Have you ever wondered about decisions you have made? Doubted yourself? Or when you came to that fork in the road, what would have happened if you took the left instead of the right? I have to say that I have a lot of those moments in my life. I can now see where I should have zigged instead of zagging. I should have pick choice ‘B’ instead of ‘A’. You get the point.
The fact is that most decisions are not that earth shaking. And if I use the analogy of a fork in the road, choosing one route over the other might be longer but they usually lead back to the same place. I think that most of the time this is true. But there are those choices which change everything and from them there is no turning back, at least from a human perspective this is true. Today I want to share one of those moments of decision that changed my life path forever. Maybe you can identify.
I had recently been separated from my first wife. The decision I made seemed simple enough. I had to decide where I was going to live. It had been decided that seeing my son would stay with his mother I would need to leave our home and find a place of my own. I cannot quite recall how it happened. I think I was talking with a guy who was on my crew working swing shift at the nuke plant. I think I told him I was looking for a place to live and he suggested that I move in to an apartment he was sharing with four other Ironworkers. I know I bulked at the idea. I mean four guys in one apartment would seem to be more than enough, especially four Ironworkers. But Terry said, “We have plenty of room. You can share a room with Petey, he works day shift, so is gone while you will be sleeping. Without any other prospects, I guess I just decided, why not.
At the time it seemed like such a simple decision. I would live with the guys while I was looking for a more permanent place or maybe my wife and I would work it out and I would return home. But once I walked through the door of that apartment my life was changed. My already deepening struggle with alcohol and drugs blossomed in the party environment I became surrounded with.
The apartment itself was huge. Four bedrooms, a big living room and kitchen. And it was situated in a ‘singles’ apartment complex not far from the main drag of the town of Tumwater, Washington. Also, it was within walking distance to a bar where I would become a resident. I knew none of this when I moved in. But within a week I was ‘living the life’. There were parties going on 24/7, if not in our apartment than in another and we were always invited. The center of every party was drugs and booze.
To this point in my life my marriage and my concern for my son had kept my addictions somewhat in control. But now I felt ‘free’ and allowed substances to take total control of my life. It led to a road of depravity and destruction I can only remember with regret.
A simple choice. I cannot say that it was just because I chose to move into that apartment that my life and the lives of many around me were altered. But I can say that if I would have had a better moral base at the time I certainly would have not been in the place I was. I had no Jesus, I had no other fork in the road to choose.
Jesus said this, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.” (Matthew 7:13) My problem for most of my life was that I wanted and sought to be on that ‘broad road’. Even in the years I lived in marriage with my first wife and as much as I loved and still love my son. I wanted to be on that road. So, when that ‘wide gate’ was opened upon moving into that apartment. I ran down that road. Free is what I thought I was, but captive is what I became. And as a result of that choice I lived as a captive for the next almost thirty years.
We all have choices to make. Our loving God has given us free will. But if you do not know His Word and are in it every day. Your choices and my choices can never be the right ones. The Psalm says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” (Psalm 119:105) Without our path being well lit by the Word we are sure to wander off on the wrong fork in the road, even if you already know the way.
Years ago, I was lost on the wide road of life. I had made bad choices. If it were not for the Word of God, I might still be wandering captive to the substances that controlled me for so long. You can choose today to pick up that dusty book off your shelf. Live by His Word and you know the road you are on. It is well lit and heading in the right direction.
Blessings and Happy Sabbath,
John
7/27/18
