The bitter cold morning had left me chilled to the bone even with heavy Carhart coveralls and felt lined Sorrel boots, I was cold as I could remember being. Forty some feet above the Ohio River working on the containment building, the early morning frozen mist had risen like a cold knife that was now cutting through us all.
My crew had been complaining all morning about the workload that had been laid on us and the cold weather just added to the misery. My boss Tommy had been pushing us to the limit for weeks and now the crew was in open revolt. My buddy Jim Hart was on the platform next to me grumbling, “I tell you, John-boy, if this guy doesn’t let up a bit I am heading south. I heard there is a ton of work in Orlando, they are building something called Epcot down at Disney World. It certainly has to be warmer than this and I won’t have to listen to Tommy on my case all day!” I shook my head in the affirmative but was just to cold to speak. My teeth were actually chattering.
I also heard Jared Melon’ on the other side of Jim swearing and mumbling a bunch of Cajun words I did not understand. But then he leaned around and yelled over the job noise, “Don’t listen to this cooyon, bon ami! I told you before come down to New Orleans with Jac and me. Mardi Gras is happenin’ soon. Mama be cookin’ so much Debris you will need a shovel to eat wit!” Jared and his twin brother Jacques had been trying to get me to head south with them for weeks, but this was the first time I was really tempted.
As this conversation was still happening Tommy came around from the other side of the building. I could tell he was about to cut loose on us again about talking when we should be working. But before he could Jim moved around me and stood square in front of him. Both men were big, and years of working rebar had chiseled them into guys you did not want to mess with. As Jim drew close into Tommy’s space he chomped on the chaw of Red Man tobacco he was constantly chewing and spoke in a tone the sent even more chills through me, “Tom, my son, you and I have known each other a long time. You called me down here to work this nuke plant with you. I told you I wasn’t going to put up with your garbage (not the word used but, you know). If you don’t lighten up on us and let us get the work done, boy, I am going to throw you off here into that river below or maybe I might just shoot you!” With that he pushed past him and headed for the ladder platform, saying over his shoulder, “Never mind, I quit, killing you aint worth it!”
Have you ever been that angry? I know I have. I am writing this about another man’s anger, but I could just as well tell you story after story where I was angry enough to say these exact words. I truly wanted to kill someone.
Anger and rage were always a major problem in my life. Whenever I was confronted, be it man or woman I wanted to fight. As I look at it now, I see how all of it came from both my insecurities and my pride. I mean, I guess I could blame it on my upbringing. I was taught to stand up for myself, but I can tell you I took that to the extreme. It got me into more trouble than I would like to recall, but even more it led to a miserable life filled with addictions that I thought could drowned my anger but just inflamed it.
You know the one thing I never expected as I accepted Jesus as my Savior was that he could take that anger and turn it into something positive. Psalm 27 says this, “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.” (Psalm 27: 8-9) God is not threatening here that if I am angry all the time, he will destroy me. He is telling me it is MY anger that eats away at my ability to love. When I realized this, it did not change my passion or me as a person. No, knowing God’s love took that anger and turned it into action to share with others the joy that has replaced the insecurities and even my pride.
I can tell you today, my friends, God wants that for you too. Here is what He seeks for all of us, “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.” (Proverbs 17:27) God wants us to KNOW his Word and, in that knowledge, HE will give us the understanding that leads to patience and joy. What do you think today? Are you angry? Are you lacking the simple joy of a love filled life? Seek Jesus with all your heart, he will change that!
Jim’s anger was like an infection. Even though that day Tommy convinced him to stay on the job, our crew was broken. It was all settled because the project was shut down because of problems with the design and we all went our separate ways. The hate and discontent of that time stayed with me. I did go to Orlando but left there soon because it was not all it was cracked up to be. I spent Mardi Gras in New Orleans with the Melon’ brothers, eating Mama’s food. But under it all I was angry. Years would go by and that anger would be my trademark. I have another now, it is called joy in Christ. My prayer for you today is this same joy for you!
Blessings
John
1/6/20
