Don’t you love the commercials expounding the wonders of living in our ‘golden years’? If you watched these parodies you could almost believe that life after 60 is so wonderful that it puts being young all to shame. There is only one problem, at least in my experience, I am not one of those glowing grey hairs portrayed on the screen. No, my life as a senior has left many things to be desired.
Like most of us who live in the real world, most nights I struggle with sleep and most days I struggle staying awake. After years of Ironwork, my joints are somewhat worn. They seem to creak and crack almost in a sad kind of rhythm. And I do not know if it is a result of the gallons upon gallons of booze I drank or the myriad lines of drugs I snorted or just that my brain is old, but it doesn’t work as well as it once did. Don’t even get me going on the joys of living with cancer with all it’s lovely hot flashes and night sweats. No, my golden years are certainly not an advertisement for the joy of aging. So, with all that being said, why do I live with more joy today than I did as a healthy youth? Aww, now we come upon the one true advantage of age for hard headed and hard-hearted guys like me: living long enough to know better! Through the grace of God, I have lived long enough to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. So, in fact, I am in my golden years after all.
The truth is some people come to the realization of their need for a Savior at an early age. When I was first coming to the Lord, I could be just a little bit jealous of these folks. Their lives seemed so perfect. Their kids were happy and healthy. How come they are so blessed, I would think. Why did I have to struggle all those years to come to a place they knew from the get-go? For more than a few years I did not understand God’s timing or reasoning about this, and yes, I was a bit… no I was a lot resentful. But like so many things with us as hard headed humans, it took a tragedy in my life to finally allow me to see that I have been blessed beyond all reason. Let me explain.
I had slowly come to the Lord since 2009 and by 2012 I could say I truly believed in Jesus Christ and the Word of God as my plan for salvation. You could say I was ‘head’ saved. I knew all the stuff it took to be a Christian and for the most part I was living as one. I was no longer the scoundrel I had once been. Gone was the filthy language. No more drinking or doing drugs. I prayed every day and read my Bible come rain or shine. Yep, I was a bonafide Christian for sure or at least my head had been saved. Not so for my heart.
Then came the tragic year 2014. My already ailing wife went through one devastating health set back after another. Until shortly after Christmas she succumb to the cancer, she had lived with for over 14 years. All of a sudden, I was alone. Not just physically but emotionally and even more importantly, spiritually. Now it was time to sink or swim. I could no longer wade in the shallow end of the pool of faith and I knew it. But how? How could my ‘head’ salvation travel that 12” journey to my heart? The fact was it was time for my Romans 8:28 moment.
That verse says this: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) God was about to take the tragedy of death and use it to work good in my life as promised.
In March of 2015 still lost in the blackness of grieve and spiritually scared to death, a young pastor asked me to become his co-leader in Wednesday night prayer meetings. At first, I thought, man, this dude is crazy. Why would you want to put a guy who is doubting everything in front of a bunch of praying folks? This is a formula for disaster. But I went along just because I didn’t have the strength to fight it. And by the end of the first meeting I led, I was sure I had been right. I was not cut out for this. But the strangest thing happened. After the meeting I wanted to just sneak out, but I was surrounded by people thanking me for the powerful testimony and prayer time. My testimony was powerful? My prayer was meaningful? I wasn’t convinced but as it continued to happen, I saw God’s affirmation of who I was in his eyes and that led to deeper prayer and meaningful Bible study. I finally realized that all my life led to this place, this special relationship with Jesus Christ, a special relationship only we could have. I was all in! My hard heart melted!
I now feel blessed that I was allowed to live long enough to see God’s plan of salvation for me. I share my testimony wherever I can. God has shown me my lostness was a fertile ground of examples of how he never lets us go. We can never do anything so terrible that it cannot be washed in the blood of Jesus Christ. I am finally in my golden years and as many as I have left will be spent sharing his love and mercy as displayed in this man who was lost and now is old but found! Can I get an Amen!
Blessings and Happy Sabbath,
John
4/12/19
