Month: November 2017

The bar was half full. I thought, “Lots of drunks without any place else to go.” It was 11:00 AM on Thanksgiving morning. I had been at the bar since before it opened. The owner knew a good customer when he saw one, so he allowed me quite often to get ‘eye openers’ before he officially opened for the day.

As I looked around me I saw that more than three-quarters of the people were men ages ranging from 20’s to who knows how old. Most had that defeated look of folks who just survive the holiday season. The few women sat at the bar not in the booths scattered throughout the bar seeming to want to be close to the center of whatever festivities were going to happen in a run down place like this. I knew better, this was it. Another Thanksgiving huddled over as many whiskey and cokes as I could guzzle. Life stunk and then you died, was my motto for this year and most years I could recall.

I had plenty of time to reflect on my life. I sat alone in a booth away from the main crowd now fixated on the television above the bar. Football would be the name of the game for the remainder of the day. I wanted no part of any of it. I just wanted to be alone and there was no one who wanted to interrupt.

As I thought, I could see the downward spiral that led me to be the guy who lives by himself in a run down, pay by the week motel. Yeah, I had a job and a car that I quit making payments on. My social life centered around this bar and the few others where I could sate my alcohol needs with as little interaction with people as possible. I sometimes wondered if my brother and sister knew if I was alive. I had given them no clue in the last couple of years. I was basically on the run. From child support and some angry drug dealers. You play the game, you pay the piper. Except for a few guys that worked for me and the occasional woman I had one-night stands with, I was as alone as I had ever been, and I felt it most acutely during the holidays. “Please tell me they will be over soon!” I thought waving down the surely waitress. She didn’t want to be here either. Yeah life stunk and then you died. Happy Thanksgiving!

For many of us the holiday season is full of joy, family, and friends. But there are a whole bunch of people who struggle with addictions that only experience loneliness and pain. I spent at least five holiday seasons completely disconnected from everyone and everthing because addictions were controlling my life. It was not much better even when I was in relationships because I spent most of the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas finding excuses to drink and drug more than usual. It took most of the joy out of the lives of those around me, but I was oblivious. I just wanted the season to be over. None of that changed until I found the true joy of life didn’t come out of a bottle or in white lines on a mirror. A miracle occurred when I was challenged to read a book I detested, the Bible. A drunken druggie was transformed. I experienced a joy I had never known. Through this I discovered an unbelievable love and a reason to celebrate.

Here is the verse that changed my life, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) I read this while I was still consuming alcohol in copious amounts. One day as I read it something in me clicked. I re-read it, all I could think was: “Why”. Why would this God I knew nothing about and really didn’t believe in want to save me? I didn’t know. But I something in me wanted to believe.

I remember it was late September 2010 and we were about to take a train trip to Denver. I could not get that verse out of my head. In early October on the way back from Denver, something happened that had never occurred before, I refused a drink on the train. And it kept happening day after day and soon the holiday season was starting but I still didn’t drink. I found myself enjoying the season for the first time since I was a boy. But it was better than that, I found I wanted to know more about this Savior, born in a stable, who had died for me according to the verse which still stayed in my mind.

That holiday season I began to read and listen to the Bible every day, it felt right. In early December, I walked through the doors of a Seventh Day Adventist church and for the first time as an adult I was surrounded by people who had an inner joy and wanted to share it with me. I smiled and laughed a lot throughout that season. Without me really knowing the miracle had begun.

I have had many joyful Thanksgivings since then and a few that even though there was pain, I found reasons for true joy. I look back on that Thursday so long ago, sitting in that bar alone. I know even then I had a God who loved me and a Savior who would have died just to save that sad man. I want to share another verse with you that gave me hope. And if you are alone, if you believe He doesn’t care, He does. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13) The key to that verse is trust. Try it this holiday season, there is hope my friends. My new motto is: Life is good then you live forever! To be continued….

Blessings John
11/17/17

Today I am writing something a little different. Last night we completed the Celebrating Life in Recovery program at the Wimbish Road Church in Macon, Georgia. We were blessed, and I wanted to share those blessing with you, read on!

As the final meeting drew to a close, I felt a sense of loss but also one of exultation. Over 14 weeks the group before me had taken a journey together. Sharing, caring as we were being led by the Holy Spirit. It was a journey of healing for some, of growth for others. But for all it was a time of discovery. We had just experienced a program which showed us we all have junk in our lives and no matter how terrible or ugly it might be, we have a Savior who wants to take it all. He wants to free us. We all had just shared, Celebrating Life in Recovery.

My loss came from knowing that our group would no longer meet every Tuesday night. But my exultation came from the look and voice of peace and joy I saw and heard as we shared this last night together. We had been changed and we knew it. And as I passed out the certificates of completion it was again the feeling of the Holy Spirit being there and filling the room with warmth that allowed me to cry just a little but smile through the tears.

Celebrating Life in Recovery is a 14-week recovery program. But unlike most it is not directed specifically at addictions but addresses the broader issues of life we normally would not consider when we are speaking of recovery. Its basis is in that all of us are sinners and because of that we have something in our lives that is keeping us from a closer and more intimate walk with Jesus. Something that keeps us from feeling comfortable walking around in our own skin and holds us back from all God wants for us. Being structured as a 12-step program it follows in the basics of this familiar format although unlike others that offer this it is totally Bible based. But there is so much more to it.

You see, Celebrating Life in Recovery the program is also based on a television show of the same name. This long running show on the Three Angels Broadcasting Network is hosted by my friend, Cheri Peters. Cheri who experienced every kind of abuse from the time she was born, including parental abuse. She was abandoned to the streets of Los Angeles as a youth. There drugs led to a lifestyle of crime and degradation. So much so that she found herself on the verge of suicide then a miracle occurred, she heard the voice of God saying He loved her. After that her life changed, no not in an instant. But she was led on a journey sharing what God was doing in her life. Lots of miracles, too many to write here. But because of them she began a ministry to the lost, hence first the television program where guest share amazing testimonies and from it came this recovery program rooted in God’s love for us and based on one of the greatest Christian books of all time, Steps to Christ.

The 12-step, the Bible based program and the shared videos alone make this a solid route to recovery. But there is one more feature which is truly the heart of the program, small group discussions. Each week the participants meet first together to learn about healthy lifestyles and watch a video which demonstrates the lesson from that week’s program. Then they break into smaller fellowship groups to discuss and share what each has on their heart. Within a few weeks bonds start to form and the discussion, led by a group leader, becomes the center of the Holy Spirit’s life changing work. No counsellor needed or wanted just people sharing can and does begin the healing process!

There is still more to the program, in its understanding that all true recovery means a healthy body and along with that a healthy mind. Instructions in health, along with a healthy snack are shared. Even a vegetarian cookbook is given to each participant to help with their changing life. Complete rebuilding of the body and spirit, that is the program’s goal.

Being a supporter of Cheri’s ministry for years, first financially and in recent years a leader in the program, it was my prayer when I moved to the Wimbish Road SDA Church in Macon, Georgia this year, that it would see the awesome benefits of supporting and promoting this program. I was blessed that all embraced it. We had our first meeting August 15th with 24 participants, a mix of community and church members. When we finished last night, we had an amazing 26 who completed the program. God has been good to us here in Macon.

During our graduation ceremony last night, after we enjoyed a fellowship meal together, each of our group leaders shared their insights to the life changing benefits of the program. But the highlight testimony came from one of our community participants who shared that she was able to see how she had been hanging on to her sins, how they had been ruling her life and through the program she had found the strength to start letting go. It touched us all and brought tears to my eyes. I saw that the Holy Spirit had truly done His wonders over the past 14 weeks.

In Macon we are already looking forward to sharing this program again. If after reading this you think you, your church or organization can benefit from Celebrating Life in Recovery check out Cheri’s website, truestep.org or you can contact me at my blog address, my-lostandfound.net. My prayers are that you will experience what we who have spent these last 14 Tuesdays together now know: “Our God is crazy about us!” We can truly celebrate, “How cool is that!”

Just a caveat here. True Step Ministries runs on faith. The work that Cheri, Brad, and the whole ministry do is one that most of the Christian world would like to sweep under the rug. But it is truly the work Jesus said He came to do. The work of Luke 19:10, “…I have come to seek and save the lost.” If anything  I wrote today has touched you, visit truestep.org and donate to one of the hardest working, worthy ministries you will find. As one of the lost now found, I thank God for what it has done in my life. Think about it then give from your heart. You won’t regret it!

Blessings from Macon Georgia, John
11/15/17

I stood before the judge. The courtroom was full of those waiting for their turn and attorneys who were constantly looking at their watches. The bailiff had called my case, the case number along with the citation for driving drunk and resisting arrest. I stood there disheveled and very much alone. An attorney had been offered but I had refused. I just want to get this over with.

There was a long silence, as I assumed the judge was reviewing the arrest report, case file and my record. Finally, she looked up and said, “Mr. Weston, I see this is not the first time you have been before this court. You were arrested a little over a year ago for driving while under the influence. Before that drunk and disorderly. And, oh I see, there is even a charge for public lewdness here. Now here you are again and this time you have added resisting arrest. Quite a stellar list of accomplishments. Where is your attorney? Wasn’t one appointed for you? I shook my head and replied, “Yes, your honor, but I refused representation.” She stared down at me, now shaking her head, “Mr. Weston, I advise strongly that you get yourself representation and do it now before I ask you for your plea. I am going to postpone your arraignment and give you a chance to think this over a bit. The charges against you, taken with your record are serious. Be advised if you come back before me without an attorney beside you that I believe you may regret it. Do you understand?” I lowered my head and mumbled, “Yes, your honor.” She shook her head again and said, “Move this case to the end of today’s docket and supply Mr. Weston with a court appointed attorney to advise him. Call the next case.”

I was shuffled to the back of the courtroom and placed in the guarded section where the jail-release defendants were being held. The attending bailiff sat me in the back row while looking through the list of available attorneys. Soon a young man came and tapped me on the shoulder. He said, “My name is Clint Sanders. Why don’t you come with me, so we can see if there is a way out of this mess.” As I looked at him, I knew there was no hope. Jail time and more destruction to my already destroyed life lay ahead. What could he do about it?

The Bible says this, “I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father- Jesus Christ the Righteous One.” (1 John 2:1)

I hate to admit it, but I spent a lot of time in courtrooms during my life. Most every time because I had broken a law of one kind or another. Most all due to my addictions to alcohol or drugs. They led me into a lawless life. Many times, I had lawyers who would represent me and most of them did their best to keep me from the punishment my crimes held. But there was never one of them that said to me, “Listen, John, I want to take your place. I want to stand before the judge and be not only your counsellor but also be the defendant.” Nope, that never happened even once. I bet you would think it would be ridiculous to even think a lawyer would or should. But in the trial of life, we have such an advocate, Jesus Christ.

“All have sinned and fallen of the glory of God.” (Roman 3:23) Everyone of us are criminals if we admit it or not. The Apostle John puts it this way, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8) But if we can admit this and confess our sinfulness, a miracle happens that is not seen in any courtroom in this world. You see, Jesus as our advocate goes far above and beyond the work of an earthly attorney, for His case is grounded in the work He has done to secure God’s favorable verdict, “There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Jesus Christ. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Jesus Christ from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law could not do. By sending His Own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1-4)

Do you see it? If you are in Christ and no longer hanging on to your sins, God no longer condemns us. No, we become part of His family. Yes, we are guilty and can’t make the grade on our own. But through the cross and the sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus imputes to us justification. We are made right with God. He is the one who took my sin to the cross, dying under the burden of it; He is the one who rose again to sit at the right hand of the Father now as my advocate. I don’t know if I understand it completely and believe I will be studying it throughout eternity. I can only say, I want it and accept it and believe: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) The fact is I need this right now! How about you?

Back in that courtroom, I found no joy. I allowed Clint to represent me, but the Judge showed no mercy when we came to trial. I was convicted paid the heavy penalties that came with my crimes. Today I am blessed to know  my God is not a merciless judge. He has allowed His Son to not only represent me but stand in my place. I can only be humbled knowing this. Amazing as it is for us sinners there is no courtroom fairer than that of our Living God. To that I say Amen.

Blessings John
11/13

“I don’t want to hear any more talk about God!” I said turning to my partner as he drove, “We have gone over and over this. You can believe what you want but I am good with my life as it is, just leave me alone!” He just smiled and kept his eyes on the road. That irritated me even more. I knew he would never stop. “Enough is enough. He has to go!” I thought while fuming in silence. We drove in that tension until we reached Moab.

Our company had been formed a year before, four guys getting together. Each brought something to the table. But Jack had been essential because he belonged to the church and in Utah without those contacts we wouldn’t be going anywhere. Over that year I had put up with his constant barrage of religious mumbo jumbo and I was not going to put up with it anymore. Even if it meant we lost business I was going to get him removed from the company.

Once we were back in Salt Lake City, I called a meeting of the other partners secretly. Any time we got together alcohol and drugs were available in copious amounts but today I had started early and was already very high by the time the meeting started. I could see they were curious and wondering where Jack was, so I got right into it. “Jack is not here today because I called this meeting about him. I want him out and I want to get it done tonight!” Both stared at me but said nothing. I asked, “Are you going to say something or not?” Bobby spoke first, “John, you know we need Jack’s connections. What are you thinking?” The alcohol and speed were flaming my anger and I said, “I will not have that religious freak in this company any more, it is either him or me. You guys can choose. But I can’t take any more of his pushing Jesus on me day and night. I have fired people before for less than what he is doing. He is out, or I am!” Again, they sat in silence.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been centering my thoughts and writing on what is known to many as the beatitudes. The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 5, verses 3-12. Each are blessings and promises that Jesus challenges us to seek. Each one has been a challenge in my life. Some of them have even been painful as I have looked at how my addictions and disbelief kept me from a life of freedom offered in these blessings. I had so much that needed to be transformation in my life. So many miracles yet more to come.

Praying, thinking, and writing about the first seven verses has opened my eyes to things in my life that are still works in progress. But I know if I trust and am willing, all these promises are possible and that brings me great joy. But now comes the last two and I find myself a little shaky in my boots. In these Jesus tells us that not only will we, as followers of His, be persecuted, but we should find joy in the fact. It is the ultimate test of faith and am I ready? Are you?

Let’s look at the verses, “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” (Matthew 5:10-12)

To be truthful when I read this, I am not sure I can stand up in the face of persecution Jesus speaks of. And, I do not think any of us can unless we truly accept and belief this, “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. And the life now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20) This is where the rubber meets the road! Total surrender, daily, maybe minute by minute. When you and I can accept this we no longer worry about persecution but now can only think about salvation. And not ours but those still needing to know Jesus and His saving power. We become like He who gave Himself for me. It can all start today, this minute! But how?

It all starts with prayer. I never testify without speaking of its power. I would not be here without the prayers of many. And I would not grow in faith without it daily. It is the source of strength and it is our open communication line with God Himself. To find the surrender needed prayer at the foot of the cross is number one. Secondly is the Word of God. Do you know how amazing this book is? Is there any other like it? Surviving more than six millenniums unaltered. It has been the source of strength for martyrs and that strength is what we will need to today, “Your Word is a lamp to my feet, a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105) To stand surrendered and ready, prayer and the Word of God has the power we need. Thank you, Lord!

I was once a persecutor of followers of Jesus. I failed in removing my partner, but made his life as much hell as I could. He stayed faithful. It was not the first or the last time I harassed and harangued Christians or deprived them of a worldly goods or dignity. I have a forgiving God. Who now calls me to stand for Him with the fervor of my persecution. I am willing. And with prayer and the strength of His Word, I can know the promise of the today’s verses are assured. This world is not my home, I look forward to the kingdom of God. I pray I will see you there.

Blessings John
11/10/17

“I ain’t happy!” I shouted as one of my crew stood in front of me. We had just missed an inspection which meant a concrete pour would need to be pushed back. All I could see was liquidated damage claims coming from the general contractor and my company was already in deep trouble financially. “This is going to be like war!” I thought as I drove to the contractor’s job trailer.

Once inside a took off my hard hat and waited for the project super to come out of a meeting being held in his office. Muffled voices came through the door and I could tell none of them were happy. Suddenly the door burst open and three of the company’s top brass came toward me. I stood ready to be surrounded and all my arguments ran through my mind.

Jim Thompson, superintendent for Mission Construction, got in my face and said, “John, what is going on? I heard you cannot get that set of walls finished so we can have inspection tonight and in fact the city inspector left without passing off your work! This is going to be big trouble and you are holding the bag!”

Even though I knew some of what he was saying was true, I was angry, I needed to fight and said. “We lost at least a day because of your carpenter crew and now you want to pin the blame on us! Well, that ain’t going to work!” Expletives I won’t write here were mingled in both of our words and true anger was building.

Jim pushed me on the shoulder as he walked past me, and I grabbed him from behind to swing him around. Soon we were wrestling, the anger now exploding into violence. The other two men stepped in and tried to separate us. I finally let go of Jim but held his gaze. He said, “Just like you, John. A drunk who can’t get his work done then tries to put the blame on others. I want your company off this job, I am going to find a way to void your contract!”

I was shaking with anger and said in return, “Give it your best shot, Jim. You know your guys are as much to blame as my company is that we are so far behind. And speaking of drunks, isn’t that a fifth of scotch you have in your desk drawer!” I headed toward the door but turned back and said, “You might as well have declared war because there will be no more peace on this jobsite. You can try to make my life miserable but believe me I will sure make yours even worse!” With that I slammed the door and sped off in my truck.

Most of my career as an Ironworker and most of my life as an addict was lived in a state of rage. Right under the surface lay this uncontrollable anger which seemed to govern who I was. The terrible thing was that there were and are so many who live exactly like that and I see it only getting worse as our world sinks deeper and deeper into the self-centeredness that breeds the violence we see around us every day now. Is there any hope?

Jesus stated, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9) What can this verse mean in the face of a world in total conflict? Are we as followers of Jesus to become ‘peace freaks’ of the 1960’s, using the words love and peace that ring hollow because they seem to be just words without meaning? I think the answer is no. Not if we as followers are not living a life which is surrendered to the Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ! Because in is in that we will find peace and be able to become true peacemakers, hence sons of God.

I think that process of this is stated by Paul in the book of Colossians, “For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross.” (Colossians 1:20) Do you see it? Jesus has through the cross made peace between sinners and God. We can claim that peace only because of the reconciliation done in Jesus. Until we can except this we will always be at war with others and even more terrible with God Himself. That is the way I lived for over 40 years and that is the way I see the world around me sinking deeper into conflict.

Jesus’ brother James said this, “But wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” (James 3:17-18) If we are right with God, through the cross, the fruit of the Spirit, peace, will be given and it will show fruit in the traits of this verse and the Holy Spirit will work within us with a pure wisdom. Miraculously we become more considerate, submissive, and merciful. And in the world, that is so divided we can be impartial and sincere. In other words, peacemakers. Not an easy task but absolutely impossible without repentance and submission at the foot of the cross. Jesus calls but are we willing?

Years ago, I warred with contractors, friends, and family. I sought no peace, and none was found in my life. I cringe thinking about that guy and still every day thank a merciful God that I can sit here today truly peaceful. Not because my life is perfect but because I have a perfect Savior and it is in Him my peace is founded. He truly is the Prince of Peace! And today is a good day to accept His promise, “Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27) So, I can say today, peace brothers and sisters and mean it with all my heart.

Blessings John
11/8/17