Month: June 2019

Some of you know the story of how RuthAnn and I met. It is one of those modern-day tales that seem very unlikely for two widowed people who were neither looking for or seeking a spouse or partner. In many ways that is what makes the story even more of a ‘faith moment’ because we both believe it was God’s plan for us that we would have never imagined for ourselves.

In the year and a half since Dianne had passed away my earlier faith crisis had faded to be replaced with a busy Christian life. Along with the Prayer Meeting Ministry I was led to by our young assistant pastor, I was now leader of several other ministries, Youth Sabbath School, Fellowship Meal, weekly Soup Kitchen and was a member of the prayer committee. I had also become involved in a recovery ministry at our sister church in Cave Junction, Oregon and was about to start the same 13-week program at the Grants Pass, Oregon church. I was busy and most would say too busy.

I still was working full time on a job that kept me going from 5:00AM in the morning until about 12 hours later. I had left myself very little time to be worried about my own walk with the Lord. Yes, I did my devotions every morning and never missed a day of being in God’s Word for at least 45 minutes or an hour, but those time always seemed so rushed. Also, my job had begun to be a problem. I had been hired before I accepted Jesus as my all and all. I had a reputation of a guy willing to do anything to make money for the company. Lie, steal and certainly use anger and even violence to get the job done. But the Lord had changed me.

This had caused conflicts with the new management team. They wanted the ‘old’ John they had heard of back. I knew I needed to decide about my career. This, my busy ministry life and other things I will write in a future blog were all on my mind in May of 2016.

Around that time a well-known minister lost his wife to cancer and I wrote a note to him on Facebook. Just a comment on one of his posts to assure him the Lord could and would comfort and strengthen him. I felt his pain but once I wrote it, I thought very little of it again. Little did I know that it would be that comment that would spark the interest of a schoolteacher, who lived a country away, in the state of Georgia.

The story, as RuthAnn tells it goes like this. She too had lost her spouse in 2014 and was a ‘friend’ of this minister on Facebook. While she was perusing his post, the comment I wrote interested her enough to do something she never did, go to the page of a person she did not know and see who he was. And by another ‘coincidence’ when she did, she noticed I had posted pictures of an artichoke plant which had bloomed and was about to produce several yummy artichokes. She had a plant that was not doing so well and decided she needed to ask me my advice. In the process she sent me a friend request, something also that she never did, especially to a stranger.

For my part, I had only been on Facebook since my wife had passed away and had only joined so I could stay in better contact with my kids. I had posted the ‘artichoke pictures’ to tease my green thumbed friends. Most of them knew it was Dianne who was the gardener and not me. The artichoke plant had survived more than had been nurtured. So, when I received this woman’s friend request, I was suspicious. I had gotten friend requests from strangers before but normally declined them. But this one seemed genuine and without much of a thought I accepted. And even though we did not know it at the time the Lord had just directed RuthAnn and me to a moment of faith.

That is the amazing thing about how God works in our lives. Sometimes his leading is so subtle that we do not even see his hand gently directing us. Allowing us to make ‘free will’ decision. Oh, yeah, I could have just as easily declined that friend request. But looking back at it I know there was a ‘rightness’ in accepting it. There was a peace and a lack of suspicion that I had so many times before. These moments are a fulfillment in what God promises, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) I was sure I had the rest of my life planned out but was God who sought to establish my next step. It is he who opens new paths that we can choose and in that moment of accepting RuthAnn’s friend request, I chose to open a new door and so did she.

There are more moments of faith that happened in the sequent months and I will venture to share a few of them in following blogs but I want to leave you all with the thought today that maybe you are not aware of or take for granted. God really works in every aspect of our lives. If we are willing and are bold enough, he will lead us. Here is a favorite verse of mine that reminds me of what is available to us daily, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) This promise is shown in our moments of faith. Look for his working in your life today, it is amazing!

Blessings
John
6/26/19

I sat in the small waiting room. There was very little for me to do but wait. The magazines provided and laying on the end table a few chairs away held no interest to me. Who really cared what the Hollywood stars ate or wore? Would I actually remember the recipe I would read in the 5-month-old Good Housekeeping? Either way, I had no interest in any of it. I was here waiting on a surgeon who would tell me if my wife’s torn colon could be repaired and if sepsis would be a concern. Did any fecal matter escape into the body cavity? At this moment I just did not know.

Only an hour earlier we had been across the street at the outpatient surgical facility for a routine colonoscopy. Again, I had been sitting in a waiting room. There I was watching one of the morning shows with the sound down so low I would have had to be a lip reader to understand what was being said. But at least it was passing the time. My mind had been busy thinking about work. Sure, I could take a few hours off to make sure this procedure was done but I needed to get back to my desk, I had 6 projects in the field and had already gotten two calls while sitting here from foremen who needed more info. I really needed to get to my computer. Staring at the screen and with my mind wandering I barely heard the nurse call my name until she was standing almost in front of me. When I did, I noticed that she seemed quite shaken as she quietly asked, “Mr. Weston could you please come with me.” Still not overly concerned I did as she said not knowing soon my whole world would change. From that moment I would be led on a painful one-year journey that would lead to my wife’s death and to a life I could have never imagined.

I bet some of you recognize this moment. No maybe it was not as dramatic as this or maybe it was even more so. An accident where a loved one is left on the edge of life or death. A sudden illness that seems so innocent, yet it spirals into a series of life changing events. If you have lived long enough then I am sure you have been there.

I cannot write the whole story of what happened from that moment almost five years ago. It is too complex and might actually take a book to explain it all, but I promise I will give you the short version before I am done writing today. But it is not my point this morning to dwell on what physically happened during that traumatic time, it is more the spiritual journey I was led on that I would like to share.

You see, at the moment I have described I had already began to think of myself as a Christian. I had done all the things it takes to be inducted into the faith. Bible study, regular attendance of church. Baptism and even was involved in good works ministries. Yep, from the outside I looked pretty good. But until that moment when the nurse asked me to follow her, I soon realized my faith had never been tested. But in an instant, all that changed. And like many of us whose faith is based in the head and not the heart, I did not fare so well.

The truth is throughout the year 2014, I was too busy being a caregiver to worry about how I was doing spiritually. Again, from the outside I looked like the devoted, loving Christian caring for his wife who met one health challenge after another. People would say, “John, you are so strong!” and compliment me on my ability to hold up under it all. I thought so too, that is until two days after Christmas of that year. Then I was alone or so it felt. Could I trust God and His promises? Could I truly be a follower of Jesus? For about 3 months I was not sure.

At first all the old demons returned. The temptation to drink was stronger than it had been in years. Satan said, “Go ahead, have a drink you deserve it!” and even worse, “You need it!” I resisted, I kept reading God’s Word and I prayed. But it all seemed so empty. “Where are you God?” “Jesus, I thought I was saved!” I was alone or so I felt. It was not true.

One day in April of 2015 our young assistant pastor texted me this verse, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) I had heard it, read it but until that moment I had not felt it. But I did! Something in me, I know now was the Holy Spirit, allowed me if just for a moment to know those words were true. The pastor kept sending me verses. I would claim them, hold God accountable and He did not fail me. Soon, the pastor asked me to share as Wednesday night Prayer Meeting leader. It was exactly where I needed to be. Prayer with warriors of God added to my strength. My heart was finally connecting. My faith walk had truly begun.

As promised, the short version. My wife did experience a torn colon during a routine colonoscopy. It led to months of recovery but during the surgery it was found she was retaining ascites fluid, and no one knew why. By July she seemed fully recovered but the fluid build up began again and finally in October she was diagnosed with terminal liver and spine cancer. There is so much more to the story, but the fact is she died on December 27, 2014. I know she rests waiting on Jesus soon return. And as for me, I live in the Lord with heartfelt faith. God has led me on new journeys, some I will share here in the next few blogs. Until then, know I now trust, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28). You can too!

Blessings,
John
6/24/2019

I was reminded again over this last weekend that life is all about choices. Some of them are so basic that they would seem to be ‘no brainers’. Things like the route taken in heavy traffic. That certainly shouldn’t be life changing. But then there are the choices which define who we are or who we strive to be, and I was faced with more than a few of those as the weekend progressed.

Some of you know that RuthAnn’s daughter had been planning a wedding for a long time. It was literally over two years ago that we became involved in the plans. RuthAnn was asked and accepted the honor of walking Sarah down the aisle and then giving her away. Normally a father’s job, but Sarah’s father and RuthAnn’s husband passed away several years ago and so the honor came to ‘Mom’. That was the beginning.

Then came all the other plans that make some couples decide just to elope and get it over with. Dresses and tuxedos. Food and cake. Let alone the wedding itself and the reception afterwards. All of it became one decision after another. But little by little Sarah got it all together, designating some of the needs and wants to RuthAnn to help with. One of those was canning 140- 1/4-quart jars of preserves 40 of each apple, strawberry and peach. These were given to the guests at the reception as a gift. Was an experience getting these done and transported from our place in Georgia to Sarah’s home in Maryland just north of DC. It got done like so many other things that go into planning such an event.

I guess I digress a bit. I started out writing about choices and it was actually the wedding and all of the events that surround it that led me to the choices I struggled with and also left me with questions about who I am today and how I approach life as a follower of Jesus Christ.

To understand some of this you certainly have to understand my background. For most of you reading this I think you well know that I lived a life so much different than I do today. Addicted to alcohol and drugs I filled my life with selfish pursuits and left a trail of pain along the way. During that time one of my favorite things was to party and nothing was better than events where free booze flowed. Just like the wedding and all its events we attended this weekend.

Now let me say this right off the top. I am not opposed to responsible alcohol drinking. If someone enjoys a glass of wine or an alcoholic drink it is fine with me. But I was never able to do such a thing. If I had one, I was going to have as many as I could, there would be no stopping me. So, it was not the idea that there was alcohol at every event we went to during the weekend. I think with secular weddings this is to be expected. No, it was more about my reaction to it and what I did and didn’t do as a clean and sober Christian.

For the most part I hid in fear. At family meals in the hotel bar, at the rehearsal where the wedding party was drinking and the rehearsal dinner afterwards. I sat in a corner and hid. Fear that I would be tempted to drink or fear that I would have to hold conversations about things I no longer talk about froze me. And the whole time I was thinking about how easily Jesus moved through parties and how he was able to hold conversations in the midst of Matthew’s party with no fear and only love for those he was talking to:

“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9: 9-13)

I know that the people at this party were drinking and living it up, but Jesus did not hide, he was there for a purpose and there was no fear in him!

For me by the time of the wedding reception, I knew I could withstand the temptations to drink but I still had not figured out how to be a presence for Jesus in a way not to scare folks off but to allow them to see Him and not me. I left Maryland on Monday still perplexed. But as I drove home the truth of what I knew all along was made clear to me. It was and is all about choice.

I can choose to hide my light under a basket and be fearful that I will offend someone by being who Jesus has transformed me to be, that is one choice. Or I can shine forth by allowing through prayer and humility and above all faith that if I act, speak and live like Jesus men will be drawn to his light through me. There is a song called ‘Lift Him Up’ and one verse goes like this:

How to reach the masses, men of every birth,
For an answer, Jesus gave the key:
“And I, if I be lifted up from the earth,
Will draw all men unto Me.”

I learned a lesson of choice this last weekend, I can live in fear of this world or I can truly trust Jesus and live as he seeks me to. I am more ready now than I was a week ago. For that I thank you, Lord!

Blessings,
John
6/19/19

It seems like it is the right time for a perspective of our ‘travels with grandkids’, now that all are back and safe. For more than two weeks we logged nearly 4000 miles. We drove through or visited 10 states, spent 6 nights in motel rooms and 8 days digging dinosaurs. Some of the historical or monumental spots we visited were, the St. Louis Arch, the grave site of Sargent Floyd (the only person to die during the Lewis and Clark expedition), the Corn Palace, Scotts Bluff, Chimney Rock, the Dino Museum in Hill City, SD and the Oglala National Grasslands in Nebraska. We saw flooding rivers all along the way that were so bad our travels had to be detoured just to get around them and our prayers went out to those suffering through such terrors. We skirted around a high plain ‘super cell’ that was filled with awesome power and beauty. But what we did the most was experience what the USA is all about, diversity of both land and of people. We did this while sharing the confined space of our rental SUV with our young grandkids.

Looking back on it now, I see for the most part, they are good kids but there were moments. Sometimes their infectious joy would lead to raucous laughter. Sometimes their lack of interest in the sites and beauty of the country we were traveling through was frustrating. We wanted so much for them to experience and see everything, to know the greatness of our land is still there to be absorbed. Instead their phones held their interest in ways that amazed us. I could only shake my head and pray that some of what we experienced was taken in by osmosis, if nothing else.

I know for RuthAnn and myself the trip was transforming and renewing. Of course, as I wrote about in an earlier blog the ‘dino’ experience was inspiring, filled with people living and working for the glory of God. But beyond that there was this huge, ever changing country where if you look beyond the concrete thoroughfares and fast food environs you can still see the majesty that displays the handiwork of God.

Driving through the Oglala Grasslands while a dark and ominous super cell spun ever so close. The clouds rising thousands of feet, colored from white to grey to black, swirling in cyclonic motion. Lightning flashing and powerful winds blowing the pristine green grasses of the high prairie in all directions. I could imagine how the Psalmist wrote: “They speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty- and I will meditate on your wonderful works.” (Psalm 145:5)

Earlier when we looked out from the high point where Sargent Floyd’s memorial stands, we saw the massive power of the Missouri River now overflowing its banks. There was no doubt that those in its path were feeling the pain of its might. It made me think, again, how glad I am to know that: “For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.” (Hebrews 13:14)

We saw so many things. Some so beautiful it brought us to tears, like the high plains and the majestic Black Hills. Other things like the poverty of the cities we drove through was ugly. We shared as much of this reality with our grandkids as we could hoping it would break into the social media world, they live in that has so little reality either beautiful or ugly. It is our prayer that some seeds were planted and as they take root that these words of God will become a reality: “Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.” (Psalm 25: 4-5)

So, for a short time we were home. But within a few days we were on the move again. There is a wedding taking place in Maryland near Washington DC. So RuthAnn and I loaded up the car and took off. It was just us this time and the car seemed a little empty after our travels with grandkids. We take heart that there will be other adventures ahead. But I don’t think there will ever be a trip quite like the one just finished. We started out with trepidation unsure if we would be able to handle two weeks with teenagers, but it ended up being more blessed than either of us could have imagined. God is so good…all the time! And all the time…God is so good!

Blessings and Happy Sabbath
John
6/14/19

As I wrote in my last blog our gang of four had traveled ¾ way across the country to find ourselves in the middle of one of God’s most beautiful places, the high plains of eastern Wyoming. So far, the trip had been a blessing and maybe some what of a surprise. I had not known what to expect of two teenagers traveling with two old timers for three days, they had been good as gold. But soon their fortitude was going to be put to the test, it was time to get dirty and dig for dino ‘bones’.

So, after an amazing Sabbath where the true purpose of this scientific outpost was shown. Nearly 50 people from all over the world gathered together, some for the full month and others like us there for just a short time. But all of us were there to worship the Creator. Without much proof, most of the world now believes the evolutionary theories expounded in most universities. But this is a group of Creationist/Scientists and volunteers who believe the Word of God is true and the science of these bones we were about to exhume prove it to be so. Last Sabbath we were blessed as the project leader spoke combining Biblical truth with hard fact science our hearts were stirred.

Sunday it was time for most of the first-time visitors, including our two young ones to explore the region. Within less than a two-hour ride is both Mount Rushmore and the mountain carving that is still in progress, Chief Crazy Horse. While the kids and most of the camp were doing the tourist thing. Work needed to be done to prepare for the first official day of digging. Kits for each participant filled with small tools needed to be put together along with large tools such as wheelbarrows and shovels needed to be distributed to the different dig sites, called quarries. At the same time the scientists had to prepared gps equipment and ready the vast technical and supervisory system that it would take to keep our team working as a unit in several locations. I found it fascinating and a blessing to see how this sleeping, remote research lab came alive through good natured teamwork, by evening the sites were prepared and the quarry teams assigned. Monday we would go to work.

For sure, Monday morning the test for the young ones would begin. In a camp where a large group of people are mostly living in tents and sharing meager facilities, one shower and two toilets for each of the sexes. Where each quarry team was assigned not only 8 hours of work digging, cleaning and recording our finds, but also sharing on a rotating basis the chores to keep the camp and facilities clean and the people fed, it would be a challenge for most adults but for our young ones I was not sure how they would react. Time would tell.

The camp comes alive every working day at 6:00 am when the group assigned the cook duties for that day begin to prepare breakfast. That was our team’s task Monday. Food was ready by 7:00 and by 7:30 the other teams were doing dishes and cleaning the facility. Then came the most beautiful part of the day. At 7:45 it is time for group worship.

Monday because of all the new routines it was late, but it was still a most inspiring time. Praise songs sung; a short devotion given by the day’s worship team. Like all things done on this site: ‘to God be the glory’. In the pristine setting as the rising sun was warming our bones the worship time together was warming our souls.

RuthAnn, the kids and I were assigned to North Quarry. A place where many bones have been found over the years. It is about a mile from camp and I love the walk out to the site, so Leyton, our young grandson and I headed out before the vans were filled with those who chose to ride. He was anxious to get going and so was I.

Once on site, the process of learning digging procedures was first order. I was happily surprised that our granddaughter, Anniston, took to it immediately. Slowly scraping away layers of soil and clay listening for the sound of when the tool meets bone. Leyton was not as patient or persistent. But both found bones within a short period of time. They learned to clean, care and leave the specimen in position until it was GPS surveyed. Then record it and store it properly. It is hard work but with the first day under everyone’s belt, I could see we were going to have a good week.

I think the hardest part of our adventure for the young ones was the idea of sharing and keeping in mind others needs. Camp life exemplifies Jesus most ardent admonition, “For the first will be last and the last first…” Water is precious and with small water heaters and only one shower, brevity is the order of the day. Leyton tried his best at this but it was a hard thing to grasp.

Camp life was good for the kids because they had others their age and were able to explore and have adventures. RuthAnn and I were happy that they could associate with people their age that were solid, young Christians. Except for going on a few of these adventures without permission both kids seemed to enjoy the experience.

As the day’s past, it was evident that Anniston was a doer and volunteered for tasks, persisting in assignments. Leyton, well he seemed to lose interest as the days went by. He found some nice specimens but by Wednesday, the dig no longer held his interest. So it was that Thursday I was in his area cleaning up the mounds he had left behind and because of that discovered a 120-centimeter femur! RuthAnn, Anniston and I went to work to uncover it. Tradition is that the person who discovers the bone gets credit for it in the records. But when you look this up in the future you will see Anniston’s name. A reward for her persistence and hard work.

We got the femur excavated pretty well by the time we left on Friday. We could tell the kids were ready to head home. As for RuthAnn and myself, it was a sad day. Leaving that beautiful environment and that group of Godly folks was hard. I had learned a lot again about the science. I had also learned a lot about the young ones who had tagged along. God had been good to us.

We broke camp and we on were our way by Friday afternoon. There were more adventures ahead but nothing would compare with the eight days we spent with like fellows, in a common purpose, to proclaim our Creator God:

“But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the LORD has done this? In his hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” (Job 12: 7-12)

I pray our grandkids will remember this time and know: ‘to God be the Glory.’

Blessings John
6/11/19