PM Sunday and I was sitting across the table from my drug dealer. We had been there since I had gotten off swing shift, maybe 2:00 AM Saturday morning. The meth on the mirror between us was about gone and so was the half-gallon of Black Velvet whiskey. He didn’t look at me and just casually said, “Two Large.” I knew I was into him for quite a bit but that shocked me out of my haze. I looked at him and now he was staring at me with cold eyes, smiling. I tried to add up the parties of the last month and they all blurred together. Two thousand dollars, I didn’t have two thousand dollars! I said, “How much time do I have.” He smiled broader, “None, it’s pay day, brother!” I knew what was coming, he had been trying to get me to deal on the job site for him but I had refused. Now I was had. No choices left I begged him and he agreed I could work off my debt. You’re going to have to serve somebody!

From that moment, I became a drug dealer. The shock wore off soon enough. Before I knew it, I was ready to sell even to grade school kids, my son’s age. Yeah, once the choice is made, Satan becomes your master and nothing is out-of-bounds. And I wish I could say I had a revelation back then but I did not. I served him willingly. For over ten years I dealt leading people to destroyed lives. My best friend at that time, I introduced him to meth and became his dealer. He was a good guy with a nice family. Within two years he was divorced and pretty much living on the streets. I served Satan well.

I know a lot of people today think Satan is not real. Just another myth. But I am here to tell you he is real and if you are not serving the living God, you are serving him.

When I was first coming to belief in Jesus, I was given a book to read called “The Great Controversy”, I started to read it but I couldn’t believe what I was reading so I put it away. I picked it up again three years ago and this time my mind was ready, I know that I saw the world, it’s history and its future as it is for the first time. There is too much to write here on a blog page. But the book clearly describes the battle between God and Satan for our very being. It is available online. Take a look, it is pretty amazing.

But you do not need any other book than the Word of God to know the truth, look at what Jesus said in the Gospel of John, “You are of your father the devil, and you will do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8: 44). Pretty powerful stuff! Jesus tells the Pharisees that they are OF the devil. He is stating it clearly, if you are serving Satan you will end up being like him. When I agreed to deal drugs. I would lie, cheat and steal. I was serving the father of lying, cheating and stealing.

But, you know, there is another choice and that is to serve the living God. And in this choice there is no deception or lies. Just the act called repentance. The word repent has been given a bad rap when it simply means to turn away. When we turn away from Satan’s lies we turn to Him that is waiting for us to do just that. The book of Isaiah tells us, “Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God; there is no other.” (Isaiah 45: 22). When I did choose God, I found I could no longer do the things that came so natural and were so destructive. But there was more.

I repented and wanted to believe but Satan did not let go that easily. I struggled for 3 years. Could I really believe, could I trust God? Finally, it came down to Jesus. His words they became so powerful and clear, “Let your hearts be not troubled, trust in God and trust in me.” (John 14: 1) But the thing is He didn’t just say the words, he walked the walk. He went to the cross. He did what He said He would do! And He continues to do so right now as our advocate in the heavenly sanctuary. No lying here just plain truth. In the end trusting Him was a no brainer.

So, my friends, like me the choice is yours, you can serve Him who says: “I am the way, the truth and the life…” or you can serve the: “Liar and the father of lies.” But one thing is for sure Dylan had it right: “You’re going to have to serve somebody.”

Blessings John,

11/18/19

Six o’clock could not come soon enough! Was it Saturday or Sunday? Far as I could figure we had been on 7/10’s for over two months now and like happens when you work seven days a week, ten hours a day, neither days nor time have much relevance. All I wanted now was to find the closest liquor store and get me a fifth of whiskey and a 6 pack of malt liquor. Then head to the motel and clean this grime off of me. Food just wasn’t that important, but I sure needed a drink.

After getting the supplies at the liquor store, I pulled into the motel parking lot, but something was not right, cops were everywhere and there was an ambulance sitting almost directly in front of my door. What was going on? Trying to pull my truck into the parking lot around all the commotion, a cop stopped me and said, “You can’t come in here right now this is a crime scene.” As he was saying this, he was whirling his arm the direction I just came in, directing me out. When I didn’t back up, he drew closer to the window and said, “Hey, buddy, didn’t you hear what I said? I need you to get this vehicle out of here. No one is allowed to enter.” As he approached closer, I said, “Yeah, I heard you but that is my room and I need to get some sleep, 4:00 AM comes pretty quick. What am I supposed to do?”

All of a sudden, he seemed to have more interest in me. Looking closer at my truck, then going around to check out my license plate, he said, “Are you one of the construction workers staying here?” Now I felt a shock of fear run through me. Was all of this about one of my crew mates? Trying to think if anyone was missing onsite today or if someone had left early. No, all were accounted for, but still… Reluctantly I said, “Yeah I am here with four other guys, what is going on?” He told me to park my truck over in a vacant lot close to the motel, the Sergeant would probably like to talk to me. This was getting worser and worser.

Parking the truck, he came back with what looked like a plain clothes cop and before I could get out of my truck, he leaned into the window and said, “Could I see your ID, sir?” When I reached for my wallet, he spoke again, “Slowly, with one hand!” I raised my left hand and reached for my back pocket with my right, drawing out my wallet. Handing it to him, I asked again, “What is this all about? I just want to get to my room.”

He whispered to the uniform cop and I was sure they were going to run my info and as the uniform left, the Sergeant said, “Which room is yours, there has been an altercation here. A man has been injured outside that room.” He was pointing to my room and my heart went cold. I spoke with a shaky voice, “I am in room 4.” Pointing at the door where all the activity was going on. The uniform had come back as I was saying this and whispered to the Sergeant. Who then turned to me and said, “Mr. Weston, do you know a man named William Kyle?” I breathed in hard, thinking, Billy? What has happened to Billy? To the cop I just nodded and said, “Yeah, he is a friend of mine. What has happened to him?”

The cop did not give me the details, but it was clear that Billy had been jumped while knocking on my door. It seems some local, the husband of a girl Billy had been messing with had beat him pretty bad. The cop then asked me, “Do you know anything about Mr. Kyle’s activities since he has been here?” I thought, oh yeah, I knew about Billy and his way’s with women. But to the cop, I just shrugged my shoulders. This was going to be a long night!

In my years as an Ironworker, I traveled a lot. It is called ‘booming’ within the trades and those that do it are called boomers. Most of the time, a crew, as few as 3 or as many as 5, would ‘boom out’ together. Finding jobs that had a lot of overtime that would last 3 months or less. In the good years there was plenty of that kind of work to be found.

For me it was always a time of loose morality. A stranger in a strange town, not staying for long led to many temptations and like so many of my crew mates, I had no reason to resist. My theory back then was, get it while you can! No one is going to know what you are doing. Kind of like the commercial that I have heard advertising the pleasures of Las Vegas. Their theme is, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!” There is only one problem with that, it aint true!

What I learned but never took to heart, was that all my actions have a reaction. There are consequences to everything we do. God’s Word says it plainly, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. Whatever a man sows, he will reap in return. The one who sows to please his flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; but the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.…” (Galatians 6: 7-8)

No matter what any of us believe. Our actions are like tossing a pebble in a pond, the ripples that flow out affect everything in their path. I took this to heart way to late in my life. And because of that I left a lot of pain, hurt and broken relationships in my wake. It is only through the grace of God, as shown through the cross of Jesus Christ, that today I can stand forgiven. It is my prayer that you who read this heed the warning, now!

My friend Billy paid the price physically and I wish I could say that changed him, but it didn’t. Nor did it change me, only a few years later I was in a similar situation where an irate husband was on my trail for messing with his wife. I look back on those time with regret and have tried to make amends where I can. I am blessed to know we have a God who loves so completely that he will accept a repentant sinner like myself. He is waiting for you too, my friend. Look in the mirror today. If you don’t like what you see, turn to HIM who saves completely. You will find peace.

Blessings,
John
11/11/19

Note: This is a blog I shared a few months ago that has been unfortunately updated due to the death of my friend. 

Have you ever had a mentor in your life? I have had many. In my work career I can think of at least three different guys who took me under their wings. They took the raw talent I had and shaped it into a formidable force. I gained all kinds of knowledge under their tutelage.

But today I am not talking about that kind of mentor. Today I want to talk about a spiritual man who has over our short friendship through his quiet, unshakeable faith has been able to show me the character of God in such a powerful way by just being who he was. Today I want to talk to you about my friend Joey Grimsley.

I am sure some of you reading this who knew Joey are already grinning. I bet you are thinking about some time when he had done something in your life that has brightened, enlightened or just filled that empty space with a Godly joy. Joey was that kind of guy. For those of you who have not had the privilege of knowing my friend, I guess the best way to share is to tell the story of our friendship.

It starts months before Joey and I ever met. In an amazing, God-led turn of events in 2016 I ‘met’ RuthAnn on Facebook. I have shared the story several times. From May through July of that year our only form of communication was through instant messages. Somewhere in July we graduated to actually speaking on the phone. And it was not long after that I first heard the names of RuthAnn’s friends Joey and Robin Grimsley.

I knew very little about them except they lived in a remote part of northern Georgia. A place I had vague and very dated knowledge about because once upon time about 3 decades ago I had worked on some TVA dams in the area. Now living a continent away in the wilds of Oregon, none of it rang out solid memories. But the more RuthAnn shared the more I heard about a couple who loved with their hearts, not just their heads. Christians who were really living a Christ like life. I was fascinated that they accepted me as their friend without even meeting me just because RuthAnn was growing in love for me as I was for her.

As the story goes RuthAnn and I finally met in September when she flew out to Oregon. We knew that there was little doubt that God had drawn us together and after a few more meeting in our trans-continental relationship we decided to marry. It was not until the wedding day itself in late December of 2016 that I finally met Joey and Robin.

As I entered the church and was preparing for the ceremony I was approached by this couple with broad warm smiles. They both hugged me like a long, lost friend. I have to admit, I was already in shock. My stable life in Grants Pass, Oregon was about to be exchanged for a life in Georgia among strangers but meeting these two seemed to give me an easy feeling. Maybe all was going to be alright. Maybe this was not going to be as scary as I thought.

Once I was settled into our life, I found that even though Joey and Robin lived 4 hours away, we met often. Normally for birthdays among a group of friends who had been doing this for quite a while. Again, in this group I felt out of place. RuthAnn’s deceased husband had been a member and I felt like I was intruding in a way. But it was Joey who broke through my fears. Yes, all the others were loving and accepting but Joey quietly and so lovingly let me know his friendship was genuine. It was his presence that was my assurance.

Over the next years Joey was there. When I started writing a blog, he and Robin became my most avid readers, encouraging me in ways that only true friends can. When I was asked to be an elder in the Macon church, it was Joey who I turned to for prayer and counsel. When disappointment and discouragement was handed me in that church it was Joey who had simple words of faith that lightened my heart. Believe me, folks, I am not the only one who knows all this about Joey. Whenever RuthAnn and I visited the Blairsville SDA Church where Joey had been an elder and leader, I saw the same love and respect shown by every person I met. I was treated like an honored guest being a friend of the Grimsley’s.

There is so much more I could write. His strong prayer life strengthened mine. His sense of humor brightened dark corners when I needed it, his calming words and genuine love gave me more than I gave in return. Joey Grimsley changed my life in ways that have drawn me closer to my Savior, what more can I say!

Sadly, on Sunday October 27^th my friend and mentor fell asleep in Christ. To say we all mourn his loss is a big  understatement but words fail me. I will miss his sometimes-sneaky sense of humor. I will miss his encouragement. I will miss his strength and his love. I will miss Joey and I know I am not alone.

Jesus said this, “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16) I have struggled to live this simple but amazingly hard verse, but I can truly say I knew a man who did it daily. I love and miss you, my good friend, Joey. The light of Christ in you has been a beacon for this lost man. Thank You!

Blessings,

John

Updated

10/28/19

He sat down next to me. I thought, “there are plenty of open seats on this bus, why does he have to sit here?” As the Greyhound pulled out of Chicago station I tried to ignore the man, but found myself glancing over. He looked like the oldest black man I had ever seen. I pulled a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and was about to light up, when I heard him say, “Them things are gonna kill you, son.” I lit up anyway blowing smoke in his direction. A smile came on his time etched face. He began to chuckle.

For the first time I looked directly at him and said, “What is so funny?” He looked at me with dark eyes that seem to sparkle, “Why, I was just thinking how young folks loves to do everything that ain’t no good for them.” He said almost laughing now. “Some things never change.”

I turned toward the window and smoked in a sulky silence. In a while, I heard he was humming a tune. Something I had never heard before. The sound was melodic and soothing but it irritated me that I was enjoying it. The old man nudged me and said, “Son, have you ever been to a circus?” I replied, “Yeah, lots of times.” Of course, this was a lie because I had only been to a circus once when I was so young I barely remembered it, but I wasn’t going to admit that to him. He returned to humming, even louder and a few of the passengers near us were looking now. In a while he grew silent.

“I worked the circus for many years,” he said suddenly, “You know what a roustabout is?” I had to admit he had my interest and said, “No, what is it.” At this he became animated and strangely even looked younger. “When you is a roustabout, working the big circuses, you need to know how to do everything. Some days you is setting up the big top and others feeding and caring for the big cats. You just never know. I was a roustabout for nigh 45 years.”

I waited for more but nothing came. We drew back into silence until he hummed his song again, this time so quiet that even I could barely hear him. I must have dozed off and when I awoke, he was reading. He looked up from the book and said, “It is fine that you can sleep on these buses, I never could, so I always carry my good book with me, a fine time for me and the Lord to catch up with one another.” At that he pointed at the old battered book and said, “You know this book, son?” Irritated again, I said, “Yeah who doesn’t, everyone knows about the bible.” With this he smiled again and said, “It ain’t knowin’ about it that counts, it is about knowing Him who is in it, how you doing with that?” I didn’t want to talk about it and asked him, “How did you become a roustabout?” He quietly said, “Know ye that the Lord he is God. It is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves, we are his people and the sheep of his pasture.” (Psalm 100:3)

Then he turned to me and said, “I was born in Boone County, Kentucky. My daddy was a preacher man. When I was young, maybe even younger than you, a circus came to town. Man, I was lost in all of it and decided right then and right there that I was going to get me a job working in a circus.” The laugh returned, it was full this time and his whole body shook with the fullness of it. “The problem was that my daddy had me pegged to be a preacher, just like him. But being of a wise young age… I knew better.” He grew a bit more solemn and said, “Within a year, I had run away. And I found that circus, alright.” Silence then, “What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26) He sighed, “Almost 50 years ago I made that deal with the devil and if it wasn’t for the Lord himself, I could have lost it all.” His smile returned as he said, “Now I take every chance I can to talk to young folks, let them know, you don’t have to decide to lose your soul today.” He then quoted this verse, “Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.” (Hebrews 7:28)

He talked more about his life, the good and the bad. I listened with ears of a 17-year-old. Knowing that his failings would never be mine. I even felt superior to this man because in my eyes he was a failure, a sad old man riding a bus with nothing better to do than bother young folks with his story of woe.

The thing is I am now as ‘ancient’ as I thought him to be and I regret that I did not take his words to heart. I too went on to live my life of woe and now I travel the ‘bus ways’ of the internet sharing my story. And today I want to agree with that traveler. I never knew his name but he left me with something better, his testimony and his hope. I want to leave you with that today. Before he got off the bus at Oshkosh, he said this, “Son, try to share the love of God with everyone you meet, if they don’t want it. It’s like puttin’ money in the bank for them. Believe me the time will come when they need it.” In my mind I see him slowly walking away down the aisle of the old bus and know he was right. Today I got a withdrawal with interest, I hope you did too.

By the way the song he hummed is called, “Give me Jesus”, here are a few of the words:

Take the world but give me Jesus, All it’s joys are but a name; But His love abideth ever, through eternal years the same.

Oh, the height and depth of mercy! Oh the length and breadth of love! Oh the fullness of redemption, Pledge of endless life above.

To that I say amen,

John

10/21/19

Dead End, the sign read. I had been driving around this neighborhood and ending up here at this exact place for at least an hour. Straining my eyes to see the address, that had been written down on a bar napkin, I was sure it had to be somewhere close by. 2347 Highland Drive. But that could not be right. I was sitting at what had to be the end of Highland Drive and the last house had been 2237. There must be another street by the same name or there had to be another section of this road somewhere else. It probably made no difference any more. I had been a half hour late when I arrived in the neighborhood and with the time I had spent looking, my opportunity must be gone. The guy I was seeking to meet must have left. Another waste of time.

As I sat thinking and was about to turn the car around one last time, I noticed headlights coming my way. Must be someone who lived in one of these houses just behind of where I was parked. Wrong again. As the car drew closer it lit up red and blue, great, a cop car.

Now I was panicked, I was holding about an 1/8 a gram of speed and there was no place to ditch it. Still maybe I could shove it in the lining of the trucks seat cover and then hope for the best. Grabbing under the seat I tried not to look too suspicious. I did not want the cops to think I was reaching for a gun or anything. Slowly I slipped the baggie up and tucked it near the seat belt just as I heard a car door open and could see an officer approaching in my driver’s side rearview mirror. He stopped near the taillight of my truck and in the glow of it I saw his hand was on his holster. I raised both of my hands and settled them on the steering wheel where he could see them, shouting over my shoulder through the driver’s side window I said, “I am unarmed! What is the problem?”

I looked in the passenger’s side mirror in time to see while I had been distracted with the one cop, another had moved silently to the passenger’s door and now turned on an enormous flash light, lighting up the entire interior of the truck. Keeping my hands on the steering wheel I lowered my head to cut the glare and heard a voice through the open driver’s window, “Son, don’t move till I tell you, I am going to open this door and ask you to step out of the truck slowly… keeping those hands where I can see them.” The rest happened quickly, as I got out, hands raised I was turned and leaned against the truck cab and searched. By then both cops were in front of me. Again, I asked, “What is the problem? I am lost and have been looking for an address but haven’t been doing anything.” The cop who had frisked me now was looking inside my truck. Under the seats and in the glove box, while the other held the light on me, they did not speak. Finally, the cop leaned back out of the truck with my registration. “Are you John Weston? Is this your truck?” As I nodded, I could feel sweat running down my back. As I glanced into the truck in the bright light, I could see a corner of the baggie with my drugs poking out near the seat belt buckle. Raising my head toward the sky and out of the glaring flashlight, I saw the Dead End sign again. “Yeah,” I thought, “ain’t this perfect? No where to run, no where to hide…my life keeps ending up right here. Another dead end!”

I’ve written a lot of blogs about my messed-up life and how accepting Jesus has changed it, I guess that is what I do. Every one of those stories were about dead ends because that was my life. Like in the story I am sharing today, my life was me wandering in the dark in search of something, I never was sure of what, and of course never finding what I was seeking. Coming to the realization I was at the Dead End sign again. Drugs, alcohol, sex and all the worldly pleasures are so enticing, yet every one of them is the real ‘dead end’ better known as death.

I am sure I could quote all kinds of statistics, but I think God’s Word says it best, “For the wages of sin is death…” that is from the book of Romans. And if it ended there a guy like me would always be at a dead end forever and so would you, but there is hope because the second part of that same verse says, “…but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

When I began to trust in Jesus, all the dead-end roads were now open. Yes, I had to leave behind those things that had kept me wandering and lost. And it took time to find a new and better GPS. Oh, not the one you have in your car or on your phone this GPS stands for “God’s Plan of Salvation” and it is found in His Word. When you have this GPS there are no more dead ends, only roads that lead to eternal life. And it is free because Jesus already paid the price on the cross. How cool is that?

Back at that Dead End sign, I was not arrested. One of the locals had called the cops seeing a strange truck wandering through their neighborhood for over an hour. Once they were satisfied, I had no weapons and was basically harmless, they let me go without searching my truck further. I had been saved again at another dead end in my life, but I was to lost in my addictions to see it at the time. How blessed am I today to know that at all those dead ends there was hope and a new road if I just looked to the one who was already looking for me? If you are at a dead end today, seek Him using a better GPS. With it you can’t miss the road to eternity. It is a sure thing.

Blessings John,

10/14/19