“What to do when your inspiration is gobbled up by a computer? That is the situation I am in right now. I had a complete blog written nearly 1000 words and I stopped to work on a computer issue, computer reboot and poof my blog was gone. I mean lost without hope of recovery. Has this ever happened to you? You have spent hours working on a project and next thing you know it disappears. It happened to me many times when I was working with CAD programs and every time I would have this feeling of loss, of wasted time.
But today was different. I had felt inspired as I do often when I sit down to write. The words flowed well. I believed the Holy Spirit was working and I really love when that happens. In an instant it was gone. And even worse I could not reconstruct it no matter how hard I tried.
For over an hour I went from one emotion to another. First I held a ‘pity party’ for about 15 minutes. Then went through a time of desperation, believing there had to be a way to recover it. Then I got angry and wanted to whack my computer around, show it who was boss. But do you know what I never did in that entire hour? I never once stopped to pray and ask God if maybe there was a reason I wasn’t supposed to publish that blog, or He had another plan for me today. Nope, I only came to that after I had exhausted all my other options. Score it, World -1, God – 0!
At times, when I read the gospels, I feel superior to the apostles. Here they were living with the Son of God and they didn’t get it. Yeah, I can get feeling pretty good about myself. Then I have a meltdown over something as simple as a lost Word document and it comes clear to me again in a humbling way, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)
My problem is that I have short term memory loss. I can be humbled as I feel right now for an hour maybe even a day, then I when the next bump in the road comes along, I find myself back here again. The apostle Paul must have experience something like this himself, in the book of Romans he says this, “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. So, I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being. But I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.” (Romans 7:21-23) Reading this it seems all so hopeless. We want to do good but somehow end up doing what we do not want. And if the next two verses were not added I believe that hopelessness would be true. But Paul goes on to say, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ.” (Romans 7:24-25)
Yes, it seems like daily I struggle with the little things and maybe turn them into big things. For sure I turn myself over to pettiness and anger. But I can say thanks be to God, because there is a Holy Spirit to remind me that even as I am that wretched man Paul speaks of, in the end I believe in a Savior who saves completely. And He says it is never too late to turn to Him.
So today, I guess there was something else God had in mind for me. Instead of finishing my blog early and getting on with my day. I have had pretty much a full day of reflection on what I should do when problems of my life occur. I can only pray the next time a mini crisis hit home the Holy Spirit will bring this verse to mind, “Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 4:6-7) Good advice, don’t you think? Leave anxiety to the one who can bring peace. To that I can say Amen!
Blessings John
1/10/18
