Category: Love

Not talking about earthly love but the love of God. Learning to love as God has loved me.

Fear Not…

I can’t believe how long it has been since I have written a blog! I guess I have many excuses. Ministry, still working on my third book and the never-ending work of owning an old home and property, but it all seems a little lame when I look at these excuses! It really comes down to feeling I have written all I can about my life and workings of God in it, the reason I started writing a blog in the first place. After writing over 300 blogs and a testimonial book on the subject it seems redundant to sit and write more. I think by now anyone who has followed my story gets the point, Jesus can meet us right where we are and transform even the most despicable of lives. So, in prayer and thought I have wondered if I have anymore to say from this platform. The crazy thing is I still am not sure but one thing I know is that writing is how the Holy Spirit works in my life. Yikes, with all this said I have a few thoughts to share I pray they will be His words.

Ok, there has been a phrase that has been in my thoughts for days now. It seems everywhere I turn, no matter what I read or listen to. The phrase is “fear not”. This should seem like no big deal to those of you who are in the Word of God daily. This phrase in some form or another is in the Bible 365 times, one time for each day of the year. It is hard to read from any book in the Bible without stumbling across it. Still, when a phrase like this comes up in conversation and sermons ALONG with Bible readings I kind of get the idea that the Holy Spirit is trying to get my attention.

For most Christians even then this would not be that earth shattering. A basic truth espoused by ministers and Christian books alike is if we trust God, we have no reason to fear, right? Of course, one of the anthems of the Word, sermons and writings is summed up in this well used verse:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

You may be thinking by now, “Man, this guy really doesn’t have a reason to be writing!” Hang on for just a bit because there is something here that is if not earth shattering, is worth the read. Here is what the Holy Spirit has brought to my attention. There is a deeper reason why in God’s Word that this phrase comes up time and time again, most of us live our life in desperate fear.

It makes no difference if you have been a card-carrying Christian since birth or are a confirmed God hater, fear is more than likely one of the main themes of your life. You don’t believe me. Ok, let’s take an honest look. Think of a day when you never had a fearful thought. No worries about money, health, or just the nasty world we live in. Can you honestly do it? If so congrats! I cannot and neither could most of the humans in the Bible. Why else would God have to remind us so often not to be fearful? Truth time, fear is one of Satan’s favorite and easiest weapon to use, because we all were born with a flaw, it is called sin.

There was a time when I would have cried foul at this idea, being born into sin. Even if I had believed the Adam and Eve story, which I didn’t at the time, I think I would have said it just aint fair. Still, all I would have had to do was take an honest look at my life at the time and see that for some reason I was living in total fear. From the time I was a child afraid of the boogie-man under the bed to the jumbled life of fear as an addict. I was a mess and because I did not know Jesus did not understand, to me it was just the way it was. You live, you die, in between you run for your life.

Today, as I have stated, I still have fear in my life but there is a huge difference. It goes back to that verse from Isaiah where we see God’s response to fear and not only fear but to sin. There is a reason why I really do not need to fear and it is so cool. When you believe and you know the truth THEN you no longer need to be fearful or dismayed. God, the creator of the universe, will strengthen you and He will take you into His hand. A hand so righteous that even our terrible fears, our most awful sins can be washed away.

It comes down to this God’s Word is His plan of saving power and all of it culminates in Jesus, the one who lived life without fear and here is what he said about the cure for our lives filled with fear,

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Stop and ruminate on this verse for a bit. Jesus knew the human condition so well. He knew we walked through this place of trials laboring and drug down, loaded with fear. Again, like in Isaiah 41:10 God is offering us rest from all of it. As in Isaiah it is Jesus, the Word made flesh, reiterating the promise to uphold us in His righteousness. Take notice that there are no conditions here. Jesus does not say go get rid of all your junk and then come to me. No, He offers this freely. Our only job is to believe that He can do it.

That is the difference in my life today. I believe Jesus can do exactly what he says. I believe God’s Word when it says, “Fear not”. Is it that simple? Yes, it is and also that hard. Satan hates the idea of me living without fear. So, he continues to whisper to me about my life of sin, hoping I will hang on to the guilt and shame. Sometimes it still works. The fear returns. It is then I cry out to the One who offers to cover me in His righteousness and give me His rest. One by one I lay my burdens down, again. By God’s grace it has gotten easier knowing the door is always open and today I can tell you, “Fear not!” rest is a prayer away!

Blessings

John

7/26/2023

Free Will is a Matter of Choice…

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An early Christmas gift…

In this season of thanksgiving, it is often easy for me to see how blessed my life is. After all I have more worldly comfort than I could ask for or in my mind, have earned. A warm comfortable home that I share not only with my loving wife but am also blessed to share with our son and daughter-in-law. Yes, there are times when this is troublesome because we live different lives, but the blessings far outweigh the struggles. Also, I have had extended health in the cancer battle of over 16 years. I truly can say, “God is good!”

If this is true, I wonder why I sometimes find myself still lost because I cannot seem to see what I would want ‘God’s will’ for my life to be. Leading me to complain and often be so discouraged that I become frozen in what I do each day. Wasting of much of the precious gift of life that I have been granted.

The amazing thing is that the God we serve is so good that He is willing to overlook my selfish behavior and actually find ways to encourage and allow me to see that in so many ways I am living out His true will, if I am just willing to see it. Yesterday I was given one of those moments of encouragement that was so humbling it brought me to tears.

Some of you know that I spent most of this last year completing two books that have been on my heart for years. One is the testimony I have struggled to write since 2017. It is my story of salvation and the miracle of Jesus in my life after years of addiction and degradation. I was excited when it was finally published but became discouraged when so few copies of it were sold. No, not because of the money I would earn from sales but because I so wanted it to be read. I got lost again in the idea of what my will and God’s will are. This leads me back to yesterday.

It started as a routine day. Which seems too often now includes a doctor’s visit for either RuthAnn or me. This day it would be RuthAnn who was going to have to endure a cardiac stress test. This meant long hours for her being poked and prodded, also tests and treadmill. For me it meant hours of waiting and filling my time with useless reading of news and trivia. This was until RuthAnn sent me an interesting text, telling that a friend and pastor from my days at the Grants Pass, Oregon church had gotten a hold of a copy of my book. I felt blessed by this but thought little more about it until my phone rang. It was my pastor friend and what he had to share with me changed my day!

Without going into too much of our history together, I will just say that Pastor Tony was in my life in the year after my wife Dianne’s death and his intervention and love opened doors to a closer walk with Jesus. So much came out of that time including my need to share the miracle testimony I was blessed with. Yesterday, Tony would share again in a way that showed me why we are in each other’s lives. No accidents or coincidences, but God’s ordained will to serve others.

As Tony began to share, he startled me by telling me two things I was so humbled by that I really struggled to comprehend. The first was that he believed one of the reasons that he had been called to serve the Grants Pass church as a pastor was because of me. That our relationship which has led to so much was central to his time in that church. Of course, I was blown away by this and it would have been enough to encourage me, but he had more. As his conversation continued, he also spoke that as he read my book and he now knew that our paths had crossed years before in Livermore, California where I was working, and he was giving Bible studies that it was no coincidence. Again, this was powerful as I thought how amazing God’s timing and works are. Thinking that was all he had to share I began to tell him how blessed I felt by it. He stopped me and said there was more. The remainder of his story is where I felt that the hand of God is so beyond me that I was brought to tears.

As Tony shared it was a simple story of his being open to see divine appointments, those moments where the Holy Spirit leads us to be in the right place at the right time to share God’s absolute love with another. In this case it was on a flight from Las Vegas to Memphis. As Tony told it, he had prepared himself for this long flight by stocking up on a wholesome meal and prepare himself time to settle in and read my book. He had no assigned seat but allowed God to find him a place and that place was in a middle seat next to a young man sitting at the window next to him. Striking up a conversation, Tony asked why the young man had been in Las Vegas and was told it was a birthday that had brought him to the city and as they spoke Tony could tell he still was inebriated from his time of partying. The conversation slowed and Tony finally settled in to read. This continued until he reached the part of my story where the miracle of God’s grace began to change my life. As he read this, Tony knew that the Holy Spirit was telling him that he needed to speak to the young man next to him further.

Now there was no more small talk. Tony was led to ask what the young man was doing with his life, and did he know that there is a God who loves him and wants only the best for him. The answer was that there was a time when he believed this to be true but now was not sure. Again, the conversation slowed but this time due to the young man now growing ill from the alcohol he had consumed. Tony knew that he was going to be violently sick and tried to offer him his food bad to allow him to do what he needed to do without making a mess, but it did not work. As the young man was sick Tony sat next to him rubbing his back and just being there as a loving presence.

Once the plane landed Tony waited until he could have a moment with the stewardess to explain what had happened and to tell some extra cleaning would need to be done. Exiting the plane and as he waited for his luggage Tony waited to see if the young man would be there. They met once again at the baggage kiosk. The young man thanked Tony for his kindness and as they parted Tony was able to give him his card and open the door to further conversation. Now it will be the Holy Spirit’s work to open more doors for this young man, but I am sure He will!

As Tony finished this story, I knew once again that none of what I too often think about when I consider my writings is important. It does not matter how many books I sell just into whose hands each book goes. I was tearfully humbled to know that a life had been touched ignited by the words I was given to write. What a precious gift that is for me and how thankful should I be? The answer to that is still reverberating in my heart as I write this.

All I know as Tony prayed for us as we were parting that I had been changed again. That I knew my transformation was still ongoing and I realized how blessed I am. Before we hung up, I also knew another miracle had occurred and I could say with a full heart is God is good all the time and all the time God is good! To that I say a humble, Amen!