Why was she being so kind to me? Hadn’t I just called her every name in the book and even some that are too crude to make the book. Yet here she was smiling and getting my papers in order, so I would have all the information I needed. More than likely in a few minutes I would be suggesting to my bosses that she be on the list of employees who would be laid off due to the construction slow down. Maybe that is it, I thought, she is trying to butter me up. Trying to remind me how much I needed her organizational skills. Well, it wasn’t going to work. Right now, it was my job to trim down this department and that is what I was going to do.
As I filled my briefcase with the papers she had just placed on my desk, I felt I should apologize for my latest outburst. It was the least I could do seeing the next time I saw her I would be bringing her pink slip. But naww, I wasn’t going to show any weakness right now. Anyway, she had been in the wrong and had messed up my correspondences and emails. Why should I be apologizing to her, it should be the other way around, shouldn’t it?
When I looked up she was still there waiting and smiling. It made me angry and I felt like jumping down her throat all over again. But instead I said, “Why don’t you make yourself useful. Finish the copies I need for today’s releases. Why are you just standing there grinning like that?” She shook her head and said, “I know your upset about what you are going to have to do today, but don’t worry, everyone here knows that the cutbacks are coming. No one is going to blame you.” At that I barked out a laugh, “You think I am upset because they are finally going to cut out the dead weight around here? No way, I have been waiting for this day for a long time. Don’t worry about me, you better worry about you.”
With that I picked up my briefcase and headed for the door. She followed me and touched my arm, “John, you can be a foul man to work for and I have struggled to show you the kindness that only comes from knowing Jesus. But I want you to know I have prayed each morning before coming to work that the kindness He has shown me would be revealed to you. I am leaving here at the end of the week or I will give you a two week notice if you prefer. Either way I wanted to relief you of one burden as you head into this meeting, do not worry about me.” I wanted to come up with a snide remark but for once in my life I was silent. She smiled earnestly and pushed me out the door. For some reason I felt better than I had a right to. Looking back through the glass door I raised my hand in a half wave and she nodded.
It is now evident to me how many acts of kindness were shown to me in my years of total rebellion against God. Most of the time those acts were met with at best cynicism or at worse outright rudeness and anger. I would suspect there were motives behind the person’s kindness reflecting my bitterness on to their innocent act. But every now and again the Holy Spirit would work through someone and it would open the door to let light into darkness I lived in. For that moment I saw something I could not argue with, criticize or doubt. The incident I just described was one of those moments.
I have thought about it a lot since becoming a follower of Jesus and in fact have written a blog about this same incident last year. The reason that it has stayed with me is that in a time when most people would be angry or bitter. Let me tell you others that day I had to lay off were! This girl’s only concern was for my welfare and not laying any more burdens on me. And maybe I could have been more cynical about that incident but when I reflected on her entire time spent working for me, I saw a pattern which I now recognize as the very thing Jesus asks us to do, “But I tell unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matthew 5:44) That to me is what Christian kindness is and it can only come through the fruit of the Holy Spirit, our total connection with Him.
I still struggle with this fruit. Yesterday was my last radiation treatment. I was ready to shake everyone’s hands at the office I had been going to for about a month and a half. But my dear wife wanted to do more. She wanted to bake them all cookies and show them kindness in return for kindness. My thought was, “they get paid to do it, why do I need to reward them?” I still didn’t get the point. Kindness is more than being ‘nice’ it is being like Jesus, willing to go that extra mile, all the way to the cross. RuthAnn baked those cookies and wrote a card too. Like my employee so many years ago, she showed me what it really means to live as a ‘kind’ person. I pray today, I will be more like both of these good women.
Blessings and Happy Sabbath,
John
6/15/18
