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Have you ever been so tired and discouraged that you just did not want to do anything? I am sure there are plenty of people out there who know what I am talking about. But it is unusual for me. I have never, even in my years of living under the influence, been a depressive. Most mornings I wake up with a positive attitude. But today is one of those rare days when this is not true.

So, as I sat down to write, I began to think, what it would be like to never wake up tired, sad or depressed. And do you know what? I could not do it. I could not sit here and picture an existence where none of this life’s woes were part of our DNA.
I wanted some picture in my mind that would encourage. Some positive thought that would lift me. And as often happens, the Holy Spirit brought a remembrance of something I read a few years ago. It comes out of a book called “Early Writings” by Ellen G White and in it she describes a vision she had of heaven. I don’t usually copy word for word long sections of writing but as it encouraged me this morning, I thought there may be someone else out there who needs to know that this world is not our home. There is a better land waiting. Take in this beautiful word picture and find hope!

“With Jesus at our head we all descended from the city down to this earth, on a great and mighty mountain, which could not bear Jesus up, and it parted asunder, and there was a mighty plain. Then we looked up and saw the great city, with twelve foundations, and twelve gates, three on each side, and an angel at each gate. We all cried out, “The city, the great city, it’s coming, it’s coming down from God out of heaven,” and it came and settled on the place where we stood. Then we began to look at the glorious things outside of the city. There I saw most glorious houses, that had the appearance of silver, supported by four pillars set with pearls most glorious to behold. There were to be inhabited by the saints. In each was a golden shelf. I saw many of the saints go into houses, take off their glittering crowns and lay them on the shelf, then go out into the field by the houses to do something with the earth; not as we have to do with the earth here; no, no. A glorious light shone all about their heads, and they were continually shouting and offering praises to God.

“I saw another field full of all kinds of flowers, and as I plucked them, I cried out, “They will never fade.” Next, I saw a field of tall grass, most glorious to behold; it was living green and had a reflection of silver and gold, as it waved proudly to the glory of King Jesus. Then we entered a field full of all kinds of beasts — the lion, the lamb, the leopard, and the wolf, all together in perfect union. We passed through the midst of them, and they followed peaceable after. Then we entered a wood, not like the dark woods we have here; no, no; but light, and all over glorious; the branches of the trees waved to and fro, and we all cried out, “We will dwell safely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods.” We passed through the woods, for we were on our way to Mount Zion.

“As we were traveling along, we met a company who also were gazing at the glories of the place. I noticed red as a border on their garments; their crowns were brilliant; their robes were pure white. As we greeted them, I asked Jesus who they were. He said they were martyrs that had been slain for Him. With them was an innumerable company of little ones; they also had a hem of red on their garments. Mount Zion was just before us, and on the mount was a glorious temple, and about it was seven other mountains, on which grew roses and lilies.

And I saw the little ones climb, or, if they chose, use their little wings and fly, to the top of the mountains and pluck the never-fading flowers. There were all kinds of trees around the temple to beautify the place: the box, the pine, the fir, the oil, the myrtle, the pomegranate, and the fig tree bowed down with the weight of its timely figs — these made the place all over glorious. As we were about to enter the holy temple, Jesus raised His lovely voice and said, “Only the 144,000 enter this place,” and we shouted, “Alleluia.”

“This temple was supported by seven pillars, all of transparent gold, set in pearls most glorious. The wonderful things I saw there I cannot describe. Oh, that I could talk in the language of Canaan, then could I tell a little of the glory of the better world. I saw there tables of stone in which the names of the 144,000 were engraved in letters of gold. After we beheld the glory of the temple, we went out, and Jesus left us and went into the city. Soon we heard His lovely voice again, saying, “Come, my people, you have come out of great tribulation, and done My will; suffered for Me; come into supper, for I will gird Myself, and serve you.” We shouted, “Alleluia! glory!” and entered into the city. And I saw a table of pure silver; it was many miles in length, yet our eyes could extend over it. I saw the fruit of the tree of life, the manna, almonds, figs, pomegranates, grapes, and many other kinds of fruit. I asked Jesus to let me eat of the fruit. He said, “Now. Those who eat o the fruit of this land go back to earth no more. But in a little while, if faithful, you shall both eat of the fruit of the tree of life and drink of the water of the fountain.” And He said, “You must go back to earth again and relate to others what I have revealed to you.”

Then an angel bore me gently down to this dark world. Sometimes I think I can stay here no longer; all things of earth look so dreary. I feel very lonely here, for I have seen a better land. Oh, that I had wings like a dove, then would I fly away and be at rest!” (Early Writings by Ellen G. White. Page 15 (part.))

Today, even as I feel deeply the last lines of this writing that, “…. all the things of earth look so dreary….” I am encouraged, I have hope. I am going to keep this picture of our reward in my mind and know this place is not my home. And now I am smiling and ready to do His will! May your day be brightened too!

Happy Sabbath and Blessings,
John
5/17/19

In his opening statement the district attorney said, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” pointing his finger at the accused man, “this man, Tom Gleason, is charged with Robbery and Assault with intent to do bodily harm. We will prove beyond any reasonable doubt that he is guilty as charged…”

I sat in the back row of the jury box and was trying to listen intently to what the DA was saying. The defense attorney had already told us that his client was a victim of circumstances and we needed to look at ALL the evidence before deciding. Now everything he had said seemed to be refuted by the sharp dressed lawyer pacing before us.

I had been called to jury duty three weeks before when an official looking letter arrived at the house. I was summoned to be available for this week in June. Once I had arrived at the courthouse and was sworn in, I never suspected that I would actually be impaneled on a jury but here I was looking at the accused man, thinking, “How am I ever going to be impartial in judgement of a man who is accused of doing things I had already done myself?” True enough, I had never been arrested for the crimes but it did not mean I had not done them. What would qualify me to judge this guy?

The DA put his case on throughout the first day. Witness after witness ended their testimony by pointing a finger at the accused and stating clearly that he was the man who perpetrated the crime. The defense attorney seemed to do very little to rebuke any of the accumulating evidence against his client. Even I was starting to be convince that this guy was guilty. Maybe the DA had good reason to look so smug as he rested his case.

The next day it was the defenses’ turn. This time we heard testimony that the defendant was just a good man in a bad situation. Even if it was true he was near the scene of the crime when it occurred he had not done it, clearly it was a case of mistaken identity. A friend stated that he was with the man at that time and assured us he didn’t do it. A relative said she was on the phone with him at the time the crime was committed. Character witnesses that stated what an upstanding family man Tom Gleason was. I could feel that my confidence in his guilt being eroded. And as the lawyers made their summations I was not sure what I was going to do.

Jesus said this, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7: 1-3)

How often am I guilty of this? I would say it is so often that I am embarrassed to admit it. How many times have I convicted someone of an offense without any evidence or even seeking an explanation? Again, the answer is, too often. My problem is, how do I practically go about changing this attitude? Jesus answer comes in the next verse.

He compliments verses 1-3 in Chapter 7 of Matthew by saying, “You hypocrite. First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7: 8) Simple but effective. Maybe if I stop for just an instant, remember who I am, a guilty sinner. Stop and give the Holy Spirit the time to speak instead of me. The log would fall away and I could see the person standing in front of me more clearly. I could be humbled and helpful not judge and jury.

It really comes down to love. Stated best by the apostle Paul, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13: 4-5) If we are not envious, boastful, or proud. When we are not dishonoring others, seeking to please ourselves or easily angered. When we keep no scoreboard of wrong doing. Then we might find we have nothing to judge others about. Then maybe we will listen more and speak less.

I did sit in judgement on that jury years ago. The other jurors opinions of the man’s guilt convinced me. But as I sat looking at him while the judge pronounced the verdict, I was the one who felt guilty. I am glad I have never had to do that again. But am ashamed to admit I have sat in judgement of others in my everyday life way too often. Today it is my prayer to have the ‘love words’ from First Corinthians in my heart and mind. To listen before I speak. And to judge not lest I be judged. It is also my prayer for this world of conflicting views and for you.

Blessings John

5/15/19

“What time is it?” I called out to the bartender, who was leaning against the beer cooler at the other end of the bar. He struggled to take his eyes off the TV that was attached to the wall near him. Looking at his watch, he said, “It’s 12:30.” Then as he turned back to the game that was on he grumbled, “Buy a watch, why don’t ya!” I shook my head and picked up my drink and stopped in mid air thinking, “I wish I could afford to buy another watch or get my good one out of hock.” But I knew that wouldn’t be happening any time soon. Shrugging my shoulders, I brought the drink to my lips and took a long pull. Life in the fast lane was not all it was cracked up to be.

I drank for another half hour, then decided to hoof it home. My car had been repossessed so I didn’t have a lot of choice. Just as I was getting up from the bar, I spied a dealer I knew coming in. We had done business before and as he walked past me he nodded but did not stop to chat. I could see he was heading toward the bartender. I thought, “Maybe a few free lines could be had!” I ambled over and stood next to the dealer. He didn’t look at me but could see me in the mirror behind the bar and said, “What you doin’? I ain’t here to talk to you.” I nodded and said, “Just thought I would say hello. Being friendly, you know.” He looked at me then and said, “I heard about you, man, so broke you don’t even have a ride anymore. So again, what you doin’ comin’ over here?” I shrugged and said, “Thought maybe I could get a taste, you know, nothing special, just friendly.” He drew close enough so I could smell his breath and said, “You got no friends, get it? No money, no friends. Do I look like a charity to you? Like they say nothing is free, now hit the bricks or I will ask Lou over there to toss you!” As I turned to leave I heard him laughing.

Nothing is free. I have heard that all my life. In fact, I grew up in a home that was based on the adage: “There is no free ride.” Everyone of my brothers and sister contributed to the household or at least got a job to support whatever needs we had. There was little money to go around. But also, as I grew up I was taught that there was no free ride with God either. It seemed like He too required that you earn your way with Him. Kind of a tit for tat thing. If I was a good kid and kept all rules I would get a free pass to heaven. But if I was bad and broke the law, it was hell for me, literally.

It was no better when I was on my own and as addictions took up more and more of my life, I knew there was no longer anyway to play by the rules I had learned. I had become a lawbreaker and the God I knew had no use for me. So, in return, I came to believe I had no use for Him. I could no longer work my way to heaven, so why even try.

Results were a bitter and broken man. Yeah, a lot of it was that I was ingesting poisons into my body daily. But there was more to it then that. I had no moral center. Yet the crazy thing was that with all of it, I would tell myself that I was still a good guy.

If I had to do someone wrong in a drug deal, that was only because I was protecting my dealer’s product. If I had to lie and cheat at a business deal that was ok too because that was the way business was done or that is what I was hired to do. If I ran from my son because I chose drugs over him. It was all ok. Everyone is doing it. Just the way of the world. I have my own truth and so do you. So easy to get lost.

Problem is there really only one truth and His name is Jesus Christ. It took me a long time to be able to say that. I really did not want to accept or believe even as the evidence in God’s Word confirmed it. The real proof was how the more I input that Word into my life, how that life began to change. Not all at once, but slowly, I found swearing, cheating, lying and even drinking no longer could exist. And I also realized the only good and righteousness one was Him who died for my sin.

The other cool thing I found was that it wasn’t tit for tat. I could not do a thing to change any of it, not one work I did affected anything. It started to happen when I believed that: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And not through your own doing, it is a gift from God.” (Ephesians 2:8) That is when the miracles occurred. I had found the one free thing, the grace of God. Nothing has ever been the same. Bitterness became joy. Brokenness was made whole.

Today, I find myself wanting more. Yes, this world still tugs at me. So, each day, I look to the cross and say, “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20) I can’t earn something Jesus already did, but I can surrender daily and as I do he continues to do the work in me. Awesome.

Years ago, I left that bar defeated, humiliated and cursing my life. It was a low point and if some one then would have showed me the love of God, my life might have been different, but no one did. I offer it to you today. It is a free gift. Grace, forgiveness, and hope. You see Jesus already paid the bill. What you got to lose?
Blessings John,

5/13/19

Are you a person who finds words fascinating? Well, I sure do. I will be having a conversation and hear a word l have probably heard 1000 times before and all of a sudden it will hit me, “Hmm, that is an odd word. I wonder where it came from?” That happened this morning when RuthAnn was talking about all the stuff she has to get done by a week from today, the last day of school. She said that there were a lot of deadlines that had to be met. When I heard the word deadline, I was struck how strange it is and immediately began to wonder where it came from.

Now I have used the word innumerable times myself. In construction you are always working against one deadline or another. The pressure is always on. So, I had heard the word repeatedly but this morning something set off my ‘word alarm’ and I needed to find out.

The wonder and the curse of our age is that just about all information known is now at our fingertips. I have to admit I have become as jaded as anyone when it comes to using the internet to seek the most trivial information. So, of course, when I wanted an answer to this word alarm question I headed to the unimpeachable source (said with much sarcasm), Google! And here is what I found:

Most etymologists agree that the word “deadline” first appeared during the American Civil War (1861-1865). According to author Christine Ammer, deadline was coined at the hellish Andersonville, GA prison camp, and first appeared in writing in the report of Confederate Inspector-General, Colonel D.T. Chandler, on July 5, 1864. In describing the horrific conditions, he famously wrote: “The Federal prisoners of war are confined within a stockade 15 feet high, of roughly hewn pine logs, about 8 inches in diameter, inserted 5 feet into the ground, enclosing, including the recent extension, an area of 540 by 260 yards. A railing around the inside of the stockade, and about 20 feet from it, constitutes the “deadline,” beyond which the prisoners are not allowed to pass . . . [as a large portion is] at present unfit for occupation . . . [this] gives somewhat less than 6 square feet to each prisoner . . .”

I was amazed by the source of the word. Living where I do in Georgia, I have walked the grounds of Andersonville Prison and seen the very location that D.T. Chandler spoke of. With this knowledge, all of a sudden, the word deadline takes on a deeper and, in some ways, more disturbing meaning. From now on either fortunately or unfortunately for me each time I either hear or use this word I will recall the inhumanity that we as mankind can wrought on one another. But when I reread the Colonel’s description of the prison, it made me think that when we are prisoners of sin, Satan has us in the exact situation as is described.

Now you may think I am stretching the point here but bear with me a bit. When I was living the ‘free’ life having no thought of the laws of God or if I did almost reveling in breaking them, I was actually building my own prison and erecting a ‘deadline’ I never dare cross. The difference was that the men in Andersonville knew they were in hell and if they crossed that line it meant sure death. In my case Satan convinced me that my prison was a place of endless pleasure and if I crossed the deadline, I would never have joy in my life again. The truth was I was entrapped in a life that meant death unless I was willing to cross not the deadline but the lifeline, allowing Jesus to transform me.

You see, being trapped in Satan’s prison is, in some ways, more hellish than even Andersonville and the main reason is that those of us who have lived or are living there are convinced that God is the jailer, he is the one who has set up deadlines, he is the one who steals and kills, but the truth is, it aint true. Here is what Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (John 10:10) It is Satan who steals and destroys, it is he who imprisons and he who lied to me all those years, convincing me that I could not live a life filled with joy and freedom obeying the laws of God. I am here to tell you; I have and I am.

This is the truth and if you can believe it, it will set you free, “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16) God does not set ‘deadlines’ he will not let us cross. We have free will and can choose our own path. But I have lived in Satan’s prison and he sure does not give you these same options. But fear not, cross that line and trust in Jesus. Unlike Andersonville there is no deadline in the prison you may be in today. Only a lifeline, named Jesus Christ!

Blessings and Happy Sabbath,
John
5/10/19

It had been another wet night. Nothing new in the coastal rain forest of Washington. My crew was stowing our gear in the gang box and I was heading into the office to give my report of the night’s work. When I got to the bottom of the stair tower, I heard someone call my name from above. Looking up into the dark drizzle, I could only make out a bulky figure three floors above me leaning over and yelling, “Hey, you better get back up here, we got a problem!” I shook my head and thought, “What now?” But I trudged back up the steps as quickly as I could.

When I got to the top of the tower, I could see it was Lenny and he looked worried. “John, we got trouble!” he paused, and I waited for him to go on. “Jamie just slugged one of the carpenter bosses and he is wanting to see our crew boss and that be you.” I sighed knowing this was not going to be good. “Where are they? I asked, but looking over his shoulder I could see a whole crowd of guys heading my way, with Jamie in the center of it. I also saw who he must have punched in front of the crowd, Lester Cone. This was going to be great. Lester and I already had I hate relationship going…. Oh boy!

As he drew closer I could see that his right eye was swelling, and he was walking kind of funny. I spoke first, “What’s going on Lester? I heard you wanted to see me.” He kind of sputtered and stuttered finally getting out, “This is your fault! You encourage these guys to think they can get away with anything. But not this time. I want that kid’s brass and I am going to ask that they run you off, too!” I really hated this guy and at the moment I did not care if he got me fired, I wasn’t going to listen to him. I said, “Lester, don’t threaten me! Go file a complaint but not against the kid. Just put my name on the form. I told him to hit you if you kept whining about our hogging the use of the crane for the last week and he did. It was my fault, you were right for once.” He looked at me through his one good eye and said, “So tough. So smug. But this is the end.” As he turned away his shoulder glanced off me and without thinking, I swung him around and punched him in his left eye. “There, now you have a matching set!” I said. Boy, was I right, this was not going to be good!

I got into a lot of fights during my years under the influence. Trouble seemed to follow me around. Or maybe it was the other way around, I was following it. But the sad truth is it really did not make any difference. I wasted a lot of time being angry and alcohol along with drugs just made it worse.

I know now that a lot of that anger came from guilt. Guilt about my son, about my life style and the people I messed over along the way. But I really had no way of dealing with the guilt. It was just there, and it gnawed at me. Result was anger and from that violence.

That was one of the truly amazing things that happened when I was being transformed through the Word of God. The guilt I felt did not go away at first. I carried it with me like extra baggage. I had found so many promises in the Word that opened me to letting go, but first I had to believe in the one who already died carrying that baggage. I had to put my faith in Jesus Christ.

Reading this, “Then Jesus said, “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry every burden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) I really wanted to trust that it was true, believe. But I did not. Then one of the many miracles of my life happened, I was looking at a Bible commentary for a completely different reason when I read this “There is nothing in faith that makes it our savior. Faith cannot remove our guilt. Christ is the power of God unto salvation to all them that believe. The justification comes through the merits of Jesus Christ. He paid the price for the sinner’s redemption. Yet it is only through faith in His blood that Jesus can justify the believer.” (SDA Bible Commentary Volume 6, pg. 1071.9) I saw it, my faith could not save me or take my guilt away. He had already done so, on the cross. It made sense and I found I could believe it. That was the Holy Spirit.

He opened the door. If I was now willing to confess I believed there would be forgiveness. I started to seek out promises in His Word. One of my favorites was and still is, “I will cleanse them from their iniquity by which they have sinned against Me, and I will pardon all their iniquities by which they have sinned against Me and by which they have transgressed against Me. (Jeremiah 33:8) Or Hebrews 8:12, “I will forgive their wickedness and I will never again remember their sins.” When I was able to lay my guilt at the foot of the cross, I found my anger was laid there too. God is good!

Back on that jobsite years ago, Lester tried to get me fired and he sought to have me arrested. Maybe that would have been a good thing. But neither thing happened. Our bosses just told us to take it out in the parking lot and put black marks in our files, no big deal. But I continued to walk through life guilt ridden and angry for many years to come. I cannot say today, I do not regret many of my decisions, but I know that through the blood of Jesus I have been forgiven. I continue to seek way to recompense those I have hurt. If you are one, I am sorry. If you are seeking to lose your guilt baggage then know, “If we confess our sins. He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) To that I say Amen.

Blessings John,

5/8/19