When life is in the balance we have a choice…

As I sat in the consulting room waiting, I could hear muffled conversations of nurses and patients walking past the door. I looked at my watch again, “How long was this going to take?” A slight knock and a young white coated man entered the room. Shaking my hand, he did not lift his eyes from the file that was in front of him, but said, “Hello, I am Doctor Michaels. How are you doings, Mr. Weston?” I nodded my head in a non-committal way and said, “I guess I could be better but I’ll wait to hear what you have to say.” At this he smiled a bit and then continued to read. Finally looking at me he shook his head and said, “I know you are here for a radiation consult that Doctor Kelly schedule for you. I have read your file and see that your cancer is pretty well advanced.” At this he seemed to wait for my reaction. When I said nothing, he continued. “I have to tell you that my advice in such cases is to avoid radiation. I believe the odds are that some of your organs and especially your bladder that be affected by the heavy doses which would be necessary over at least 48 treatments. Weighing that against the good it might do in reducing your symptoms I cannot say it would be advisable.”
I sat, stunned for a moment. This certainly was not what I was expecting. When I had been diagnosed with advanced Prostate Cancer in October and had undergone an exploratory surgery in November to check if the cancer had entered the lymph nodes and seminal vessels, I had not heard a positive statement from a doctor in months. But this guy was basically telling that there was no hope and he really wanted me to know that.
I don’t think I know anything more frightening than to be diagnosed with a terminal disease. I can’t speak for everyone but in my case, I felt completely helpless. Everything that seems so permanent the day before was now like sand running through my fingers. I remember that I had just started two large projects for my company. Projects that were scheduled to last for two years or more. I thought of them and said to myself, “I am not going to be around to see these completed.” My life that was going to span for years to come now seemed to come down to months maybe days. There really was no hope.
The question is, “What can a person who has just faced this reality do?” Well, I guess the answer to that question comes down to what you believe. If all your trust is in this world and the little time we have on this planet. Then, like me that day sitting across from that doctor, you have no hope. But if you know and believe in a Savior that has already conquered death and has promised we will too. Then there is more than hope, there is a future beyond this world full of pain and death.
Jesus once stood before a tomb. A friend of his had died four days earlier. The funeral was in full swing when Jesus arrived and the sisters of the man were crying, “If you would have been here our brother Lazarus would not have died.” And even though they believe that there would be a resurrection day, they still did not really know who Jesus was, but he told sister Martha this, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.” (John 11:25) Jesus went on to raise Lazarus from the dead and all marveled.
The thing is, this promise holds true today. Jesus is the resurrection and the life. But it does require one thing on our part, belief. Jesus does not want us to face the scary parts or any of life without Him and we do not have to. But it is really up to us. We can live a hopeless existence or can have hope right now, today. All it takes is turning away from a world that offers nothing more than a few years on a dying planet and turning to He who can offer everlasting life. It really is pretty simple, don’t you think?
Well, as you can tell I did not die back in 2006 and did go on to have 48 radiation treatments. God is good. My only regret is that it took me another four years to accept Jesus as my savior because of that I lived a lot of days without hope. But the unbelievable thing is that now, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, and your rod and staff, they comfort me.” (Psalm 23:4) I know that He is always there and even when that last day comes I will be heading to my real home to be with Him. I hope to see you there.
Blessings John
8/25/17