The airport was busy, and it seemed people were moving everywhere with purpose or sitting restlessly waiting, waiting, and waiting. Time seems to pass so slowly when you are waiting.
I was among the second group. I had hurried with such purpose and worry to get to my gate over an hour in rush hour traffic, all the while watching the clock on the rented car dashboard. Was I going to make it? What if there is an accident or roadwork ahead? What if I got to the airport and returned my car and there was a long line? What if after what if kept me from any peace until I made it through TSA inspection, then hurried to my departure gate. Why did I spend so much time worrying, as I sat down there was 45 minutes before boarding? Now I sat waiting.
As I sat down, I look across to see an airport bar. As usual, a fleeting pang of desire ran through me. Not so long ago I would spend my waiting time tossing back ‘double shooters’ of scotch whiskey and staring at the unending parade of sports on one of the 24-hour sports networks. It is funny how certain places trigger old urges even after I have been sober for quite a few years. I felt good as the urge was only fleeting, momentarily proud of my ability to resist. Then I felt somewhat guilty that I still had the urges. All of this took about a minute. I still had 44 minutes to wait and then another 15 to endure during the boarding process. Waiting…what to do? I hate waiting!
Certainly, I could listen to a book on my cell phone or better yet spend some time listening to the Bible, but I had to admit I had no desire to do either. That troubled me, and I felt guilty again. But I was new to this ‘faith’ thing and I just did not get why I needed to spend every spare moment reading the Bible. So, instead I sat and waited doing nothing.
I was brought out of my revelry as someone or several someone’s sat in the chairs next to me. As I looked up, I saw it was a family a young father and a mother, I supposed, and two children. One of the children looked to be pre-school age, maybe four and the other was, I would guess around 8. I immediately felt uncomfortable, why did they have to sit next to me? There were plenty of open seats. Maybe I should move to one of those and recapture my ‘in crowd’ isolation, but I did not. Mainly because to my amazement this family did something I could not believe. As they sat down, I heard the father say,
“Let’s pray.”
I sat and listened to him watching as the wife and children sat heads bowed. He was thanking God for the save travels from home to the airport, praising God that his family was soon going to be reunited with ‘nana and papa’ and also praying a blessing on all travelers. I felt embarrassed and intruding when the father opened his eyes and caught mine staring at him. But he smiled and nodded at me, with reassurance.
“I am sorry if we have offended you, sir. We know sometimes folks get a little upset when we pray like this, but it is my way of keeping my family safe and sound!”
I assured him it did not offend me. I wanted to boast that I was a Christian too! But instead, I sat mute feeling someway I did not understand what that meant. As I continued to watch this family interact peacefully in the middle of airport chaos. I wanted to ask the young man how did they do it. I mean, traveling, same as me, through rush hour traffic and through the obstacles of the airport with two young kids and yet seemingly not restlessly waiting, but enjoying just being safe and going someplace special. I wanted that feeling! I wanted to find that place of peace even in the midst of worry and waiting. Why did I not have it?
This experience happened several years ago. And I wish today I could tell you that I have obtained that peace I was seeking but I still struggle. Oh no, maybe not in the same way. I have come to know Jesus better. I even sometimes can peacefully surrender my junk over to him without a fight. But I cannot sit here today and say the next time I have that same experience I will trust that He will take care and light my path. The difference is today I know why. The secret I did not get back then was what the father of that little family knew, prayer. Prayer of thanksgiving, prayer of praise, prayer of petition. Even when I do not feel like doing it reminding myself who is really in control and yep, it is not me. If I can do as the apostle Paul said,
“ Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 (NLT)
I can find that peace I was and am seeking. And the truth is when I do it. When I let go of this world enough to pray not only when there is worry or waiting but when there is peace abundant and calm beyond all reason, then I get it. Then like the New Living Translation says of Paul’s words,
“…this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ.” Joy is mine in knowing I belong, even with all the junk I still carry around with me every day to Jesus Christ. That even if I am not the person, I should be I am not the person I used to be.
I am not the person I was sitting in that airport years ago. And when I do allow Jesus to do what he promises, I am a man of peace. In prayer I am changed daily. So, can you be. For that I am grateful, thankful, and blessed!
Blessings
John
5/25/2021
