William Watson, known to most of us as 2W or just Two, was expounding like he did most days when he was in town. I was down the bar about 4 stools and was thinking of heading up San Fernando Road to the Lighthouse and see if it was quiet there. I knew as long as Two was holding court here there would be no peace around this place.
I had no problems with his stories. In fact, some of them were interesting and you could say, fascinating. But when you had heard them 20 or more times it became like listening to chalk scratching on a blackboard to me. But he didn’t have this effect on everyone, evidently, most folks hung on his every word. That was true again today because quite a group had gathered around the old man. So ok, let me finish this drink and I will slip out without anyone noticing.
As I drained my glass there was a tap on my shoulder. Turning I saw Two’s boy standing there. He looked like always, as if a train had run him over. Hair disheveled and a week or more of scraggly beard. I couldn’t help but compare him to his father, who was always dressed to the nines with hair that looked as if he just left the barbershop. The son’s name was Jerry, but the bar crowd teasingly called him Two-Two, which I knew he hated.
I said, “Hey, Jer, did you drive the old man down from the hills. They lived not far from my place, in La Cresenta. He just shook his shaggy head and said in a scratchy voice, “Yeah, I wish the DMV would give him his license back, so I could have a life again.” I knew Two had lost his license because of glaucoma, so I shook my head in agreement but said, “Why doesn’t he just have the surgery and get it over with?” Jerry barked a laugh and said, “Who knows what goes on in that old man’s head. You want another drink, I think I am going to be here awhile. Whenever he starts talking about the old days at Republic Studios, it could go on all night.” As much as I wanted to leave, I saw the disparate look and decided to stay for one more.
As Jerry ordered from our distracted bartender, I spoke over the din, “Yeah, let’s drink one but how about moving over by the pool tables. No one is hanging out there tonight.” He shook his head in total agreement, “Right, man, anywhere away from these old stories!” We each took our drink and headed to the corner table. I could tell Jerry had something on his mind, so I waited.
It came out soon, “John, you been drinking in here for what, a year or more?” I shook my head in agreement, “Yeah, about that, I guess.” He stared at the ceiling as if looking for inspiration, “Well, you seem like an ok guy and not overly impressed by the old man’s unending stories.” I said, “Hey, Jer, Two is fascinating but….” He cut me off, “Yeah, yeah, I know. He lived the California dream, right? Knew all the old movie stars and worked as an extra in all the big productions.
But I can tell you most of those stories are just that. He is a phony for the most part. The guy had a few bit parts, but most of his life he was a carpenter working on scenery. Why can’t he just be proud of that?” He fell silent for a moment. I could see the anger and frustration that was built like a stone fortress in him. I couldn’t think of anything good to say. We all knew Two’s stories were exaggerated but I had never thought how this all must affect Jerry. To most of us, I guess he was just a shadow of his bigger than life father. For the first time I was seeing him as a regular guy who was hurting.
Have you ever felt ignored or belittled in the world you live in. Maybe you work for an impersonal company and feel like you are just a cog in a big wheel. Frustrated that people do not recognize you or your talent. I have been there a few times and it can mess with your mind. What is even worse if you have a situation like that in your personal life. Living with a spouse or a relative that takes you for granted. Their life is the important one and you feel like your needs are secondary. I have been there too, and it is painful. But I found something enlightening and amazing as I surrendered my life to Jesus. Maybe I was basing my self-worth on the opinion of others and not the One who loves me no matter what.
I found in the Word of God how He views us and what He wants for our life. The apostle Peter said this, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, to proclaim the virtues of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” (1 Peter2:9) When I realized this, that I was included in God’s plan of salvation. It changed the way I valued others opinion of me. I realized, “God so loved the world (me included) that He gave His only begotten Son so that none would perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) When you can believe, as I do, that Jesus would have died just for me, it is a game changer!
Not so for Jerry or even myself. We drank more than one drink together. he continued to let out the bitterness and worthlessness that I guess had been bottled up for years. We both left the bar that night feeling depressed. I knew that my own self esteem was at a low point. And there was nothing Jerry or I could do about it. I am blessed to know that today my value on this earth is not judged by man but by a loving God. He knows me intimately and even with my faults loves me endlessly. He feels the same about you!
Blessings John
12/26/18
