I remember when the first Star Wars movie came out, I stood in line for an hour or more at the theater. I was excited and did not really know what to expect. Friends who had seen the movie had talked about the special effects, action and all the amazing characters. Even though I had never stood in line to see a movie before I was there with thousands of others around the country waiting and anticipating.
A few years later I was in line again. This time to see the Empire Strikes Back and my very young son was with me. He was even worse at waiting in line then I was. Constantly asking when we were going to get to our seats, fidgeting and even crying. To tell you the truth, if I wasn’t such an adult I would have been doing the same thing. Waiting and anticipating is not something I was good at.
But the fact is that I have spent much of my life in anticipation. As a child waiting for school to begin as the summer faded away. At Christmas counting the days with excitement with results that never lived up to expectations. Later as an adult I wasted many hours sitting in cars waiting for my drug dealer to show or when dealing myself waiting on a buyer. Anticipating that next big job, sure I would score the big bucks. There I was always waiting and anticipating. Life seemed to be one long line at the movie and I was always at the end around the corner and eight blocks down. Fidgeting, crying and saying, “Are we there yet?”
I don’t think I am that much different than anyone when it comes right down to it. We live in a world of immediate gratification and faster is better. Waiting for anything is just not acceptable. My problem is that I thought once I accepted Jesus and the Holy Spirit began to transform me all my angst against waiting and all my anticipation would vanish. I would become this patient persevering guy that is at peace 24/7. Well, it didn’t quite happen that way. Or at least not in the way I had expected.
What I hadn’t expected was that anticipation is not a bad thing or is waiting inherently evil. It just depends where my focus is. In other words what I am anticipating. Let me see if I can explain it better.
Most of my life what I was anticipating was what I like to call a ‘give me’. Something that would bring me temporary pleasure. The remainder of my time would be fearing what I call ‘scary things’, test results, money woes and the list goes on and on. And, of course, just accepting Jesus as my Savior did not change any of these things. It was only when I was ready to recognize and surrender all things to Him that my focus on all of them changed. The ‘give me’ stuff no longer held the luster they once did and the ‘scary things’ were not as frightening. Through prayer I found waiting on His answers was a whole different process.
That took a long time. Because even though I started to pray early in my walk with the Lord. At first, I just transferred all my ‘give me’ and ‘scary things’ into prayers and expected a vending machine answer. Plop, out comes the result as I pressed the prayer button. But it did not work that way. What did happen was I started to see results I had never even imagined. Better things than I had anticipated. Then I saw I could trust the apostle Paul when he said, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ. (Philippians 4:6-7) I saw I could wait and anticipate but now on ‘God time’, knowing He would answer.
I still do not like standing in lines. RuthAnn will tell you if we show up at a restaurant and there is a line, it is my inclination to find a less populated and popular place to eat. But I know my prayer life has changed, I guess you could say matured. Like the psalmist I believe I can, “Wait for the LORD, be strong and let your (my) heart take courage, wait on the LORD. (Psalm 27:14) I do trust His answer will be just right. I anticipate and wait but with hope and joy because I trust another promise, Jesus is coming soon! On that day all the waiting will be over and even if I am at the end of the line in the New Jerusalem, I won’t care one bit. In fact, that is one line I am looking forward to.
Blessings John
