Month: June 2018

Why was she being so kind to me? Hadn’t I just called her every name in the book and even some that are too crude to make the book. Yet here she was smiling and getting my papers in order, so I would have all the information I needed. More than likely in a few minutes I would be suggesting to my bosses that she be on the list of employees who would be laid off due to the construction slow down. Maybe that is it, I thought, she is trying to butter me up. Trying to remind me how much I needed her organizational skills. Well, it wasn’t going to work. Right now, it was my job to trim down this department and that is what I was going to do.

As I filled my briefcase with the papers she had just placed on my desk, I felt I should apologize for my latest outburst. It was the least I could do seeing the next time I saw her I would be bringing her pink slip. But naww, I wasn’t going to show any weakness right now. Anyway, she had been in the wrong and had messed up my correspondences and emails. Why should I be apologizing to her, it should be the other way around, shouldn’t it?

When I looked up she was still there waiting and smiling. It made me angry and I felt like jumping down her throat all over again. But instead I said, “Why don’t you make yourself useful. Finish the copies I need for today’s releases. Why are you just standing there grinning like that?” She shook her head and said, “I know your upset about what you are going to have to do today, but don’t worry, everyone here knows that the cutbacks are coming. No one is going to blame you.” At that I barked out a laugh, “You think I am upset because they are finally going to cut out the dead weight around here? No way, I have been waiting for this day for a long time. Don’t worry about me, you better worry about you.”

With that I picked up my briefcase and headed for the door. She followed me and touched my arm, “John, you can be a foul man to work for and I have struggled to show you the kindness that only comes from knowing Jesus. But I want you to know I have prayed each morning before coming to work that the kindness He has shown me would be revealed to you. I am leaving here at the end of the week or I will give you a two week notice if you prefer. Either way I wanted to relief you of one burden as you head into this meeting, do not worry about me.” I wanted to come up with a snide remark but for once in my life I was silent. She smiled earnestly and pushed me out the door. For some reason I felt better than I had a right to. Looking back through the glass door I raised my hand in a half wave and she nodded.

It is now evident to me how many acts of kindness were shown to me in my years of total rebellion against God. Most of the time those acts were met with at best cynicism or at worse outright rudeness and anger. I would suspect there were motives behind the person’s kindness reflecting my bitterness on to their innocent act. But every now and again the Holy Spirit would work through someone and it would open the door to let light into darkness I lived in. For that moment I saw something I could not argue with, criticize or doubt. The incident I just described was one of those moments.

I have thought about it a lot since becoming a follower of Jesus and in fact have written a blog about this same incident last year. The reason that it has stayed with me is that in a time when most people would be angry or bitter. Let me tell you others that day I had to lay off were! This girl’s only concern was for my welfare and not laying any more burdens on me. And maybe I could have been more cynical about that incident but when I reflected on her entire time spent working for me, I saw a pattern which I now recognize as the very thing Jesus asks us to do, “But I tell unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matthew 5:44) That to me is what Christian kindness is and it can only come through the fruit of the Holy Spirit, our total connection with Him.

I still struggle with this fruit. Yesterday was my last radiation treatment. I was ready to shake everyone’s hands at the office I had been going to for about a month and a half. But my dear wife wanted to do more. She wanted to bake them all cookies and show them kindness in return for kindness. My thought was, “they get paid to do it, why do I need to reward them?” I still didn’t get the point. Kindness is more than being ‘nice’ it is being like Jesus, willing to go that extra mile, all the way to the cross. RuthAnn baked those cookies and wrote a card too. Like my employee so many years ago, she showed me what it really means to live as a ‘kind’ person. I pray today, I will be more like both of these good women.

Blessings and Happy Sabbath,

John
6/15/18

I want to share the story of a woman who is a shining example of Christ and His long-suffering attitude toward us. Her name is Viola Christie and she is the grandmother of Dianne, my deceased wife. And even though long passed away she lives in my heart as a prayer warrior who persisted in lifting both Dianne and myself in prayer daily. I count her as a large part of why I am a follower of Jesus today. I think a brief history of her life will give you all an idea of why I write about her when I am sharing my thoughts on this Fruit of the Spirit, longsuffering.

Viola was the ninth of ten children born to John Wesley and Sarah Craig. Her family was one that was in turmoil, a father who may have had sexual issues that were so severe that her mother took the two youngest daughters including Viola away to live with an older sister. Growing up from that point in a mining town and working in the restaurant owned by her sister, Viola saw a lot of the world’s evil on display. This was tempered by her mother’s faith. She had been baptized into the newly formed Seventh Day Adventist Church in Grants Pass, Oregon.

As Viola grew she became more involved in the church, which would be a precursor of her life. She would be a cradle row teacher and active in many ministries throughout. Marrying a fellow church member Floyd Christie, she would have two boys and a girl of whom the boys would be a constant source of prayer. Even though all three children grew up in the church only her daughter would remain in the faith.

Over the years Viola found she needed a closer walk with Jesus to maintain her faith as she saw her sons being drawn farther from the Lord. The oldest, Roland, stayed at home and like his father became a grower of hops. Also, like his father he would only have an outward connection to the church and spent most of his time growing the family business. Her younger son, Bob, proved to be the proverbial wild child. Having a love for fast cars he became a race car driver. And even though he had success at this his life was far removed from the faith he grew up in.

As both had children, Bob would have three and through divorces along with following the racing circuit, these children would be left for grandma to raise. Roland’s living on the ranch allowed his daughter to fall under Viola’s care often too. Her prayer list grew as the children became adults and none kept a close walk with the Lord.

As Viola approached her later years, she had many disappointments and losses. The family business failed and not long after her husband Floyd passed away. Roland’s wife died of a massive heart attack and Roland himself was taken by cancer. Viola moved into a small house on what was left of the ranch’s property. Cared for by her faithful daughter, Carolyn, she would spend her remaining years, not depressed or bitter over the life she had. But always joyful and praising God for His many blessings.

When I met her in the late 1980’s she was just about to celebrate her 90th birthday. Dianne had brought home more than a few ‘strays’ and Grandma Viola had added each one of them to her prayers. It was said she could spend hours on her knees next to the old tub in the bathroom praying the long-suffering prayers of a mother and a grandmother.

Later in the 1990’s as she approached death, one day she said to both Dianne and myself, “I will see you both in the kingdom. God has assured me that my prayers for you will be answered.” I, still under the influence of alcohol and drugs laughed it away as just another crazy thought of an old lady who was quickly becoming senile. But 12 years later I remembered her as I began my walk with the Lord. Dianne would encourage me by saying, “Nana prayed for you and her prayers are being answered!” As I approached baptism in 2012, I knew that was true. Viola Christie had been longsuffering her whole life and even though she had been in the grave for years her prayers were still coming to fruition.

When I think of Viola today, this verse comes to mind always, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5: 3-5) I look at her long life and see that nothing could separate her from the love of God. Not loss of wealth or husband or even loss of her children. She prayed and trusted in God always. That is what I see the Spirit’s fruit of Longsuffering does and she inspires me to this day.

My prayer for all of us today that we can open ourselves to this same Spirit and that we claim what He is so willing to give. May we all walk closer to Him as Viola did.

Blessings John
6/13/18

I was sitting by myself at the end of the bar. It was a rainy day, so I had arrived early, maybe around 10:30. As I sat there I was feeling good and not only from the five or six drinks I had already downed, but because right now this watering hole was peaceful. No one had started the juke box or was there arguments going on at the pool tables and even the TV was turned down low. I was going to enjoy this peace for as long as possible.

There were only two other customers and they too were sitting quietly drinking. The thought came to me as I looked down the bar, some of us drunks really know how to mind our own business. If it could only be this way all the time. I raised my glass and Tony came down, picking it up without asking, he mixed me another whiskey and coke. He set it down and returned to his seat near the TV. Yes, sir, this was the life. But nothing good lasts forever.

As I was daydreaming staring into my drink I heard a commotion at the door. Looking up I saw a crowd of what seemed to be construction workers coming in. They were loud and soon the whole atmosphere of the place changed. The jukebox was blaring, and half the guys were standing around the pool table, as usual the arguments began. Any peace I had was now gone. I sucked down my drink and slammed a fiver on the bar as a tip for Tony.

As I headed back to my truck, the LA rain was still coming down. The gloom of it only added to my already dark spirit. Fumbling for my key, I unlocked the door and slid in behind the steering wheel. I guess I sat there for a while listening to the rain beat on the roof. “Is it too much to ask for a little peace once and a while?” I mumbled to myself. Reaching under the seat I pulled out a pint of whiskey. Addressing the almost empty bottle, I whispered, “The best peace I know comes when I have had enough of you!” I finished it off in two gulps. Starting the truck, I headed out to find another bottle.

During my drinking days, this incident occurred more than once. I sought peace from the demons that tortured me in the very substance that they were using to keep me in bondage. It was the proverbial vicious cycle. I would drink seeking to shut out the noise of the world and as I drank, most time the noise got louder.

The only good thing I can say about that time is that I was seeking. I wanted to find a place where there would be a peace that could fill me in a way that I had heard others talking about. Unfortunately, all those who were talking were also addicted to substances and they were trying to convince me that a high existed where I would find peace. It never happened. All those roads led to the exact opposite, pain and turmoil.

I had come to accept the fact that there was no true peace to be found when I began listening to the Bible. I would hear, “The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. (Psalms 29:11) or “I will listen to what God the LORD says; he promises peace to His people, His faithful servants- but let them not turn to folly.” (Psalm 85:8) What did any of that mean? It sounded nice, but I wasn’t feeling it!

It took a while but slowly it happened without me knowing it. Even though I wasn’t yet ready to believe the words, I noticed a feeling of peace every time I was in the Word of God. Something in my life would be out of control, I would listen to the Bible and even though things might still be in turmoil, I no longer was.

I know now that it was the Holy Spirit showing me that the only true peace any of us have come through His fruit and that fruit comes in believing in He who is the way, the truth and the life. It did take years to break through my cynical doubt and more years to break through the addictions that blocked me from this true peace. But in 2012 when I was baptized, I did finally experience, “. the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding… (Philippians 4:7 partial)

Today when I look back on days like that rainy day in Los Angeles, I feel so sad that I spent so much time seeking to find what was available as a free gift by the grace of God. I want others to know if you are being fooled into believing that the substances you are using or think this world can in any way offer you peace, please don’t be deceived! Listen to these words of Jesus and leave your fear behind, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

Blessings John
6/11/18

Back in September of last year when I wrote a blog on ‘Joy’ as a Fruit of the Spirit, I shared a story about my drinking and drugging years. The gist of it was that myself and all the people I hung out with during those years could find what we called joy being stolen in a moment. We tried hard to find a source of it in substances, in sex or some other worldly pleasure. It never happened!

Yeah, I can honestly admit, there were moments of euphoria when in a drugged-out haze, I thought I had found some form of this Nirvana everyone was talking about, but it would disappear as the bag of speed ran out or as the high turned to the stone-cold light of day. There was never enough ‘stuff’ to keep joy in my heart.

So, let’s fast forward to today, to John the born-again Christ follower, have I found what I had been seeking in the life I am living today? Maybe I might surprise you by saying, ‘no’. The truth is the life I now live is full of as many twists and turns, sorrows and sadness as it had when I was trying to bury it all under an ocean of booze and a mountain of speed. The difference is now I don’t try to escape life, I live it and now with a hope I never had, and it is in this hope that I find a joy that never leaves me! It is because the source of that hope and joy is eternal, it is in Jesus Christ.

I think there is a problem when after coming to Jesus, being baptized, people find the world around them hasn’t changed, there are still trials and tribulations. A young girl in our church was recently baptized and it seems she had the expectation when she came up out of the water all things would be washed away her life would be different, the people around her would be changed but unfortunately for her and maybe me too that isn’t Jesus’ promise in the Gospel of John, “…in the world you will have tribulations.” But the change comes that brings the joy eternal in His next words. “But take heart, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) My joy springs from the promise of the cross, sin is overcome, and we can claim what we don’t deserve, life eternal!

The realization of this wasn’t any easier for me than it was for the young girl I just mentioned. I think my problem stemmed from the idea that I kept mixing up the state of happiness with the joy as given from the Holy Spirit. I read things like, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1: 2-3) Now I was being told that trials were to bring me joy, how could that be? Bible verses like this along with sermons and friends speaking along the same line gave me little hope I would ever understand this type of joy they were talking about. But the Holy Spirit wants us all to have His fruit and for me it was one verse from the Book of Hebrews that changed everything.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2) When the Holy Spirit opened me to what the ‘joy that was set before him’ was I finally understood. That joy for Jesus it is me! It is you! His joy is our salvation, so much so He endured the cross, the shame! Just to allow me to have an opportunity to experience joy in a whole new way!

Once I got this, it changed everything. Sorrows came, trials too. But now I knew the truth, none of it could steal my joy. I could see that all things we endure, if we believe, only make us stronger. I had finally found what I had sought in so many ways and it had been there all along. Sometimes it makes me laugh out loud!

If you don’t have this joy in your life today, my suggestion to you is read the Book of Hebrews. It will only take you an hour maybe less. Savor the words of this amazing book. And I can guarantee if you really are wanting joy in your life Jesus as presented there will change your heart. Read and trust in these words of Jesus, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” (John 16:22) It is a sure thing!

Blessings and Joyous Sabbath,
John
6/8/18

Last year I wrote a series of blogs about the Fruit of the Spirit. Lately I have felt that it was time for me to do so again. So today I am starting at the beginning with: Love!

Love may be the most misused word in the English language. If not misused, then misunderstood. I know this was true for me. In fact, even though I didn’t write the song: “Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places” I certainly lived it. If I tried to delve into the whys of it, it would be because I had a wrong definition of love to start with. Here is an example of what I am talking about, maybe you can relate.

Every relationship excluding the one I am in now (I will get back to this relationship in a bit) started with sex. Most of those relationships began when I and the person I was involved with were under the influence of alcohol or drugs or both. Somewhere along the line the words ‘I love you’ were spoken normally in context of our sexual relationship. Most of the time I did not speak the words first or if I did they were with the idea that it was the right thing to say, certainly not with the idea that I felt some deep abiding emotion. If I am being honest I would have not said those words to anyone unless they said them to me first. Being even more honest, I would have to admit I spoke ‘love’ words many times just so our sexual relationship would not end.

I think you get the idea. To me sex and love were synonymous. I struggled with normal friendships because I was not able to relate to anyone on a deeper basis than comradery in terms of my job or favorite sports teams. This led me to be and think of myself as a ‘loner’. And in some misguided way was even a little proud of it. I did not want anyone to get to close including women I was married to.

I just didn’t get it. I read books about it. Things like, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” and even during my marriage to Dianne went to see a marriage counselor but something was always missing. Love seemed to be just another four-letter word and I used it a lot less than the swear words of the same length. I couldn’t relate, and it left me without any hope.

My problem and I believe a lot of our world’s problem is a ‘selfish’ one. Self and self-gratification has become a synonym for love. And for me it took a miracle from the Source to finally, after over 50 years, to see what love is or maybe better put, who love is, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:8)

In one simple phrase the Apostle John blew up everything I had built my life on. I had already accepted Christ as my Savior, but I was not ready for this revelation. You see, if I did accept this idea it would mean all love comes from a source I had not ever been connected to. I would have to surrender everything to Him and start again from scratch. Was I ready for this? And here is where the Holy Spirit came into the story.

As I wrestled with this new concept, almost every day I was led to another passage in the Word of God that would encourage me, but this is one He kept bringing me to time and time again, “In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent His Son to be a propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also might love one another.” (1 John 4: 9-11) Love, real ever abiding love was manifest in Jesus Christ at the cross. In this I could find nothing to doubt, nothing to deny. And it was this love that changed my life.

This abiding love that was centered on Jesus, allowed me in Dianne’s last years to love her in a new way. I know that Christ centered love brought peace to her last days. And I was sure that once she passed away I was now destined to life alone and draw closer to Him. But He had other plans.

When RuthAnn and I started sending messages back in 2016, I was not sure where it was leading. But soon it was clear that our lives were being brought together in love. But this time it was in His love and I was shown the depth and meaning of what God had intended for us, Christ centered love that leads us to yearn for Him more as we love one another. It has been amazing and if I still don’t get all what love is, it is because the God I serve is so big I can’t absorb it all.

My prayer for you today is that you find your love center in Jesus. I can testify that it will change not only your life but the life of everyone you touch. If you see it in your life today, shout with the Psalmist and me too, “Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever.” (Psalm 136:26)

Blessings John
6/6/18