Month: October 2020

It was almost 9:00 AM and I had been at it for over 2 hours. Getting up at six, I had come downstairs to find my father already at the kitchen table. I could smell coffee from the simmering percolator on the stove and a whiff of slightly burnt toast also hung in the warm air that met me as I came through the kitchen door.

My father grunted a greeting and mumbled something like, “If you want to work you need to be up with the chickens.” I acknowledged his comment and nothing more. I did not want to do anything to jeopardize this day I had been promised for a long time, the day I would go to work with my father and actually lay block on a retaining wall he was building.

I had spent more than a few Saturdays as a ‘hoddie’, the only day that my father could work this ‘side job’. It was my job as hoddie to hump mortar and block to my father and his partner Hank. And each day the old man would say to Hank, “What do ya, think? Should we let the boy have a shot at laying some block?” Hank would just smile and say nothing or maybe nod. On the way home last Saturday, he had let me know that it was agreed that today would be the day. Today I was going to lay block.

So, now after two hours of mixing mortar and carrying enough block to lay a three tier lift of block along the 25’ footing that was my job today, I was ready. I snapped a chalk line on the footing, laid out my first bed of mortar and carefully placed block after block, always toeing the line on the footing. Within an hour I was ready for the second tier. I did it all as I had seen and been instructed, setting up string lines and laying block straight, by eleven I had my first lift in place. I sought out my father to inspect the work.

He and Hank rambled over from the house wall they were finishing and as he approached, I could see he was not happy, and my joy soon turned to fear. Soon enough my fear turned to tears. Without so much as a pause he started at one end kicking at the wall,  and as the not set mortar let loose under his brute force the blocks tumbled. Within a few minutes my mornings work was in a shamble. Now out of breath, my father stopped in front of me and growled, “Even a five-year-old could have done a better job than that! Pick up these blocks and clean them off. I don’t have time for amateurs!” Through my embarrassed tears I could see Hank’s face contorted in sarcastic laughter. It was more than a ten-year-old could bear.

 In my recovery from alcohol and drug abuse I have always pointed to this event as the beginning of my feeling of inadequacy. The feeling that I could never do anything well enough. If a marriage failed it had to be me who was not trying hard enough. If a job I was working on got messed up, it had to be because I was just not smart enough or talented enough to do it right. So many times, I have gone back to being that little boy who strived so hard to get his dad’s approval only to have him kick my best efforts into the dirt. Have you been there? Are you there right now?

This story came up yesterday in a conversation with my friend Cheri Peters. We were discussing the buried junk that keeps us from seeing God as He is and wants to be seen and just as John the Evangelist described Him:

 “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16 Part.)

If you were raised by a father who did not show you his love, you more than likely have spent your life, so far, doubting that there is a heavenly Father that loves you or even more is love itself. I know through my recovery that this has been true for me. It took me years and Cheri’s program Celebrating Life in Recovery to find that God was in love with me!

Here is a quote from Celebrating Life in Recovery: Steps to Christ, Week 1 God is Crazy About You:

“Did Jesus die to convince the Father to save us? Absolutely not! It was the Father who sent Him, and God sent Jesus because He’s crazy about us. Jesus said, “The Father loves me because I lay down my life that I may have it back again” (John10:17). He wanted us to know that the Father loves us just as much as He does. In fact, “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son” (John 3:16). The Father gave Jesus to us because He can’t bear to lose us. Through Jesus, God poured out His relentless love upon a bruised and broken world. “God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself” (2 Corinthians 5:19). God suffered with His Son. In the agony of Jesus’ suffering and His awful death on the cross, God paid the price of our full recovery. (Participants Book #1 pp. 25-26)

Do you see it? God’s love is relentless. He so loved us that He was willing to sacrifice His Son to save you and me. How crazy is that? Even more how amazing it is! And all He asks in return is that we believe and surrender all of our junk to Him!

I am sure today that some of you reading this may have had a parent that was so much worse than mine. I just want you to know that God is NOT that parent. He is not mean or violent or condemning. He wants to love you like you have never been loved before. It can happen today. He has a plan for your life, my friend. The prophet Jeremiah spoke these inspired words! You just need to believe and let Him in:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

That day long ago still haunts me but now every time I think of it, I smile a bit. I know who my Father is, and I know the only walls He wants to kick down are the ones keeping me from His presence! He is ready to kick yours down too!

Blessings

John

10/26/20

“What do ya want?” I asked as I opened the door. A young man and young woman stood there, smiling. Before they could speak I said, “I don’t want any, I don’t need saving, I already know all I want to know about Jesus. Just leave me alone.” But as I was about the slam the door, the young man said something that stopped me, “Sir, I have your life in my hands! You need to think about that!”

I opened the door a little wider and looked at him with a cold stare, “What are you talking about, are you threatening me?” He just smiled even broader and said, “No, no threats, just truth. I hold in my hand the book of life and I am sure that it could save yours! At this I just swore and slammed the door for good.

As I returned to the front room, passing by the stereo, I cranked it up. I had been listening to Bob Dylan’s new album, but not really paying a lot of attention. It had come with a few others in the mail from the Record Club of America. Now as I sat down, I heard lyrics saying:

“…Surrender your crown on the blood-stained ground, take off your mask. He sees your deeds even before you ask. How long can you falsely deny what is real?…”

I rummaged around to find the album cover, “Long Train Coming” turning it over, I saw that it was songs about God and Jesus. I shook my head and mumbled, “This ain’t right, no matter where I turn these days someone is trying to sell me their religion!” I got up and took the album off the turntable and sailed it across the room, hitting the wall it broke. Smiling, I said, “Now that is what I am talking about!” Looking through my albums I found Led Zeppelin and as it’s loud rhythms filled the room. I sank back in my chair, taking a pull from the whiskey bottle sitting next to it, I whispered “Peace at last!” and closed my eyes in a drunken stupor.

Man, most of my life I fought to keep the message of Jesus out. I really wanted no part of whatever He was all about. I cannot tell you how many times the incident above played out. Some one would come to the door offering to talk to me about Jesus. Most times they never got past the opening line, if that. This particular guy I remembered because he shocked me with the line he used, it was effective. But in the end, I shut him down too. Anytime I heard anyone or anything referring to the Savior, wham, I shut it out. Period.

I know there are a lot of people out there like me. Maybe not as hardcore but just as adamant about closing the door every time Jesus knocks. My friends, I get it. But all I can say today is, “Give Jesus a chance and listen to this from God’s Word: “Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts…” (Hebrews 3:15a) You can know that everyday God is giving you an opportunity to change the life you are living. I know if you are struggling with addictions or depression or just life in the pressure cooker that is our world today, life ain’t all that great. The question is what do you have to lose. And even more maybe it is time to think what you have got to gain!

When you get to know God, really know Him. You will find this amazing love. I know you have probably been told or have come to believe that He is some vindictive being that is waiting to smack you around every time you fail but I have come to know, He is not. He is a God that loved us so much, He did this, “God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Have you ever loved anyone that much? Do you have a child you would sacrifice for a complete stranger? Our God did that, for you and for me. How can you turn away from love like that? Even this old lush was changed when I saw and believed it.

I know, you have heard this all before. Just another guy who was ‘born again’ trying to convince the world to believe in a God who doesn’t exist. If you are feeling this way, I understand. I have been there. But I want to tell a story Jesus told about the love of God. It is a famous story to those who read the Bible, found in the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 15. Most people know it as the Prodigal Son. I will tell it in my own words, then I am done, and it is up to you. Here is how it goes.

There was a rich farmer who had two sons. His youngest was kind of wild and the oldest was not. One day the youngest tells his dad, “I can’t hang around here forever, this farm is boring. I know you have some money laid aside for me. Give it to me now and I am out of here.” The father knows better, but he also knows the only way his son will see truth is to be out in the world on his own. He gives him the money. Of course, the son goes out and blows it all on partying and soon is broke with no friends to his name especially since the money has run out. So, he gets a job cleaning up after pigs, for so little pay he can barely eat. One day he thinks, “I will go home and work for my dad as a hired hand. I know he pays them better than this.” He came far and finally as he is walking up the farm road, his father sees him from a long way off and comes running out to meet him. And even though he is dirty and smell even worse wraps his arms around him and hugs him hard. He tells his hired hands to get the best clothes and shoes, even puts a ring on his finger. The son tries to tell him that he is willing earn his keep now, but the father won’t even listen. All he knows is that this son who was lost is now found. Let the party begin! (paraphrase from Luke 15:11-24)

That is the God I have come to know. He allowed me for over 56 years to wallow in every pig sty I could. Still stinking of every kind of sin. Yet the moment I decided to come to Him, He was there with open arms and He is there waiting for you. Yes, His Son, Jesus, has already died for your and my sins. And that is love, my friends. Love I never knew or understood. But today I am blessed to share it with you. All you got to do is ask, His arms are open, nothing you have done can stop Him from loving you. Enough said… at least for now.

Blessings John
10/19/20

As I sit here in sleepy Byron, Georgia today, the fierce heat of summer has faded. For most this is what they wait for all year. I really don’t understand it. If you are living in a place renowned for heat and humidity, I expect you would like those things. Yet, living here for about four years now, I have heard little else but complaining about both heat and humidity.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know why I would find that strange. When I lived in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan folks complained about the cold and snow. Living in Washington and Oregon there were all kinds of complaints about rain. No matter where I have lived, it seems the old saying is true, the grass is always greener somewhere else. Problem is few ever venture out to find that greener grass, they are just content to stay and complain.

My experience has been a little different. Because of my vagabond trade, I have lived in many different places in this beautiful country. In some of those, like the more permanent residents, I took to complaining about the weather. Believe me, when I had to climb up on a building near Marquette, Michigan where the temperature had dipped to 10 below zero and walking ice laden beams, you could have heard me crying for quite a way. Bent over in the pouring rain tying rebar while working on a nuke plant outside Elma, Washington, yeah, my tears flowed as fast as the water running down my back! Saying nothing about the tropical heat of a muddy swamp now known as the Epcot Center, in Orlando, Florida or the blinding afternoon sandstorms in the Borrego Desert of Southern California building a water treatment plant for retired golfers. I have lived many, spring, summer, fall and winters of discontent!

So, what’s the big deal? Why do I bother writing about something that every person knows and complains about: the  weather? Well, here’s the thing! When I went outside yesterday morning and the air was crisp with the first touches of fall and I didn’t have a jacket on, I thought of Adam in the garden of Eden. I know, it is a weird thought, but stay with me for a minute. It came to me that Adam and Eve, of course, were naked. No clothes, just walking around they must have been neither cold or hot, perfect temperature control. No air conditioners or heaters just a perfect breeze blowing over the amazing landscape. My next thought was one I have had a lot lately: how did we get here?

In the west the drought conditions and overbearing heat has led to another season of devastating fires. While hurricane after hurricane has battered the gulf coast in the south east, with rain and flooding. Around the world the weather seems to reflect our attitude of desperation as wave after wave of an out of control virus makes a shamble of our lives. Yes, all of this came to me just because I needed to go back in the house to retrieve a jacket, weird, huh? Maybe not as weird as you might think!

Lately, I have been seeing all the signs around me that this once perfect world is on its last legs. Hard not too, right? It could make me or you morbid or even worse fearful. But for me it has actually given me hope. Let me explain!

For the most part it is simple. I believe in the soon coming of Jesus Christ and know that before this spectacular event happens certain things must take place. Christian writer Ellen White put it this way:

“Christ upon the Mount of Olives rehearsed the fearful judgments that were to precede His second coming: “Ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: … Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorrows” [Matthew 24:6-8]. While these prophecies received a partial fulfillment at the destruction of Jerusalem, they have a more direct application in the last days.”—Testimonies for the Church 5:753 (1899). 

Looking at the signs from this quote we can see that we ARE in the last days and the troubles and sorrows that face us ARE happening. For sure if we keep our eyes on the trouble, we will never take hold of the promise of hope:

“For there will be greater anguish than at any time since the world began. And it will never be so great again. In fact, unless that time of calamity is shortened, not a single person will survive. But it will be shortened for the sake of God’s chosen ones.” (Matthew 24: 21-22)

Jesus told us that this time is not going to be long and if we are clinging to him, as God’s chosen (because we have chosen him) we will survive to be once again in that place of perfect climate and peace:

“I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with them. He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”” (Revelation 21: 3-4) (May I add, maybe somewhat Irreverently, no more complaining about the weather.)

The new heaven and earth are close at hand, my friends! So, there is no time to complain. No time to live in fear. Today we can live in hope. But just surviving and living is not enough. That is why I want to share this hope with you! The pain and sorrow of this world is real, but it is temporary! Today heed this verse:

“Remember what it says: “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled.”” (Hebrews 3:15)

Jesus is waiting for you to turn to him! And there is no better time than right now. He will comfort you in this time of trouble and lead you to the world wear you will never need to go back and get a jacket again!

Blessings

John

10/5/20