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It has been a while since I have written a blog. For the last few months, I have been concentrating on podcasts but due to wonderful circumstances I am unable to record. The circumstances being that we have returned to the high plains of Wyoming to join an amazing group of people in search of dinosaur bones. But that is just the surface not the substance. The truth is that these scientists, students, and lay workers are here for a much deeper reason. All are here to give glory to the Creator of all things and seek to open minds to the truth of the Word of God.

I know that sounds like a grandiose explanation but that it is the truth as I see it. In a world where most have been taught that there is only one way of looking at the earth and its past unknown history, a small group of scholars have made their life’s work to show that there is another way to ‘dig’ into the unknown and see patterns that show that the Bible is a reliable world view.

Many of you who have read my blogs know that for three-quarters of my life I was among those who thought that this ancient book was nothing more than a collection of stories, unbelievable and akin to fairy tales. I would have laughed at what I now write and would have thought of the author as a person who had been brain-washed to believe in these fairy tales instead of facing the cold hard facts of so called proven science. Well, I won’t get into the argument of science versus faith, but I can tell you that there is enough proof in the ground, in the sky, and in amazing life around us to convince even this once stoic non-believer that there is a Creator and His Word, the Bible is not only transforming but contains history that can be trusted.

Let me put it this way. At the time that I am writing this the sun is about to come up over the plains. I am surrounded by stark beauty so amazing that it is hard to describe, but here is my humble effort. As the sun rises the sky changes from a dark which displays billions of stars to an orange hue, a color you won’t find in even a 64-count box of crayons. The meadow larks are coming to life singing sweet songs to one another and joining in a concert that no human choir can match. The air is crisp and fresh with no city smog to block the sky or congest the nostril. The fields are now lit with green, brown, and floral beauty that thrill the heart. Soon the camp will be alive as another day is upon us. I would be fooling myself if I could sit in the midst of this amazing place and deny that there is a God who created all and continues to show us His wonders.

In so many of my writing I have spent time describing life of an addicted man who denied the existence of a Creator, even while miracles were happening all around me. I have written this to show that even the most harden man of the world can come to see that there is more to this place we call earth than the small life each of us live. I admit that it took more than a month in the beauty of nature to come to this realization. I had to, like many, take a leap of faith and accept God’s Word and believe in the saving power of Jesus Christ. Still once I have experienced the world in this peaceful way, I have come to see so much more beauty and so much less of the hatred and strive given by the self-absorbed life I once lived.

So today and for the next three weeks I will join with this small band of crazies, living in tents with barely enough modern facilities to keep the normal person sane. We will dig and record evidence that point toward a Creator and helps us and others to see that God’s Word is trustworthy. The ancient king David wrote it this way:

The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech; they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.

 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
     It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,
    like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
It rises at one end of the heavens
    and makes its circuit to the other;
    nothing is deprived of its warmth.

Psalm 19: 1-6

I wish you could be here to enjoy this sunrise with me and see the glory of God as it is shown on the high plains of Wyoming, but maybe you can look out into your world and see the beauty you have been missing and praise the Creator. He is waiting for you!

Blessings, John

6/9/22

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Being in the vastness of the Wyoming high plains country surrounded by people of God for the last three weeks, knowing that we have been here under extreme conditions of weather (very hot), lack of rudimentary facilities (tents for home and 4 bathrooms for 60 or more people) and not much modern communication (cell phones rarely connect) united to accomplish singular goals has reminded me of a larger purpose that often gets lost in the hustle and bustle of modern life, being prepared and seeking to help others be prepared for the soon coming of Jesus Christ. The amazing thing about being in this isolated community for this time is that it allows all here to a chance to talk and really get to know one another. In that way it reminds me of the early church of the book of Acts of the Apostles when it says:

“All the believers were together and had everything in common.” Acts 2:42

For me it has been wonderful and refreshing, yet in a week we will break camp and head back to our day to day lives and what lessons will we take from this time of unity of purpose and prayerful devotion. I pray among the many thoughts I have had that each person will take the spirit of this place with them.

Today as I write this, I want to share some of the testimonies and thoughts on the Word of God that I have heard so you who read this may share even if you are not blessed to know someone who has been among us this month. I will not mention names or find no reason to attribute these to a particular person, but if anyone who shared reads this, I pray I did your thoughts justice.

There was a morning devotion that spoke of faith, in fact, I believe there was more than one devotion that was directed at this topic. I was impressed with this because it is something I have struggled with for years. Our speaker spoke of the book of Hebrews chapter 11. (If you do not know that chapter in maybe this is a good time to open your Bible and read.) He spoke of how each character was challenged in different ways when it came to his or her dependence on God.

How Noah’s act of faith was to build a boat, but not just any boat, an enormous one that took 120 years to complete. All of it during a time when it did not rain upon the earth. It made me think, did I have that kind of faith. Could I trust God that much to work for him for even 120 days without physical results and still believe.

About Abraham leaving his secure home to travel to a foreign country without knowing what his mission was, just on pure faith. Later to trust God with the ultimate, his only son Isaac, after being asked to sacrifice him on an altar. Could I be willing to cling to God so completely that I would be willing to sacrifice even my next cup of coffee or meal to follow God’s plan.

It was a thought-provoking devotion that led me to question, once again, where is my faith and how will I grow in trust of the Lord. Here in this community, I had time to think and reflect, it was a blessing.

There were others who shared testimonies of their walks and struggles. Some of which were painful to hear but each of them was a blessing because they encouraged me to see how God worked in each situation miraculously in some and slowly but surely in others.

The devotion that stands out the clearest was given early by one of our scientist leaders. He gave a thought-provoking talk on the idea of how we limit God, seeing only as we do in three dimensions. Using a book titled “Flatlands” where all lived in a two-dimensional world were startled and amazed when a three-dimensional character entered their world. So, when God, who exists in four dimensions or maybe more reveals Himself in our world how it can lead us to truly believe or doubt what we see or read because we cannot understand or trust.

Faith again! I think that has been the theme of this month. Not only in words but in our actions. Faith to believe others will perform the tasks they have been assigned. Faith that each will provide the gifts of the Holy Spirit to make this venture successful. I am not sure that was or is the intent of this endeavor, but it is what I am filled with today as RuthAnn and I prepare to finish our work here.

And as I have started this writing I will conclude. How can such a time as these changes me and maybe you. It is my prayer that I will return to my day-to-day life trusting God’s will for me, even when I do not see it clearly. That I will have more patience and more, well, faith, that God really is working in my life and leading me to complete the good work He has started in me. That I can live like those faithful of Hebrews who:

“….were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” Hebrews 11: 39-40

They never received the promise Jesus Christ, the promise of his life, death, and resurrection, yet believed and by this were made perfect in God’s eyes. How much more blessed are we to have that promise to hold on to every day. We just need to believe, to have faith.

Blessings

John

6/24/2021

The lobby is spacious and decorated in such a way to give all those entering would have a peaceful feeling. The room was full and still under Covid restrictions or at least masks were required. Yet unlike many other doctor’s offices most patients seemed to be allowed to have a family member with them.

RuthAnn and I were both here to see a Cancer and blood specialist. Now we sat filling out the myriad of papers required by doctors before a first appointment. In my mind it was a miracle that we had only been in Texas for less than two weeks and here we were already about to consult a specialist about our serious illnesses. For me that meant an ongoing battle with Prostate Cancer and for RuthAnn it was MGUS, a primary stage of Multiple Myeloma. We would be consulted by the same doctor at the same time. Again, a miracle!

Once the papers were filled out the wait was long as we were moved from the general waiting area to the doctor’s waiting room. Along the way I watched as the patients in various stages of cancer or blood diseases moved through the building heading into various departments. In my mind I was impressed once again with the number of deadly diseases that plague our world, knowing God never intended for it to be this way! As always it made me sad.

I can’t say I was apprehensive about what we were about to hear. I knew RuthAnn was here so she could track her disease. It was not in an active stage and I was sure her consultation would be somewhat routine. I also knew that mine would be much more intense. I had already been told that my cancer was active and that there were little external treatments, such as radiation could do to slow its progress. I was prepared and did not think I would leave with a report that all was well.

As I sat there, I could not help but think about the almost 15 years since I was first diagnosed with stage 4 Prostate Cancer. I remembered the first time I had heard those words. Only 52 at the time and having been misdiagnosed with an enlarged prostate two years earlier, I was shocked to hear that I had cancer. It was a whirlwind process from there. Painful biopsy, followed by an invasive exploratory surgery to check the lower lymph nodes and seminal vessels led to a very poor prognosis. Even if I had radiation which would be extensive, it would not extend my life by much. I was given two years to live. Yet here I was after 15 years of mostly cancer free existence. I knew I had been blessed. I had been given life. But as I sat there, I wondered if I had used this gift as the Lord would have wanted.

I knew, for sure, that my first years after the cancer diagnosis were spent trying to fill my life with worldly pleasure. I had the attitude that I was going to die soon so let’s eat, drink and be merry! I did! Seeking after anything that would fill the void I felt. I look back now and know I wasted so much time, so much of the free gift I had been given.

In 2009 through no goodness of my own, I became convicted that Jesus was real, that he had died for me, that I wanted to serve him. Yet I still lived like I had all the time in the world. Yes, I was busy within ministries and had convinced myself that I was doing all the ‘good’ I needed. After all I had been lost in alcoholism and drug abuse for years now, I was part of a church and working hard for God. Right?

It wasn’t until the death of my wife Dianne due to her cancer in 2014 that I started to see that I really had been just getting by. I needed to find my own relationship with Jesus. I needed to change my life. I really began to pray the prayer,

“Lord make me willing to be willing.”

As they say, be careful what you pray for. By 2016 I decided I needed to retire. At the same time my whole world was transformed as I met an amazing woman online, by the name of RuthAnn Fillman. Married in 2017, moving to Georgia, I began to write this blog and sought to be deeply involved in recovery ministries. Some doors closed but others opened. God led me to become part of Cheri Peter’s team in her ministry True Step and seek ways to share her message that “God is crazy about us!”

Online meetings for the program Celebrating Life in Recovery and even writing another program followed. Writing a book and publishing some of my blogs. I had a busy life, but God was not done. We were led to Texas; I can’t say yet I know why but I trust He has a reason.

All these things ran through my mind as I waited for the diagnosis, I was sure would be given. I thought of the verse from Romans,

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Finally, our names were called, and we were blessed to see a very competent and knowledgeable young doctor. He explained to RuthAnn that she was still stable in her disease and that he would be monitoring her. Mine was as I expected, was more serious. I had entered into the final stages of Prostate Cancer, referred to as Castrate Resistant. Now I would have to make therapy decisions that would entail drugs and chemotherapy. Neither would lead to more than months of extended life beyond what God was willing to grant me.

I left his office assured, feeling that even in this there was a purpose. Again, I don’t know what it will be, but I am trusting that ALL things will work together for good. So, today as I write this, I still feel the urgency to do all I can to serve Him no matter what time I have left. I am and have been blessed. May you know and see the things in your life showing His blessings to you also!

Blessings

John

5/10/21