I love a good discussion. Back in the days before political correctness we used to call them arguments. My problem was that some of the time these ‘discussions’ would become violent and fisticuffs would ensue. And if I am willing to admit it too many times I tried to settle my disagreements with others using violent means. Today I want to share one of those incidents. I am going to clean up the language and even some of the circumstances because they do not add to the story or its purposes.
I think it must have been in 1985. The exact year is a little foggy to me. Again, it is not important to the story. I was living in Ogden, Utah at the time and was sharing an apartment with my partner, I will call him Sam. Sam and I had a turbulent relationship that had started when I came to work for his company in San Diego, California. He had wanted to be able to expand into larger concrete reinforcing projects and I was hired to help him do just that. From the first we were like oil and water. He had always been the ‘big boss’ and now taking orders from me did not sit well with him. Also, both of us were struggling with alcohol and drug addictions, fueling our personality conflicts. Being asked by a company in Utah to become their reinforcing placer, we had put aside our difference and made the commitment to live and work together, but it was not working out well.
The day I am writing about started like most others. We had a project by the Ogden airfield and needed to be onsite before 7:00 am. Both of us had drank copious amounts of booze the night before and were, to say the least, irritable. Once onsite, I took command barking out orders to both Sam and the few other men working for us. I could tell right away that it was going to be one of those days, Sam was already muttering under his breath and doing his best to get under my skin. He was succeeding, and I fought back by giving him even more orders and making sure he was doing more than his share. Just before morning break, it happened, he muttered derogatory words directed at me and that is when our ‘discussion’ began.
The one thing I did not tell you is that Sam was a big guy. Just about as tall as me at 6’-1” but outweighing me by a good 50 pounds and he was a good brawler. None of this deterred me from getting in his face after he called me the names he had. Already boiling I laid into him with a streak of expletives describing his birth and mother and maybe his father too! Sam returned words in kind. Soon we had a crowd gathered around us, our own employees and others working on the site. My eyes were only on Sam and as our words became more heated, I cannot remember who threw the first punch but soon we were on the ground hitting, scratching and wrestling like 10-year-old kids. I think one of us would have ended up dead, probably me, if the general contractor’s superintendent and about three of his guys did not pull us apart. It was bad.
Here we were, the company owner and his superintendent fighting on the job. This normally would demand an expulsion from the project but because of who we were, it ended up we were fined and reported to our supplier who paid our monthly draws. All because Sam and I had little or no self-control. And certainly, had no moral center.
Today I look at the world around me and it seems that all of us are in the same place I was back then, ready at the drop of a hat to fight over simple ideological ideas. That we who claim we are a Christian nation cannot remember who we take our name from, Jesus Christ. I don’t want to get involved in politics here, that is not my goal. I just wonder if we who follow Jesus really understand his words, his heart, and his life and death? It leads me again this morning to want to add these words from the Sermon on the Mount, we call them the beatitudes:
3Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy.
8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. (Matthew 5: 3-12)
I especially want to look at verses 11 and 12, really read them and try to understand what Jesus is saying. Today can I feel blessed when someone insults me or says false things about me. Do I understand that if I do not respond in kind, it is in there the blessing lies? That if my mind is on Jesus’ kingdom and his reward for me none of it matters. Because even God’s people, the prophets were treated the same way. Can I keep these and all the words of the beatitudes in my mind and heart today? Can you? Can we see others through the eyes of Jesus? Imagine the change that would happen in our world!
Sam and I parted ways not long after that ‘discussion’. Only to partner up again and then end it once again in a brawl. We have never spoken to one another since that time, but I hold nothing but regrets and prayers in my heart for him. I pray he does the same. May we all find the joy of Jesus and the end of all discussions in Him!
Blessing, John
10/8/18
