In this season of thanksgiving, it is often easy for me to see how blessed my life is. After all I have more worldly comfort than I could ask for or in my mind, have earned. A warm comfortable home that I share not only with my loving wife but am also blessed to share with our son and daughter-in-law. Yes, there are times when this is troublesome because we live different lives, but the blessings far outweigh the struggles. Also, I have had extended health in the cancer battle of over 16 years. I truly can say, “God is good!”
If this is true, I wonder why I sometimes find myself still lost because I cannot seem to see what I would want ‘God’s will’ for my life to be. Leading me to complain and often be so discouraged that I become frozen in what I do each day. Wasting of much of the precious gift of life that I have been granted.
The amazing thing is that the God we serve is so good that He is willing to overlook my selfish behavior and actually find ways to encourage and allow me to see that in so many ways I am living out His true will, if I am just willing to see it. Yesterday I was given one of those moments of encouragement that was so humbling it brought me to tears.
Some of you know that I spent most of this last year completing two books that have been on my heart for years. One is the testimony I have struggled to write since 2017. It is my story of salvation and the miracle of Jesus in my life after years of addiction and degradation. I was excited when it was finally published but became discouraged when so few copies of it were sold. No, not because of the money I would earn from sales but because I so wanted it to be read. I got lost again in the idea of what my will and God’s will are. This leads me back to yesterday.
It started as a routine day. Which seems too often now includes a doctor’s visit for either RuthAnn or me. This day it would be RuthAnn who was going to have to endure a cardiac stress test. This meant long hours for her being poked and prodded, also tests and treadmill. For me it meant hours of waiting and filling my time with useless reading of news and trivia. This was until RuthAnn sent me an interesting text, telling that a friend and pastor from my days at the Grants Pass, Oregon church had gotten a hold of a copy of my book. I felt blessed by this but thought little more about it until my phone rang. It was my pastor friend and what he had to share with me changed my day!
Without going into too much of our history together, I will just say that Pastor Tony was in my life in the year after my wife Dianne’s death and his intervention and love opened doors to a closer walk with Jesus. So much came out of that time including my need to share the miracle testimony I was blessed with. Yesterday, Tony would share again in a way that showed me why we are in each other’s lives. No accidents or coincidences, but God’s ordained will to serve others.
As Tony began to share, he startled me by telling me two things I was so humbled by that I really struggled to comprehend. The first was that he believed one of the reasons that he had been called to serve the Grants Pass church as a pastor was because of me. That our relationship which has led to so much was central to his time in that church. Of course, I was blown away by this and it would have been enough to encourage me, but he had more. As his conversation continued, he also spoke that as he read my book and he now knew that our paths had crossed years before in Livermore, California where I was working, and he was giving Bible studies that it was no coincidence. Again, this was powerful as I thought how amazing God’s timing and works are. Thinking that was all he had to share I began to tell him how blessed I felt by it. He stopped me and said there was more. The remainder of his story is where I felt that the hand of God is so beyond me that I was brought to tears.
As Tony shared it was a simple story of his being open to see divine appointments, those moments where the Holy Spirit leads us to be in the right place at the right time to share God’s absolute love with another. In this case it was on a flight from Las Vegas to Memphis. As Tony told it, he had prepared himself for this long flight by stocking up on a wholesome meal and prepare himself time to settle in and read my book. He had no assigned seat but allowed God to find him a place and that place was in a middle seat next to a young man sitting at the window next to him. Striking up a conversation, Tony asked why the young man had been in Las Vegas and was told it was a birthday that had brought him to the city and as they spoke Tony could tell he still was inebriated from his time of partying. The conversation slowed and Tony finally settled in to read. This continued until he reached the part of my story where the miracle of God’s grace began to change my life. As he read this, Tony knew that the Holy Spirit was telling him that he needed to speak to the young man next to him further.
Now there was no more small talk. Tony was led to ask what the young man was doing with his life, and did he know that there is a God who loves him and wants only the best for him. The answer was that there was a time when he believed this to be true but now was not sure. Again, the conversation slowed but this time due to the young man now growing ill from the alcohol he had consumed. Tony knew that he was going to be violently sick and tried to offer him his food bad to allow him to do what he needed to do without making a mess, but it did not work. As the young man was sick Tony sat next to him rubbing his back and just being there as a loving presence.
Once the plane landed Tony waited until he could have a moment with the stewardess to explain what had happened and to tell some extra cleaning would need to be done. Exiting the plane and as he waited for his luggage Tony waited to see if the young man would be there. They met once again at the baggage kiosk. The young man thanked Tony for his kindness and as they parted Tony was able to give him his card and open the door to further conversation. Now it will be the Holy Spirit’s work to open more doors for this young man, but I am sure He will!
As Tony finished this story, I knew once again that none of what I too often think about when I consider my writings is important. It does not matter how many books I sell just into whose hands each book goes. I was tearfully humbled to know that a life had been touched ignited by the words I was given to write. What a precious gift that is for me and how thankful should I be? The answer to that is still reverberating in my heart as I write this.
All I know as Tony prayed for us as we were parting that I had been changed again. That I knew my transformation was still ongoing and I realized how blessed I am. Before we hung up, I also knew another miracle had occurred and I could say with a full heart is God is good all the time and all the time God is good! To that I say a humble, Amen!
