I was reminded again over this last weekend that life is all about choices. Some of them are so basic that they would seem to be ‘no brainers’. Things like the route taken in heavy traffic. That certainly shouldn’t be life changing. But then there are the choices which define who we are or who we strive to be, and I was faced with more than a few of those as the weekend progressed.
Some of you know that RuthAnn’s daughter had been planning a wedding for a long time. It was literally over two years ago that we became involved in the plans. RuthAnn was asked and accepted the honor of walking Sarah down the aisle and then giving her away. Normally a father’s job, but Sarah’s father and RuthAnn’s husband passed away several years ago and so the honor came to ‘Mom’. That was the beginning.
Then came all the other plans that make some couples decide just to elope and get it over with. Dresses and tuxedos. Food and cake. Let alone the wedding itself and the reception afterwards. All of it became one decision after another. But little by little Sarah got it all together, designating some of the needs and wants to RuthAnn to help with. One of those was canning 140- 1/4-quart jars of preserves 40 of each apple, strawberry and peach. These were given to the guests at the reception as a gift. Was an experience getting these done and transported from our place in Georgia to Sarah’s home in Maryland just north of DC. It got done like so many other things that go into planning such an event.
I guess I digress a bit. I started out writing about choices and it was actually the wedding and all of the events that surround it that led me to the choices I struggled with and also left me with questions about who I am today and how I approach life as a follower of Jesus Christ.
To understand some of this you certainly have to understand my background. For most of you reading this I think you well know that I lived a life so much different than I do today. Addicted to alcohol and drugs I filled my life with selfish pursuits and left a trail of pain along the way. During that time one of my favorite things was to party and nothing was better than events where free booze flowed. Just like the wedding and all its events we attended this weekend.
Now let me say this right off the top. I am not opposed to responsible alcohol drinking. If someone enjoys a glass of wine or an alcoholic drink it is fine with me. But I was never able to do such a thing. If I had one, I was going to have as many as I could, there would be no stopping me. So, it was not the idea that there was alcohol at every event we went to during the weekend. I think with secular weddings this is to be expected. No, it was more about my reaction to it and what I did and didn’t do as a clean and sober Christian.
For the most part I hid in fear. At family meals in the hotel bar, at the rehearsal where the wedding party was drinking and the rehearsal dinner afterwards. I sat in a corner and hid. Fear that I would be tempted to drink or fear that I would have to hold conversations about things I no longer talk about froze me. And the whole time I was thinking about how easily Jesus moved through parties and how he was able to hold conversations in the midst of Matthew’s party with no fear and only love for those he was talking to:
“While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9: 9-13)
I know that the people at this party were drinking and living it up, but Jesus did not hide, he was there for a purpose and there was no fear in him!
For me by the time of the wedding reception, I knew I could withstand the temptations to drink but I still had not figured out how to be a presence for Jesus in a way not to scare folks off but to allow them to see Him and not me. I left Maryland on Monday still perplexed. But as I drove home the truth of what I knew all along was made clear to me. It was and is all about choice.
I can choose to hide my light under a basket and be fearful that I will offend someone by being who Jesus has transformed me to be, that is one choice. Or I can shine forth by allowing through prayer and humility and above all faith that if I act, speak and live like Jesus men will be drawn to his light through me. There is a song called ‘Lift Him Up’ and one verse goes like this:
How to reach the masses, men of every birth,
For an answer, Jesus gave the key:
“And I, if I be lifted up from the earth,
Will draw all men unto Me.”
I learned a lesson of choice this last weekend, I can live in fear of this world or I can truly trust Jesus and live as he seeks me to. I am more ready now than I was a week ago. For that I thank you, Lord!
Blessings,
John
6/19/19
